It’s the end of another eventful week in Crossroads.

Dave, TV’s most unlikely adulterer, is still knocking off Tracey behind Oona’s back. We hope that, when his infidelity is exposed, Oona uses the Friday night karaoke as a forum to damn the deceitful pair, in song.

Meanwhile, Betty is concocting a love potion, which looks like something the McWitch would have produced in Rentaghost, coming as it does in a comedy cauldron that belches green smoke.

Elsewhere, Rocky’s evil twin has arrived, played by the same actor in an ill-fitting wig, Angel has been shagging the handyman in the basement, and barmy Beena has built a shrine to Ryan in her bedroom.

This stuff is pure dynamite, and how they can even think of taking it off is a mystery to us.

Incidentally, our obsession with Kate’s shot in the opening credits has taken a sinister turn. We realised yesterday that when she does her big toothy grin, we can’t help smiling along with her. We’re thinking of buying a clipboard and a nice burgundy trouser suit for extra authenticity. Say a prayer or something.

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