Sunday, April 20, 2008
Just rewards
TROPHIES! The British Academy Television Awards, BBC One, 8.00pm
Yes, it's that time again, the British Academy Television Awards. We know the film BAFTAs were a little underwhelming, but tonight is the more lowculture friendly ceremony anyway.
With LC favourites such as Harry Hill's TV Burp, Peep Show, Gavin and Stacey, Boy A, Cranford, Life on Mars, Secret Life, Coming Down The Mountain, Skins, Rome, The Street, Stricly Come Dancing, The Apprentice, Never Mind the Buzzcocks, QI, EastEnders and Holby City there are very few categories in which we would quibble with any of the choices. Except perhaps if Benidorm wins best sitcom. Be warned, though, the whole thing lasts a whopping three hours...
BABIES! Gavin and Stacey, BBC Three, 9.00pm
Speaking of award-winning shows, the second series of Gavin and Stacey concludes tonight as Gavin and Stacey face the question of whether to live in Essex, Barry or break up and Nessa goes into labour.
Other than a couple of slightly saggy episodes in the middle, this series has maintained the quality of the first. It's been warm, engaging and very funny. As one review we read said, it's a show where there are no baddies, where you are rooting for all the characters.
This finale ticks all the boxes (well mostly, there are still some elements left unresolved by the end - but that's what third series are for) - laughter, sadness, awkwardness, loveliness and Bryn's musical taste. The cast are outstanding tonight, and if James Corden, Ruth Jones, Matthew Horne and Joanna Page don't move you to a little sniffle by the end, then you are a cold, cold person indeed.
Labels: BAFTAS, BBC One, BBC Three, Gavin and Stacey, TV
By Rad :: Post link
:: 
::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Friday, April 18, 2008
Baby, I Swear it's Deja Vu
REPETITIVE! The soaps, various channels and times Labels: Coronation Street, EastEnders, Emmerdale, Hollyoaks, Home and Away, neighbours, Soap operas, The Archers, TV
We've noticed something rather annoying in soapland lately - they are all reusing each other's plots. Now we know this is common practice but we're far more used to them recycling their own (yes Hollyoaks with your incest, Neighbours with your infertility=baby, EastEnders with your sleazy teenage girl/dirty old man affairs). Anyway, here's your guide to the current soap plots, and where you may have seen them before...
Emmerdale currently has Laurel's potential babies-switched-at-birth storyline going on (with a DR MARSHALL, which was the name of the resident awesome all-powerful Neighbours doctor who came inbetween Clive Gibbons and Karl Kennedy), the like of which you may remember cropping up last year in both Neighbours and Coronation Street, the soap currently vying with EastEnders over which child of a controlling parent is the most batshit crazy - David Platt or Steven Beale?
Neighbours is currently being rocked by the SCANDALOUS teacher/pupil affair between Rachel and Angus. You may remember this plotline from such stories as, err Libby and Taj in Neighbours, Becca and Justin in Hollyoaks, Emma and, er, Craig McLachlan's character, in Home and Away and Michelle and Geoff in EastEnders (what do you mean storylines from the early '90s about university lecturers and mature students don't count?).
Home and Away is currently thieving from its Aussie neighbour in not-one-but-two-count-em storylines. Firstly, they have a very boring journo story with Belle, mimicking Neighbours' very boring journo story with Elle. (And Riley. And its previous ones with Scott and Libby and umpteen others). The other robbed story involves physio Sam giving a fatal injection to Johnny, in a sort-of-echo of Erinsborough's amazing FakeDoc story last year (and FakeDoc herself has rocked up in Summer Bay recently as another character. Coincidence? I think not?). Will Sam join the current line-up of soap characters perhaps getting away with murder? Hollyoaks' Warren looks set to join that elusive club, which also includes Paul Robinson from, yes, you guessed it, Neighbours.
And a mini-spoiler for next week's Coronation Street (skip to the next paragraph to avoid): according to my TV guide, 'Paul heads to the Police Station. Will he confess to the arson attack?' which, word for word, could be a summary of a Neighbours storyline not so long ago. They didn't even bother changing the character name.
Talking of not changing the character name, EastEnders has completely lifted the character and storylines of Clare from Hollyoaks and placed then in Albert Square. Let's hope she also gets to strut around in a red coat, cheat death in a red coat and fly away, head held high, in a red coat. Hollyoaks has also been attempting the soap-geek makeover (seen everywhere, but most famously in Plain-Jane-superbrain from Neighbours) on Elliot, with mixed results so far, it has to be said.
Even last night's rubbish 'Sean pretends Gus has eaten his dog. LOL!!11!!' story in EastEnders has echoes of the time Neighbours attempted to go multicultural with the Lim family and Julie Martin thought they, too, had eaten a dog.
Oh, and think The Archers is immune to all this? Think again. It's just had a rape trial, and we all know rape is the fall-back storyline option in Hollyoaks...
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
4 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Two's company
SERIOUS! Looking for Dad, BBC Two, 9.00pm Labels: BBC Two, Looking for Dad, Robyn, The Graham Norton Show, TV
FRIVOLOUS! The Graham Norton Show, BBC Two, 7.00pm
We thought we'd just take a moment today to celebrate BBC Two. We like all the telly channels in the world, generally (except, at the moment, ITV1 and their refusal to show the full series of Pushing Daisies but we're sure we'll get over it in time), but there's something quite special about BBC Two and the way it has perhaps the most diverse programming line-up of all the channels right now, yet pretty much all its shows manage to feel at home there. No mean feat.
Tonight is a perfect example of the diversity of the channel. At 7.00pm, we have a one-off documentary, Looking for Dad. Let's overlook the fact that the title was used for a Channel 4 documentary a few years ago and accentuate the positive: it's a journey of filmmaker Charlie Russell and his brother to try and find out something about their estranged father (WHO IS DEAD. Ahem. Sorry). They use clues from his flat, meet his friends and family and try to discover who he really was. It's an unusual choice for this timeslot, and if you're bored of the drugs and incest shenanigans in Hollyoaks and the never-ending wedding saga in EastEnders, this may be worth a shot. It will almost certainly have more heart.
On the opposite end of the spectrum is the return of The Graham Norton Show. Although it is essentially So Graham Norton with fewer vibrator jokes, it still works as a format - partly because Graham can still be funny when he wants to be (the interludes in the group songs in I'd Do Anything not so much), but mainly because most of his guests are good sports who are up for a laugh and thus there tends to be a great rapport between Norton, the guests, the audience and the assorted strange people on the phone or internet. We much prefer this show in short, weekly runs like this to the nightly, years-long marathon that was V Graham Norton, too. Tonight's guests are Tony Curtis, Kevin Bacon and Robyn. How eclectic. How very BBC Two.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Let's hear it for the boys
GAYS! Desperate Housewives, Channel 4, 10.00pm Labels: Channel 4, Desperate Housewives, TV
Despite being a prime contender for the gayest show on television (it's a three-horse race between this, Ugly Betty and Strictly Come Dancing, as far as we can tell), it's taken a surprisingly long time for any actual bummers to turn up on Wisteria Lane. There was Andrew, of course, but he seems to have been neutered ever since he got that personality transplant in the middle of season three. So it is with open arms that we welcome Bob and Lee, the first Desperate Househusbands, to the neighbourhood.
