Tag Archives: Melrose Place

The Saviour of TV

If we had our way, multiple Heather Locklears would star in every programme on TV.

Her ability to save ailing shows with her very presence is legendary (Melrose Place, Spin City and even Scrubs, which was already a big hit, have all benefited from her majestic presence).

The good news is that she’s finally been given a show that’s hers from day one. She’s set to star in a new sitcom called Once Around the Park, in which she will play a divorced mother whose offspring are engaged in weekly machinations to prevent their parents reuniting.

While lowculture is glad that she’s going to be back on the box, we can’t help but feel sad that she will no longer be free to pop across to the UK to save some of our more tired shows. We would pay good money to see her as a scheming sister in Holby City, Phil Mitchell’s love interest in EastEnders or, best of all, a Footballer’s Wife.

2013 UPDATE: This show was never heard of again. I think I might have just made it up.

Late-night culture shock

It was 4am, and lowculture had stumbled home in a state of no small inebriation. In honour of National Chip Week, we were tucking into a polystyrene tray full of greasy goodness, and had decided to see if there was anything worth watching on TV.

After a bit of idle flicking through the channels, we were startled by some familiar music that could mean only one thing – Channel 5 were repeating Melrose Place!

Unfortunately, it was the rubbish first series, before Special Guest Star Heather Locklear made her first appearance as scheming supervixen Amanda and nutty Dr Kimberly tried to blow up the whole cast with a home-made bomb, but by that stage of the evening, we were prepared to take our kicks wherever we could get ‘em.

A nosey at the EPG revealed a further treat to come at 5.10am. Soothing brown titles. Mournful music. Rubbish sets. Yes, they were showing Sons and Daughters as well. Unforunately, we passed out long before it started.

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