Category Archives: Music

Music, TV

Give that boy a slap

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Fame Academy winner David Sneddon has flown in the face of popular (ie our) opinion that the cancellation of Scot-soap High Road is nothing short of a national outrage.

“I’m glad it’s finishing,” he told the Scottish edition of The Sun.

But what has poor old High Road done to attract the ire of the weasel-faced singing muppet?

It’s all because he shares a name with High Road’s chief villain, Davie Sneddon.

“I’ve had the mickey taken out of me for years because of High Road,” bleated Sneddon jr. “It was always ‘Is Davie Sneddon your dad’?

“It got worse when I had a No.1 and people would recognise me in the street and shout out: “Hey Davie – how’s Mrs Mack”.

“So although it’s a dreadful shame for fans of High Road and the actors involved, personally I’m glad to see the back of it – because now I’m the one and only Davie Sneddon.”

David – you’re officially barred from Scotland, or at least the very tiny bit of it that lowculture owns.

2013 UPDATE: Poor old Sneddo.

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Music, TV

Frenchie letter

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Thank you, ITV2, for giving us the splendidly trashy American Idol.

In a lot of ways, it reminds us of a bad photocopy of Pop Idol – not bad, just slightly fuzzy.

We were disappointed that they skipped over the audition process in just two hours – watching people with no talent being humiliated on TV is one of our favourite pastimes, so a bit more of that would have been welcome.

Of course, Simon Cowell is in his element telling all the poor, deluded Americans that they’re tone deaf and dressed like a hooker, but we have some worries about his fellow judges. Randy Jackson’s OK, but we can’t even look at Paula Abdul without the spectre of the Vibeology video looming large in our mind.

Lots of the contestants have the very annoying ‘Mariah syndrome’ (why sing just one note when you can sing 15 just to show how clever you are?), but they’re all bright, perky and have nice teeth, so that’s OK.

Our favourite, though, is Frenchie Davis, a woman who may as well have ‘ball-busting diva’ stamped on her forehead. We hope she wins.

2013 UPDATE: She did not win.

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Music, TV

Geri good show

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Are you missing your weekly dose of La Halliwell now that Popstars: The Rivals is just a dim and distant memory?

Well, don’t fret, because Geri’s got another show in the pipeline.

Unlikely as it may seem, she’s been making kissy-faces with old pal Simon Fuller, and is about to become one of the coaches on 19′s latest US reality TV project.

In All American Girl, 15 unfortunates will be split into groups led by either our Geri or one of two other people we’ve never heard of. They will then be sent to a kind of beauty-queen boot camp where their athletic ability, mental agility, performance in the popular arts and beauty will be assessed.

The coaches will be responsible for reducing their groups to four and then three finalists before the obligatory telephone vote and lucrative contract for the winner.

We await the episode in which La H instructs the hopefuls in the art of raking around George Michael’s bins for cake with considerable interest.

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Music

Win Sybil

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All our talk of Sybil’s The Love I Lost yesterday has made us feel quite teary-eyed and nostalgic. In fact, we feel we should be doing more to keep the spirit of Sybil strong in the 21st century.

With this in mind, we’ve decided to give away a copy of her classic 1993 album, Good ‘n’ Ready, that we bought in Cash Converters ages ago and knew would come in handy one day.

This splendid item has been fetching sums as high as 25p on eBay, but we’re going to give it away to one lucky lowculture reader for free

For your chance to win, all you have to do is compose a poem or limerick in honour of Sybil herself (no slash fiction, please.)

Once you’re done, email it to sybil@lowculture.co.uk.

If your poem is the best (or possibly even if it’s the worst), you nab the loot. Closing date: Friday, February 14.

2013 UPDATE: Nobody ever won this prize. I still have the CD.

Music

We will never, no no never, lo-ove again

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Flicking through the local paper yesterday, we came across the top 10 from ten years ago this week.

We were horrified to realise that a whole decade has passed since the lovely Sybil was at No.2 with the mighty The Love I Lost.

To celebrate, we’re proud to present the original single cover, just for you. Seeing it again reminded us of how sorry we used to feel that whoever did the sleeves at PWL went to increasingly elaborate lengths to avoid showing too much of Syb’s face.

And was there some sort of rule that female solo artists with first names beginning with ‘S’ produced by Pete Waterman were not allowed to use their surnames? Mind you, Sybil Lynch, Sonia Evans and Sinitta Malone don’t have quite the same ring to them, do they?

If anyone knows where Sybil is now, please get in touch. If lowculture ever comes into money, we plan to buy her for our collection.

2013 UPDATE: It is now 20 years. Fucking hell. Sybil found this post after Googling herself and sent me a lovely email telling me what she had been up to, and I felt really bad for saying that bit about her face.

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