Susan's thrilled that her life has suddenly upgraded from CBS to Showtime, and wastes absolutely no time in running over to greet her new neighbours, proceeding to make an ass of herself in the way that only Susan can. Her initial attempts at claiming the role of Wisteria Lane's first fag hag fall flat after she mistakenly infers the presence of a third party in the relationship ("yes," mocks Lee. "We're gay Mormons.") and attempts to pass off shop-bought cookies as her own hand-baked goods. When these tactics fail to impress, she resorts to dognapping to get the new boys on side. We'd say it makes sense when you see it in context, but let's be realistic: this is Susan. Of course it doesn't.
Elsewhere, there's a delightful scene involving Edie's gynaecologist (the way he breaks the news to her that she has crabs is inspired), Orson does tricks on a scooter down Wisteria Lane, and Katherine's aunt Lilian returns home to die, and is played by one of our favourite actresses for any part involving an old lady serving as a plot point, Ellen Geer. The only downside to tonight's episode is a Tom/Lynette subplot which makes Tom look like a complete jerk, but at least he takes his shirt off. We're not made of stone, you know.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Frank 'n' sense
BIRTH! Shameless, Channel 4, 10.00pm
This series of Shameless has been a marathon rather than a sprint, though we're not about to say it isn't an excellent thing to see British dramas being commissioned for longer-running series like wot they do in America. Audience reaction to this series has been a little varied, with some thinking it's a series too far, others thinking that it's still a great show, just not the same great show it started out as, and still others thinking that it's been fucking great since day one, and if anyone disagrees I'LL FUCKIN' 'AVE YER. Sorry. Came over a bit Chatsworth there. Our opinion? We want more of Mickey and his "fook-shia" stretch limo. Just look at his little face up there! Bless.
We finish at a suitably climactic time for the first family of Chatsworth as a minor earthquake causes Frank to fall off his barstool and into a coma, and causes Monica's waters to break. Cue mayhem as Monica is determined to hold the baby in until Frank's by her side, and Debbie's determined not to let her know that Frank is unconscious in hospital. And while Frank and Monica have never been the most likeable characters in the history of television, this episode gives them both a chance to be a bit heartwarming; Monica's heart-to-heart with Ian is one of the best scenes of the whole series.
Meanwhile, we get a peek at the terrifying workings of Frank's mind while he's dead to the world, including Ian as a ladychasing wideboy, Debbie in a fat suit, Norma apparently dressed up for drag cabaret and a brilliant almost-return from the much-missed Sheila, though we won't spoil precisely how that presents itself...
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Monday, April 14, 2008
China in their hands
RUNWAY! America's Next Top Model, Living, 9.00pm Labels: America's Next Top Model, Living, TV
What an odd cycle of America's Next Top Model this has been, what with Tyra's insistence on making everything green-friendly, the plus-size girl who really didn't look plus-size, the elimination of Heather, who many presumed would win the whole thing, in fifth place, then the elimination of house bitch Bianca before the final, leaving us in the unfamiliar position of being stank-free for the finale. Oh, and Saleisha's makeover. Nothing beats that for oddness: let's take a pleasant-looking if unremarkable girl and give her a pudding bowl haircut, assuring her all the while that it's high fashion when really she looks like a cross between a Beatle and Bob the Builder.
Nonetheless, we have our final three for this cycle in the form of Chantal, Saleisha and Jenah. And as we said right back when we previewed the first episode, we called the winner right from the very beginning, purely based on our understanding of how the show works after sitting through all eight damn "cycles". But assuming there are any of you out there who have managed to get this far while remaining unspoiled (and seriously, if you have: kudos, because we're beginning to think it's not humanly possible), we're not going to tell you who it is. Although we will admit that we don't always read this show as well as we think we can, because another of the girls in the top two is one we wrote off as fodder in the early stages. It just goes to show that Tyra likes to throw a curveball as much as the next person. A fierce curveball though, obviously.
This being the final, the hurdles that remain to be jumped are rather predictable: the three remaining girls have to film an ad for CoverGirl, so best wrap your brain up in some sturdy insulation lest you be hypnotised into believing that you too are in serious need of a peach-flavoured Wetslick. Following that there'll be one final elimination, and the top two girls will have a walk-off in a typically fake-looking runway show - this year with the added bonus of one girl accidentally knocking over a poor unfortunate Chinese extra on stilts. But who will it be, and will it cost her the win? We can barely contain ourselves, in much the same way that Tyra's dresses can often barely contain her.
Oh, and if you think this cycle was ass-crazy? Wait until cycle ten. Seriously.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Shedding Skins
OVER! Skins, E4, 10.00pm
So now we know that tonight's Skins series two finale is not just goodbye to the gang for another year, or even just goodbye to Chris. No, this is goodbye to everyone except Effy and maybe some of her random friends that pop up every now and then, as the people behind the show have decided that they are changing the cast every two years because it's a show that 'represents being 16-18'. Which would be fair enough if it bore any resemblance whatsoever to being 16-18, but anyway. Maybe we're just pissy because our lives were never this exciting or glamorous when we were young.
Whether this decision turns out to be a masterstroke that ensures the show's longevity, or its death knell remains to be seen, but for now there are lots of questions we hope they'll answer before sending the current crop of characters off into the big wide world. Questions such as: 'why was Cassie in New York last week?', 'what will Jal do with the baby?', 'will Tony and Michelle be a couple again?', 'will Maxxie get his top off again?' and 'will Anwar actually get any lines?'
This series overall has been darker, smarter, funnier and deeper than its predecessor, although at times it has been too self-aware and some of the storylines and characters have occasionally teetered into the territory of just being a little bit annoying. As with series one, they have also sometimes skimmed over certain so-called main characters, which is a shame. These are minor qualms, but we hope the writers address these tendencies before the new series, or else it could run the risk of just becoming self-parody.
Anyway, we're sure tonight's episode will be something of a tear-jerker as the gang attend Chris' funeral, receive their A-Level results and make plans for the future. Whatever happens to Skins from here on in, it has launched some excellent young actors, created a very strong brand identity and re-established the teen drama as something acceptable to like for even the most highbrow of viewers (not that we ever had a problem with teen drama, mind).
Goodbye, then Chris, Cassie, Jal, Tony, Maxxie, Michelle, Anwar and Sid (and Posh Kenneth, Abigail and Sketch). We'll miss you...
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Sunday, April 13, 2008
(Ship)Wrecked for Success
CAST AWAY! Shipwrecked, Channel 4, 11.55am Labels: Channel 4, reality TV, Shipwrecked, TV
Your Sunday lie-in has just gotten longer, with the return of Shipwrecked. As with the previous two series, it's going to run for months and each episode is going to be hours long. Today's opener is just over 90 minutes, plus a secondary show that lasts 35 minutes. That's over two hours of your day watching this show. Every week. To be fair, you probably spend even longer than that watching the Come Dine With Me omnibus on a Sunday afternoon anyway, so it shouldn't be too taxing.
For those that aren't familiar with the show, two teams of young and beautiful people spend weeks on end stranded on two desert islands. Each island has its own team, The Tigers or The Sharks, and they spend the coming weeks trying to recruit other members to their gang. The team with the most members at the end of the weeks wins. And, err, that's pretty much it. Although there's always the chance of them getting 'possessed' like LC forum user and Shipwrecked alumnus, Rory.
