Tag Archives: Jane Asher

Hubble bubble

It’s the end of another eventful week in Crossroads.

Dave, TV’s most unlikely adulterer, is still knocking off Tracey behind Oona’s back. We hope that, when his infidelity is exposed, Oona uses the Friday night karaoke as a forum to damn the deceitful pair, in song.

Meanwhile, Betty is concocting a love potion, which looks like something the McWitch would have produced in Rentaghost, coming as it does in a comedy cauldron that belches green smoke.

Elsewhere, Rocky’s evil twin has arrived, played by the same actor in an ill-fitting wig, Angel has been shagging the handyman in the basement, and barmy Beena has built a shrine to Ryan in her bedroom.

This stuff is pure dynamite, and how they can even think of taking it off is a mystery to us.

Incidentally, our obsession with Kate’s shot in the opening credits has taken a sinister turn. We realised yesterday that when she does her big toothy grin, we can’t help smiling along with her. We’re thinking of buying a clipboard and a nice burgundy trouser suit for extra authenticity. Say a prayer or something.

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It’s like a sickness, really

Crossroads. It’s got supremely bad acting, tacky sets and some of the worst storylines ever broadcast on television.

In fact, we can’t think of any reason why anyone would want to watch it at all.

Hasn’t stopped us tuning in to every single episode, though.

Jane Asher is superb as Generic Bitch (we love how she always kisses the old-fashioned way), and we can’t help but want to do bad things to Ryan and Jimmy, despite them being the worst sex symbols in the history of soap opera.

It’s poor Jane Gurnett we feel sorry for, though. The pain of her involvement in the whole enterprise seems to be etched on her face throughout every second she is on screen as Kate.

2013 UPDATE: I subsequently met Jane Gurnett at the Mamma Mia 10th anniversary party. I had drunk three pints of wine and she couldn’t get away from me quickly enough.