Now, we have a daily barometer of the fickle tastes of the nation – Crossroads (ITV1, 5pm).

After the triumph that was Emma Noble’s turn as a slutty gold-digger in the opening week, viewers last week were treated to former Coronation Street ‘star’ Scott Wright as some bloke who was trying to pass off his child as a boy, even though she was quite clearly a girl. Lionel Blair, Tim Brooke Taylor, Kate O’Mara and Linda Robson are also lined up to join in the fun.

But the best is yet to come – Dean Gaffney’s agent is confident that a one-week guest spot will be just the thing to launch his post-EastEnders career.

Who wants to put a fiver on Tracy Shaw checking in by the end of the year?

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