However, despite the tasks the teams take on being minimal, despite them repeatedly having arguments about rice, getting together and breaking up and the continued shouts of 'sharrrrrks' and 'tiiiigerrrs' and despite it going on FOREVER it still manages to be entertaining. We're not saying this has anything to do with the fact that they are all always barely clothed. But it might be.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Anna Friel, like I just got home, Anna Friel...*
BRIGHT! Pushing Daisies, ITV1, 9.00pm Labels: ITV1, Pushing Daisies, TV
It's not what you think; I haven't found a way to post from the future. Not yet, anyway; it's just that I'm going to be away on Saturday, and I thought I could justify giving a little bit more airtime than usual to Pushing Daisies, given that it's one of ITV's most high-profile launches in ages.
Of course, Gossip Girl had a massive advertising push and it didn't really translate into bringing in the viewers in their millions, so it's very daring of ITV to push ahead with Pushing Daisies, which is arguably not even close to your typical ITV show, on a primetime slot on Saturday night no less. (I note with interest that it's directly after the series opener of Britain's Got Talent, so at least it stands to inherit a healthy audience, as long as it can hold onto it.) It's especially bold considering this is a show that's bound to be polarising: you'll either be charmed by its limitless sense of whimsy and innocence, or you'll be nauseated by all the pastel shades and the self-conscious tweeness.
Thankfully I'm in the former camp: I found the pilot episode enthralling. The show is utterly divorced from reality in every possible way, but it actually makes an asset of this - there's a sense that genuinely anything could happen on this show. For those of you unfamiliar with the extremely high concept: Piemaker Ned has an unusual gift, in that his touch can bring the dead back to life. But this gift has its limitations - if he touches that person again, they die permanently this time, and if he doesn't return the body to a dead state within a specified period of time, someone else dies in their place.
Ned's working in conjunction with a private eye, interrogating murder victims to collect the reward money, when he finds that one of the victims is his childhood sweetheart Chuck (short for Charlotte Charles, in case you were wondering). Having revived her, he finds he can't bring himself to let her die again - but this means any potential for romance with them is doomed, because one touch from Ned will kill Chuck forever.
That's what made the show work for me - that undercurrent of darkness that belies the kitsch visual style and the apple-pie sweetness. The show's cast is great too: Lee Pace is adorably awkward as Ned, Anna Friel captures Chuck's playfulness superbly and with a flawless American accent to boot, Kristen Chenoweth plays Olive Snook, the waitress with a doomed crush on Ned, Ellen Greene and Swoosie Kurtz play Chuck's oddball aunts (there's a fantastic visual gag involving Aunt Lily's missing eye, by the way) and my favourite character is Emerson Cod, the aforementioned shady PI, played by Chi McBride.
It's not going to be to everyone's taste, but I strongly recommend you give it a go. Just keep a pair of sunglasses next to the remote control, just in case a migraine kicks in.
*This joke is approximately eight years old, but I still couldn't resist using it. Sorry.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Friday, April 11, 2008
Seacrest and sighs
CHARITY! American Idol, ITV2, 9.00 & 11.00pm Labels: American Idol, ITV2, TV
It seemed like an odd idea last year: for a show like American Idol that's always felt to be unashamedly about generating extra sources of revenue for record companies to suddenly develop a conscience - especially after foisting Taylor Hicks on an unsuspecting universe the year before - and devote an entire programme to raising money for charity felt weird, somehow. As though we were constantly expecting Ryan Seacrest to announce the whole thing had been an elaborate wind-up and all the donations were going to fund Clive Davis's next annual bonus instead. But no, they raised over $70 million to help fight poverty, and the whole thing was such a success, they're going to do it again this year, and make it bigger. Ah, now that feels like American Idol.
While the whole thing might sound like a rather cringe-worthy effort, there's enough corporate muscle behind the whole thing to pull in some seriously A-list stars, including the likes of Brad Pitt, Mariah Carey and Bono (it was inevitable that he'd turn up, wasn't it?), alongside some slightly less amazing but still bankable stars like Fergie, Celine Dion, Vanessa Hudgens and Miley Cyrus (who, we're sure, was just bein' Miley), as well as Idol alumni such as Fantasia, Elliott Yamin, DAUGHTRY!!11!, and Carrie Underwood.
Last night, the Idols sang "inspirational songs" to gain public support (and really, David Archuleta, 'Angels' inspires us to do a lot of things, none of them good) and following the charity event, there's the inevitable results show. Last year the overwhelming sense of charity so touched the heart of the Idol producers that they decided they couldn't possibly have an elimination on charity night - but will they pull that trick again this year? Or will they decide that the truly charitable thing is to put one of this year's contestants out of their misery and send them home? Either way, we'll find out later.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Thursday, April 10, 2008
A recipe for success
COOKING! Celebrity Come Dine With Me, Channel 4, 8.00pm Labels: Channel 4, come dine with me, TV
It's the moment we've all been waiting for (to clarify, by "we all", we mean "everyone who's unwittingly lost an entire Sunday afternoon watching the omnibus of the daytime edition on More4"): Come Dine With Me has achieved the Holy Grail of daytime television and secured itself a primetime slot. To say that we're excited by this prospect is a bit like saying David Platt is ever so slightly unstable.
If you're one of the unfortunate sorts who's yet to experience the show in all its glory, we'll explain the format for you, though please be aware that you really can't capture the brilliance of this series with the written word alone: a group of strangers from the same town are united for a series of dinner parties with each of them taking it in turns to play host, while being scored by the others out of ten, with the highest-scoring host of the week taking home £1000 for their trouble. But that's really only half the fun: the best parts are the bits where they get to snoop around each others' houses and judge people according to their material possessions, and some of the utterly insane cooking techniques and recipes (fruit coulis made by mixing jam and hot water?), as well as the people with severely skewed ideas of how to host a party, such as leaving people standing on the doorstep in the cold for daring to arrive five minutes early.
Admittedly the celebrities lined up for this edition are not exactly what you'd call A-list, but there's definite potential for hilarity here: It Girl Tamara Beckwith, pop star Lynsey de Paul, musician and owner of the UK's best publicised relationship downgrade MC Harvey, and one quarter of G4, Jonathan Ansell (just four contestants rather than five, the better to squeeze into the tiny 60 minute timeslot). We have no idea what's on any of the menus, but we wouldn't be surprised to see any of them whip out the classic ice-cream topped with crushed Maltesers dish, frankly.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Ready Steady G(T)O
SINITTA! Ready Steady Cook, BBC Two, 4.30pm Labels: BBC Two, food, Ready Steady Cook, Sinitta, TV
We haven't watched Ready Steady Cook for years. We kind of lost interest in it when Fern left and all the famous chefs followed her, and they changed the bloody format / we were working full-time and couldn't watch it any more (delete as you feel applicable).
But we felt we ought to point out today's episode to you, because Sinitta is on it. That's right, Sinitta.
Arrange your excuses to leave work early today now.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Re: construction
BEENY! Property Ladder, Channel 4, 8.00pm Labels: Channel 4, Property Ladder, TV
We've been hurt far too many times before, and we're not going to let it happen again: Channel 4 may be crowing about its new series of Property Ladder (and fair's fair, the house-that-Jack-built themed trailer is very cute), but our defences are well and truly up this time. We're not going to have our hearts stolen by promises of how it will all be different this time, how they truly respect us, how they only want to make us happy, only for it to end up the same way it always does: a handful of genuinely new episodes before the rest of the series is padded out with barely-concealed repeats with five minutes worth of previously unseen material tacked on to the end, leaving us with the sinking feeling that we've been led up the garden path. Again. Sigh.
It's not that we don't enjoy any opportunity to watch this show, of course - it's just that sometimes we wonder if we wouldn't rather hang on until there's enough material to make up a whole new series, even if it means that new series come around less often. After all, if we want to watch repeats, we can just flick over to More 4 and watch a whole row of them in one go - and at least then we're prepared to watch a repeat, rather than tuning in bright-eyed in the hope of seeing all new development fuckups, only to realise five minutes in that we've seen this one before. That way we'd really be able to get excited about a new series again, rather than thinking "oh, how nice. It's back again after about a three week absence."
However, we're not going to let this sudden attack of curmudgeonliness stand in the way of what is still good news: brand new episodes of Property Ladder, however small the quantity. There are few joys in this world greater than witnessing Sarah Beeny smile through clenched teeth as she listens to yet another prospective developer's hair-brained scheme about how ripping out the kitchen and replacing it with a home cinema system will raise the market value by 15%. And let's not forget the drinking game, where you take a swig every time Sarah's voiceover says "but I'm not so sure that's a good idea", and hope you can still stand by the time 9pm rolls around. God bless you, Dame Sarah, and your formidable bosom. As ever, you have the patience of a saint.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Boogie Woogie - Live!
MUSIC! Later... Live, BBC Two, 10.00pm When we heard about Later... Live we assumed it was a spin-off that would run at different times of the year to the main show. But, er, it isn't. It's actually live performances whilst Friday's show is recording. So on Fridays you'll get to see all this and more because that show is longer. So we're not entirely sure of the point of this one. OK, it has the thrill factor that something kerrazy might happen live, and there is the advantage of it being on a Tuesday and in an earlier slot than the Friday show. But essentially, it's the same beast. We think it's kind of a missed opportunity when there is obviously scope for more music on TV. Why not commission a new show altogether, or as we thought was the plan, run this at separate times of the year to normal Later? Oh well, as has been well documented on this site, no-one ever listens to our opinion (except the people behing Neighbours). Tonight's stars include Dawn Kinnard, Yeasayer, Glenn Hansard and Marketa Irglova, Natty (pictured), The Kooks, and LC faves Goldfrapp. We are ashamed to admit we've only heard of two of those acts - but admit it, so have most of you... Labels: BBC Two, Later..., Later... Live, music, TV
We are officially our grandparents. Because we are at that stage of life where very few things are not like they were in 'our day'. And one of those things that was very much better in our day was music television.
When we were whippersnappers, there was Top of The Pops, The Chart Show, The Tube and later The White Room, as well as music on all kinds of other shows, not least Saturday morning kids' TV, which is now also defunct. Oh, and David Hunter will no doubt tell us that in his day you also had Ready, Steady Go and The Old Grey Whistle Test. In this decade pop on mainstream TV is mostly limited to a song during talent show results programmes and the rather ace busking bit on The Culture Show.
So thank heavens for Later... for being one of the last bastions of music telly on the 'proper' channels. OK, it isn't the kind of programme that is going to help children form their music taste, nor is it ever going to promote the shiny pop so many of you are fond of. But it's something.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
4 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Monday, April 07, 2008
The geek shall inherit the earth
NERD! Chuck, Virgin 1, 10.00pm
You may have noticed us going on extensively about how much we were looking forward to this one in our preview of Reaper a few months ago. They both have the same jumping off point, in that they focus on amiable slackers suddenly being thrust into death-defying scenarios on a weekly basis, but from there they head in different directions: Reaper is a sci-fi/fantasy comedy, whereas Chuck is more of an espionage drama with chuckles thrown in. Alias with more humour and less brain-melting complexity, if you like. And also minus the wigs, to our great regret.
The main plot thrust of the show reminds us a little bit of our much-missed Jake 2.0, in that Chuck is a charming nerd who gets thrust into a world he's entirely unfamiliar with after he accidentally reads an e-mail from his old friend-slash-adversary Bryce, since it turns out the e-mail was filled with top secret government information that somehow is directly transferred into his brain. Obviously this makes him a target for all kinds of ne'er-do-wells who want access to what lurks in his head, but since Chuck is hapless and not trained in self-defence, he's assigned help in the form of comely CIA agent Sarah Walker, who's in charge of making sure he doesn't carp it - at least not until they've worked out how to get all the information out of his brain again.
It sounds generic, and in a lot of ways it is, but it's a pretty charming show nonetheless. Those of you who, like us, were glued to the ABC1 channel before it got put out to pasture will probably recognise lead actor Zachary Levi from his stint on not-especially-funny Sara Rue vehicle Less Than Perfect (he was also in Big Momma's House 2, but let's not hold that against him), and his chemistry with co-star Yvonne Strahovski crackles nicely in the pilot. But our favourite part of the show, one that we hope gets more screentime in later episodes since his time in the pilot was tragically limited, is Chuck's sister's boyfriend, Captain Awesome. We'd explain why, but the name pretty much sums it up.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
When I am through with you, there won't be anything left
ANSWERS! Damages, BBC One, 10.35pm Labels: BBC One, Damages, Glenn Close, Ted Danson, TV
Finally, our hard work and dedication is going to be paid off. We hope. After thirteen heart-thumping, gut-wrenching, brain-scratching weeks, Damages reaches its climax tonight. Well, the climax of series one, but we have every faith they'll tie up at least most of the plot threads, or else we'll be tracking the writers down with spiky bookends.
This series, rubbish timeslot aside, has been one of our biggest loves of 2008. We loved the acting, the tension, the trying to figure out just what-the-hell-was-going-on. After last week, the mystery of who killed David was (solved (well, we think), but not the mystery of what will happen to Ellen, or of the grave Patty was visiting, or of what Katie Connor ACTUALLY knows, and of course, we don't know what the outcome of the whole case is going to be.
Glenn Close and Ted Danson have put in amazing performances as Patty Hewes and Ted Frobisher, and the supporting cast have been equally great. We could do without the Ellen storyline invoking The Devil Wears Prada quite so much, but hopefully that will all change for any future series.
We are very glad we stuck through this, and even more glad we managed to avoid spoilers from all our friends who sneakily got ahead of the game. Let's hope our perseverance pays off (and that any future series are scheduled more sensibly).
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Saturday, April 05, 2008
The Sunshine After the Rain
Labels: BBC Four, BBC One, Doctor Who, TV, Verity Lambert night
Well, thank goodness Doctor Who is back to save us from the maudlin state that last night's Torchwood finale put us in. We're not sure we could have coped without something to see us through.
It seems an eternity since Dame Martha Jones bid the Doctor farewell and almost as long since Kylie died in the Christmas special. But here we are, ready for thirteen weeks of new adventures. The start of a new series of Who is always a funny experience. We simultaneously want all thirteen weeks to come at once so we can find out what happens, and want them to be stretched out even longer so it doesn't have to end. That feeling is even more acute as we have heard some tantalising rumours about the content of this series, yet we know we will be restricted to a mere handful of specials in 2009 rather than a series 'proper'.
Tonight sees the return of Donna Noble, and we just think Catherine Tate will be brilliant in this series. She's not going to be the only returnee, either, as during the course of its run, a whole plethora of old friends and enemies return. If you don't know who at least some of them are, well done you, for being able to hide under a rock. And if you've managed to avoid spoilers for now, we son't ruin that for you. Suffice to say, we are excited about pretty much everything we've heard about what's ahead - and even more so about all the things we haven't yet heard about.
And, of course, there are also lots of new faces for us to get used to. Tonight's episode introduces us to a new alien race, the Adipose, and the rather fabulous looking Miss Foster, played by Sarah Lancashire (one of many, many awesome guest stars lined up for the course of series 4). Who is she? What is Adipose industries? And what is that familiar-looking little tool she has with a blue light....?
CLASSICS! Verity Lambert Night, BBC Four, 7.10pm
It is only fitting that the first night of the new series of Doctor Who is also Verity Lambert night. A tribute to one of Who's creators and one of TV's top producers, it includes lots of old Who, The Naked Civil Servant, Minder, Jonathan Creek and a documentary about the life and work of the goodlady herself (which airs at 9.50pm). Watch in awe at just how much amazing one person can produce in their lifetime.
And apologies for the spoiler-tastic post about Torchwood's finale that was here earlier. We've taken it down now, which we know doesn't help anyone who happened to see it already. For our penance we will watch the whole of David Enchilada's performance AND talky bit to camera on American Idol next week. Twice.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Friday, April 04, 2008
Fade to Gray
DANGER! Torchwood, BBC Two, 9.00pm
We are sad to see that this is the last episode in what has largely been a rip-roaring, emotional, tense, funny, Cardiff-centric series of Torchwood (although we couldn't be happier with the timing that means this ends and Doctor Who begins). As much as anything, this series has been a lot of fun.
From seeing Ianto being given a lot more lines and growing to be funny and generally just amazing, to the wonderful plethora of guest stars (including James Marsters, Ruth Jones, Richard Briers, Nerys Hughes and JIM ROBINSON), to the presence of our lovely Martha Jones, to Rhys and PC Andy being generally fabulous, to kick-ass lesbian Victorian Torchwood, to Owen finally becoming likeable, it's been a pretty darn good few weeks in Cardiff.
But tonight's finale scares us a little. We're sure it will be exciting, dramatic and probably also quite funny. But all the previews we have read say it's going to be 'shocking' and 'sad'. If you remember back to the opening episode, Captain Jack's former partner and fellow time agent, Captain John arrived in Cardiff with a grudge against Jack and left having gained a poodle fetish and vowing revenge. He also told us he'd 'found Gray'. Later episodes revealed that Gray is John's brother who went missing when they were children.
We were left at the end of the last episode with John's Star Wars style hologram telling Jack he was coming back to wreck his life. And we saw that he had Gray.
So what will happen tonight? Will Gray and Jack be reunited, or will Gray be lost forever? Will our plucky team survive? Will beautiful Cardiff remain intact? Will Owen die again? Will Tosh get to leave for a better job and a happier life as her five-year contract comes to an end? (We dearly hope so, but we are scared because Russell T Davies and co were saying on Torchwood Declassified the other week that they never let Tosh have happy endings. Let's hope she will finally get one? Please? Pretty please?)
We have no idea, but we're looking forward to (and also dreading a little bit) finding out...
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
4 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Thursday, April 03, 2008
You're a total lightweight
BUFFOONERY! The Apprentice: Worst Decisions Ever, BBC Two, 9.00pm Labels: BBC Two, clip shows, The Apprentice, The Apprentice: Worst Decisions Ever, TV
If yesterday was slim pickings for previews, then today is even worse. (Don't worry, though, the next ten or so days are jam-packed). The best we can come up with is a a clip show, we're afraid. We also don't have much to say about it, sorry, because, well, it's a clip show. What is there to say?
Realising they have a ratings winner on their hands, the BBC have commissioned a few of these occasional clip shows to pop up during this series of The Apprentice. Tonight's is The Worst Decisions Ever which should give you a chance to relive the joy of laughing at the hapless 'entrepreneurs' and their failure to achieve in anything remotely resembling 'business'.
We fully expect Makro cheese and one chicken per pizza to feature, but what we really want to know is if last night's bullshit firing makes the cut.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
It's my anus, doctor. I need you to take a look at my anus.
ILLNESS! Street Doctor, BBC One, 7.30pm
In all fairness, last Wednesday's double-whammy of new series of both The Apprentice and
Admittedly, our exposure to this show has almost entirely been via Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe which covered this show in quite literally gruesome detail during its last series. In fact, here it is, just in case you missed it:
We apologise if you happened to be eating when you watched that, but in fairness, so were we the first time. It's unpleasant, but ultimately character-forming. We hope.
The quartet of peripatetic medics are taking to the streets of Chester this week, though we suspect it's too much to hope for some kind of crossover with Hollyoaks where they trace the entire country's bone marrow database in the space of thirty seconds, identify the father of a bastard child just by quickly glancing at it sideways, and point out to the entire population under the age of fifty that there might be fewer unplanned pregnancies if they just learn to use contraceptives properly. Instead, we can only assume there'll be more sores, bruises, varicose veins and (shudder) hammer toes. If you're planning to tune in, be sure to eat well in advance.
Labels: BBC One, Street Doctor, TV
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
I'm a celebrity... get me on telly
CELEBRITY QUIZZING! The Weakest Link, BBC One, 5.15pm Labels: BBC One, celebrities, John Barrowman, Lisa Scott-Lee, More 4, Myleene Klass, reality TV, Sharon Osbourne, Terri Dwyer, The Guide To...., The Weakest Link, Try Something New, TV
Obviously troubled by the dominance of Neighbours in the ratings, the Beeb are beginning to pull out all the stops with this week’s celebrity editions of The Weakest Link, the like of which we usually only get on Saturdays. Tonight’s special is a reality television stars’ edition, and it’s a good one. Amongst the contestants, we have Rory Laing, formerly of The Apprentice (‘I am your boss’) fame. We hope he mentions his zeppelin.
But Rory is not the only highlight tonight. Terri Dwyer, of, erm, ‘60MM’ appears, which will no doubt delight several forum users. What’s more, if the rumours of her and Suzanne Shaw hosting an episode of The Daily Politics for the BBC’s Children in Need Try Something New week prove to be true, her blog hit count is going to go through the roof (well, it may get a couple more LC-based readers, anyway). (Oh, and talking of Try Something New week, Arlene and Bruno taking on What Not To Wear is an inspired move. Len Goodman hosting A Question of Sport less so).
Also appearing is Lisa Scott Lee (but no Johnny, Andy or Michelle, so a Totally Scott-Lee reunion is yet to be. We mourn), who our spies tell us auditioned for I’d Do Anything under a pseudonym and didn’t get past the meet the producers stage. How we LOLled.
Making up the dregs on this’special are Ben Lunt off Shipwrecked (when they could have asked our Rory), Danielle Lloyd, Brian Belo from Big Brother (yawwwwn) and Helena, aka punchable Maria.
But the two star contestants must surely be Myleene Klass (taking time out from her busy schedule appearing in M&S ads and filming Andrew Davies’ adaptation of Judy Blume’s Forever) and John Barrowman (about to start work on Vegas, a sequel to Blackpool. We don’t yet know if his Doctor Who colleagues Sarah Parish and David Tennant will be reprising their roles. What we do know is that Andrew Lloyd Webber’s attempt to be an alien sex monster in Torchwood didn’t get further than asking Barrowman to put a word in with RTD as a kind of return favour for Barrowman being in all his talent shows. Barrowman apparently just laughed…)
Anyway, our money’s on Myleene to win because she’s such a goody-goody, but maybe Rory Laing will spring a surprise victory.
CELEBRITY TOURISM! The Guide To…, More4, 9.30pm
More4 are branching out into populist territory with this new mini-series. Over the next three nights, three celeb docs have been commissioned – much along the lines of The Beginner’s Guide To… religious series, except tackling social and political issues instead.
Anyway, the series kicks off tonight with Sharon Osbourne’s Guide to… Feminist Activism, in which our intrepid host grapples with all the big issues about womanhood in the 21st century. This is followed tomorrow by Nicky Slater's Guide to… Media Law and on Thursday by Jane Horrocks’ Guide to… the Monopolies and Mergers Commission.
We’re guessing this series is an occasional commission (in which case, can we request Nicholas de Lacy Brown’s Guide to... Culture, pls?).
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
1 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Monday, March 31, 2008
The Butch[er][s] is[/are] back
FRANK! EastEnders, BBC One, Mon & Fri 8.00pm, Tue & Thu 7.30pm Labels: amazing cover versions, BBC One, Charlie Brooks, EastEnders, exciting guest appearances, soap death, TV
Exciting and solemn (mainly exciting) times in EastEnders this week, as the soap pays a very special tribute to the late Mike Reid with four episodes centred around the funeral of Frank Butcher. Pat and Peggy's health spa / civil partnership witnessing break is interrupted by the arrival of Ricky and Diane (DIANE!) with some grave news about their mutual ex-husband, and over the course of the week the Square's residents (the few who've been in it for longer than two years, anyway) pay their respects in true East End style. There may be piano playing. There could be arguments. It's going to be quite a week.
Of course, it's not Frank's first funeral, and the biggest tragedy of all is that with the magnificent Mike Reid officially dead in real actual life, there's no chance of Frank popping out of the coffin mid-service in one of those moments of supreme good taste with which he was always so closely associated (see Fig. 1). So now the REAL thrill is the return of three of Frank's offspring (advance reports make no mention of Clare 'occasional table' Butcher, the Belinda Slater of the family, but we live in hope), with Sophie Lawrence briefly reappearing as Diane (DIANE!) after her last brief reappearance 11 years ago, Charlie Brooks temporarily dragging Janine out of cold storage for the first time since 2004, and serial returnee Sid Owen returning PERMANENTLY (or at least until the lure of To Buy Or Not To Buy and I'm A Celebrity becomes too great) as Ricky, conveniently at exactly the same time as Patsy Palmer makes a similarly permanent return as Bianca 'the former Mrs Ricky Butcher' Jackson, now with added kids, added not a very good singing voice and apparently no money.
So what's everyone been up to in their absence? Well, Bianca's been collecting kids and failing to have any money (see above), while Ricky's bafflingly been doing rather well for himself money-wise, and has landed a gold-digging girlfriend in the shape of Siobhan 'not former-EastEnder Daniela Denby-Ashe' Hayes from My Family. Janine's been hard at work competing with Leanne Battersby in the perpetual ex-cocaine addict, ex-prostitute, money-grabbing bitch parallel life stakes, and appears to be back mainly for the reading of the will (presumably hoping for some cash to cover the cost of the petrol she's presumably planning to buy for the small Italian restaurant she's presumably been running for about a year - looks like Leanne's about to pip you to the post on that one, Janine!), while Diane (DIANE!) has taken responsibility for her son (the frequently offloaded Jacques), is training to be a doctor and has already trained to be a lesbian, evidently hoping to minimise the risk of accidentally falling into bed with Ian Beale or Phil Mitchell during her slight return to Albert Square. 
Naturally, the return of Sophie Lawrence is the most exciting part of all this for us, with the early-90s episode where Frank found Diane (DIANE!) living in Paris being our earliest memory of that peculiarly EastEnders thing of having someone only appear right at the very end of an episode and then putting them at the top of the cast list in the end credits, adding SIGNIFICANCE and INTRIGUE and EXCITEMENT to their appearance. And clearly no post about Sophie Lawrence and Butchery would be complete without this:
Or even THIS:
Superb.
Elsewhere, Pat and Peggy obviously use the funeral as an excuse for another punch-up, selfish Chelsea goes in search of her apparently-selfish father to erroneously claim some bone marrow or bum some cash for a dress or something, and Honey probably does the whole death-related malapropism thing quite a lot (to death, in fact). Ricky, Diane (DIANE!), Janine: please accept our sincerest condonances.
By Nick :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Teenage rampage
CALAMITY! Neighbours, Five, 1.45pm, 5.30pm, 5.10 am; Five Life, 7.00pm
We are pleased to see that the writers and producers of Neighbours take the advice of lowculture seriously. We refer you back to December 10, 2007, when we gave them a list of tips to make the show better.
Our tips included:
» Axe Ned (we don't want to give too much away here, but... squeeee!)
» The Parker family (Ned aside) could have potential if they are actually rewritten a bit. Someone on the message boards commented that Dad Parker is trying to fill the nice guy role of Philip Martin, but doesn't quite achieve it. That's because Philip Martin had suffered being married to Julie, then seeing her die, and being dad to all those horrible kids. Then he married Ruth, who had a bit of sass, and thus was a good foil for him. So, we'd like to see Miranda (mum) Parker, either developing her Ruth/Susan/Janelle sass - which we feel is unlikely, seeing as in Neighbours, that sass is usually formed by being dicked over by a man and not standing for it - or, our preferred option, becoming the new Julie/Hilary/Mrs Mangel. The street needs a new busybody, and she could easily be it. Riley is decent enough eye candy, but he needs to take his shirt off a bit more, get screwed over by Elle Robinson and go all dewey-eyed with tears. And get a plotline. 'Didge' either needs to get over herself, fast, or die in a freak accident. (Seriously. We rocked this one. Every point ticked. Well Elle hasn't screwed Riley over yet, but surely it's a matter of time)
» All good Neighbours casts have a teenage gang. The current bunch of teenagers barely even speak to one another. Get them bonding, stat.
And it is to this last point which we now come. They have, indeed, bonded the group of teenagers (well, except Declan, who appears to have been missing in action for weeks), and added in new kids Josh, Jessica and Taylah to boot, as well as a ginger school bully. However, tonight's episode is the 2007 series finale. Previous series finales have included Lassiter's blowing up, the plane crash and other such death-ridden catastrophes. So what we are saying is that we hope you haven't got too much emotion invested in the current teen gang, OK?
You may have noticed that there is an ILLEGAL! DANCE! PARTY! taking place. And regular viewers will know that Neighbours takes a dim view of teenagers doing illegal activities, particularly if dancing, or sexing, or drugzing, or drinking might be involved. So let's just say this dance party is probably not going to go anywhere good.
With Rachel and her current-inappropriate-but-cute-teacher-shag-Angus, Zeke, Didge, Ringo, Declan (maybe?), Riley, Taylah, Jess, Josh, presumably the ginger bully, Elle and Riley (demonstrating mad undercover journalistic skillz), and, inexplicably, Libby and Karl all on the premises, will everyone make it out alive? And will anyone develop temporary disabilities that will magically go away in five weeks' time?
We're not saying. But if the producers are reading, we're still waiting for Steph and Toadie to have some kids, and for someone to go on that Cuba trip. You know it makes sense...
Labels: Five, Five Life, neighbours, Soap, soap death, TV
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
2 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Sunday, March 30, 2008
O Brother(s and Sisters), where art thou?
SIBLINGS! Brothers and Sisters, E4, 11.00pm Labels: Brothers and Sisters, e4, TV
There's a bit of an interesting disconnect in the E4 marketing department at the moment, or so it seems to us. They're certainly not shy about running lots of trails announcing the return of this show, citing the opportunity to "see it first" on E4, and making it all sound like a very special viewer-centric offer. But then you get to the end of the trail and you notice that it's on Sunday nights at 11pm, which seems less like a hot premiere spot and more like the sort of scheduling graveyard where you stick something you're contractually bound to show at some point even though you don't really want to. And the "see it first" thing sounds a bit odd when we can't find it anywhere in the Channel 4 schedules right now (based solely on the Radio Times website programme search, so we fully admit we haven't looked very hard).
We're assuming this has something to do with the show not rating all that well when it had a slightly more prestigious timeslot on Channel 4 last year, which is a shame really, because we rather liked it. But then, it is understandable that a series about a rich WASP-y family in America divided by politics and their own infinite dysfunctions isn't necessarily everyone's cup of tea, especially when large chunks of time pass in this show where nothing very much happens. Interestingly, though, Dirty Sexy Money, focusing also on a rich dysfunctional family, was rating very healthily on Friday nights on Channel 4 last time we checked. Just goes to show how the viewing public are unpredictable, really (for more information on this, look at our gushing post from Thursday about how much we love Gossip Girl and then look at the ratings. Ouch).
Anyway, we are perhaps at least partially responsible for the drop in ratings towards the end since the latter half of the series coincided with us moving house and never being in to watch telly very much and being without access to broadband catch-up services for a couple of weeks (we almost didn't make it), so we've had to consult the internets to find out how season one ended: Rebecca revealed she had an affair with a teacher when she was sixteen, Justin got sent to Iraq, Kitty and Robert got engaged, Saul was maybe a homosexual, and Kevin made out with Robert's brother. Awesome. In tonight's episode, it's Kitty's birthday again (which the avid fans amongst you will remember is how season one started, and prompted the passing of Papa Walker) and Rebecca's throwing them a shindig at a Tex Mex bar. And they all, in a completely unprecedented moment of character development, proceed to get wankered and maudlin. No doubt the twelve of us who loved season one will lap it up.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Let us clay
SCREAM! Clay, BBC One, 3.30pm Labels: BBC One, Clay, family drama, Imelda Staunton, TV
You know how they don't make Sunday afternoon family telly like they used to in our day? Some of us may well be more than happy with the More4 Sunday afternoon of coooking greatness Come Dine With Me, Jame at Home and whatever River Cottage programme is on that week, but won't somebody please think of the children? And the non-foodies?
Well, today they have. Clay is one of those dramas that would feel more at home on a Bank Holiday, perhaps, but it's nonetheless a welcome addition to a lacklustre "big five channels" Sunday afternoon schedule.
Starring Imelda Staunton, which is always reason enough to preview anything, it is a 'family' drama based on a 'best-selling' (we haven't heard of it, but then we were twelve a very long time ago) book by David Almond. The story is set in Tyneside in the 1960s and features a boy called Davie Hagan making friends with a strange man, Stephen Rose who has been expelled from priesthood training. Imelda plays Davie's auntie.
Stephen has a 'talent' for making life-like clay models and one day he makes one that appears to be very life-like and has been made with the intention of obeying its creators. That surely can't be a good thing...
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
1 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Friday, March 28, 2008
Nobody sees the show, not 'til her heart says so
MUSICAL! The Passions of...Girls Aloud, ITV2, 10.00pm Labels: ITV2, The Passions of Girls Aloud, TV
We rather deliberately let the first couple of episodes of this series pass without a mention on the front page. Not because we weren't interested in Cheryl learning the art of street dance, or Sarah getting the hang of playing polo, but just because we wanted to wait until we could talk about the episode we really wanted to see. Now it's finally arrived, so we're lifting our embargo, and we're getting very excited at the prospect of watching Kimberley audition for Les Miserables.
The reason that we're so excited about this one is not because we're a bunch of jazz-hands loving theatre gays (honest), but more because Kimberley's our stealth favourite member of Girls Aloud, by virtue of being the one you could imagine yourself being mates with and hanging around down the pub without too much of a stretch. She (and also Nicola, to a similar extent, and in the interests of fairness we're also very excited about next week's show in which Nicola launches a range of cosmetics for fair-skinned people) is the one who's maintained a pleasant sense of normality despite being in a very good and successful girlband, and for that reason we're utterly entranced by her.
So we've got every available digit crossed in the hope that Kimba's journey, involving her working with the best trainers that musical theatre has to offer, not just in London but also in New York, is a successful one. Although hopefully not so successful that she drops out of the band to spend the next three years playing Eponine, obviously. Then we'd be the miserable ones.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Hot gossip
XOXO! Gossip Girl, ITV2, 10.00pm Labels: Gossip Girl, ITV2, TV
"Hey Upper East (of the internet) Siders, lowculture here. Spotted: hot new US import making itself comfortable with the new neighbours on ITV2. Our spies say they saw her cosying up with new gal pal Bionic Woman, and we're just dying to know what C and her Real Women are making of it all. You know you love us. XOXO, lowculture."
Okay, fine, so we couldn't quite keep it up to write the entire entry in salacious gossip blog speak, but don't let that put you off: Gossip Girl is our new favourite show. (And yes, we're aware we say that on a regular basis, but we really mean it this time.) It's from the creators of The OC (who have apparently learned their lesson, since Mischa Barton is nowhere to be seen) and based on the teen novels by Cecily von Zeigesar, but this is all irrelevant background in relation to the fact that it is a soapy teen drama with possibly the hottest ensemble cast we've ever seen. Seriously, there is not a faulty gene anywhere on this show, and you could cut glass with the cheekbones. Someone give the casting director a medal. And what makes it all even more satisfying is that despite the occasional smell-the-fart moment from Chace Crawford (and please ignore his bad hair in the opening episode - it gets infinitely better in episode two, at which point he becomes so pretty you might actually cry), the acting is right on the money as well, especially Leighton Meester as queen bee Blair Waldorf.
In case you're wondering why you should care about any of this, here's the plot rundown: former wild child Serena van der Woodsen is spotted at Grand Central Station after fleeing without explanation some months hence, much to the delight of Nate Archibald, who's been nursing a crush on Serena since forever, but to the chagrin of Nate's girlfriend and Serena's former BFF Blair Waldorf. Meanwhile, Dan and Jenny Humphrey are meant to be impoverished even though you could fit the whole of lowculture towers into their kitchen, and Chuck Bass is the person of whom you see a picture if you look up the word "skeezy" in the dictionary, but is no less awesome for this. (He is possibly less awesome for his predilection for rape, mind.)
You may be wondering where the Gossip, and indeed the Girl, come in. That's the best part: since the lead characters are, for the most part, the ridiculously moneyed offspring of equally ridiculously moneyed socialites, they are minor celebrities in their own right, and their every move is chronicled by a catty blogger known only as Gossip Girl, never seen, but voiced to perfection by Veronica Mars's Kristen Bell. Seriously, we can't think of another actor who can put as much life into the signoff "XOXO" as she does.
What's refreshing about all this is that the characters are all surprisingly empathetic, despite being richer and prettier and all round generally better than us. Sure, we wanted to smack Dan with a brick for the first few episodes when he wouldn't shut up about the social injustice of being moderately less well-off than everyone else he knows, but he calms down eventually, and we predict future lowculture icon status for bitchy, needy, insecure Blair. And if you need any more reasons to tune in, the episode titles are all mini works of art in themselves, including such inspired puns as "The Wild Brunch", "Bad News Blair" and our personal favourite, "Hi, Society!"
You know you love us. XOXO.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
May the fourth (series) be with you
We are so giddy right now we are in danger of spontaneously combusting. We don't actually want to combust though, because then we'd miss the new series of Doctor Who, the finales of Ashes to Ashes, Torchwood and Damages, the continued aceness of Pulling, Gavin and Stacey and Rock Rivals, the start of Gossip Girl and the return tonight of The Apprentice and Desperate Housewives. But we ask you, seriously, how much excitement are we expected to take all within the course of one month? What we are really looking forward to, though, is watching Nick and Margaret (aka the voice of the viewer) as they purse their lips, look disapproving and come out with amazing one-liners, enjoying Sralan's put-downs and generally pouring scorn on all the contestants. If you feel the same, join some of your fave LC friends over on http://theapprentbitch.blogspot.com/ as we recap it week by week. Oh, and don't forget the ruddy awesome The Apprentice: You're Fired straight afterwards SPICE! Desperate Housewives, Channel 4, 10.00pm and Channel 4+1, 11.00pm Last time we were with Desperate Housewives everything had gone a bit awry. Bree was pretending to be pregnant with slutty daughter Danielle's baby, whilst Danielle herself had been packed off to the nuns or somewhere to hide out the rest of the pregnancy. Evil but awesome son Andrew was also apparently nice, so something very rum is afoot in the van de Kamp/Hodge household (and that's without going into all the crazy that surrounded Orson and his family). Lynette had gone through the shock of finding out Tom had a secret daughter, being held hostage with, and witnessing the death of, mother of said daughter, opening a pizzeria and discovering she had cancer. Lynette can join our list of lovely, unfairly put-upon women as detailed yesterday, come to think of it. Gabrielle was unhappily married to politician Victor and looked to be restarting her relationship with Carlos (yawn. Seriously, we don't like those two together at all.) via an almost relationship with newly returned, newly wealthy creepy Zach. Carlos, meanwhile had dumped Edie (boooo! They were so good together) and she had apparently committed/attempted suicide. Finally, the biggest injustice of all was that Susan Meyer was still left alive, cancer free, with no fake babies to raise AND engaged to the lovely Mike. This show has no concept of karma. Tonight's opening episode picks up the regular characters' plots from where they left off, and introduces a new family. Will they, like the Youngs and Applewhites before them, have a 'dark secret'? Well, what do you think...? Labels: BBC One, BBC Two, Channel 4, Desperate Housewives, The Apprentice, The Apprentice: You're Fired, TV
SUGAR! The Apprentice, BBC One, 9.00pm and The Apprentice: You're Fired, BBC Two, 10.00pm
The fourth series of The Apprentice is an event in the lowculture that will probably only be equalled in terms of anticipation by the fourth series of Doctor Who. Already a sweepstake is under way on the forum and there is fevered discussion about the contestants themselves. The most intriguing/bonkers contestant is almost certainly going to be Nicholas de Lacy Brown, mind.
We don't know what this series will have up its sleeve to master the triumphs of the last three series ('I AM your boss', The Badger's house-selling, lips for sin, James selling wooly jumpers, Simon and the trampoline, titties and fish, cooking on a bean can, Paul Tulip being fired for being a big fat liar etc) although we imagine the scandals of previous series (Miriam's shock firing, Karen's shock firing, Naomi's shock firing), the unfairness of the finale (fierce contestant vs wet and dull and often incompetent contestant as they stage a rubbishy looking event. No matter what the result, the wet one gets hired) and the crapness of the prize (launching electronic beauty products, overseeing a computer recycling business doing what local councils do for free, err, managing a golf course or somesuch) will be consistent.
We feel so spoiled today. As soon as Sralan has finished (or half an hour later, if you watch You're Fired) you can tune in to another fourth series, this time a welcome return to those crazy bitches and, er, male bitches of Wisteria Lane.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
It's a shame (my sister)
DODGY DRUGZ! Shameless, Channel 4, 10.00pm
Shameless series five has had a bit of a bumpy journey. The transition from focussing on one family to two families to a whole community is a good one, but it has taken a bit of time to find its way. Some of the episodes this series have been great (last week's 'siege'), some less-great (we don't want any more gay incest, this isn't Hollyoaks). Tonight's, though, is a bit of a corker.
The focus of our attention is Mandy, who's been hanging around doing not very much since Lip went to university (and how come he never visits home? The students we know are always popping back for a weekend), so it's nice that she finally gets some proper screen time tonight.
Our Mandy is looking for a new man, but it hasn't been going swimmingly. finally, she meets a nice guy, it all goes well, and as frequently happens in these situations, he necks a dodgy Maguire-sourced E and snuffs it. (If this carries on, Mandy will be joining her Hollyoaks namesake, Tosh from Torchwood and Susan-Smith-Kennedy-Smith-Kennedy-Smith-Kinski-Kennedy from Neighbours on our list of much loved iconic drama/soap characters who are way too good for all the crappy the things that happen to them). Mandy, Karen and Jamie are left with a body to dispose of, and Mimi is left panicking that not only might she have poisoned dead bloke, Chesney Karib is also looking pretty rough and she thinks he might also have necked a dody pill....
This sets up a cracking tale (about a trillion times better than Hollyoaks' current 'drugz is bad m'kay' storyline), with some great scenes between Karen and Mandy, Yvonne and Mimi and Chesney and the Maguires. We see new, exciting friendships formed, and even Frank gets to have a moment of aceness.
Oh, and watch out for the end credits bit, which is also pretty good fun. More of this kind of thing please, writers. Thanks.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
A Klass of their own
FEROSH! A-Listers Unzipped, UKTV Style, 11.00pm Labels: A Listers Unzipped, Myleene Klass, TV, UKTV Style
It's always heartening to see those celebrities who fly under the radar finally get some of the exposure they've been working towards through careful and deliberate choice of projects. It's so easy to just get your face everywhere by lending your name to any old tat. So we're pleased that Myleene Klass was able to take time out from hawking M&S clobber/presenting Classic FM/making compilation CDs of music for mothers/appearing on the Sky HD test card/hosting the Classical BRITs to lend her presenting skills to this new celebrity fashion show. Let's hope she can put in a good word for her similarly underused celeb chum John Barrowman to keep him on our screens.
Affectionate joking aside, this show sounds like it might have been made with us in mind: it's the sort of thing that would be right up the street of anyone who loves trashing the fashion don'ts of celebrities while thumbing through the tabloids, or who is addicted to Beat the Stylist on This Morning, or who impatiently refreshes Go Fug Yourself to see whether Lindsay Lohan still insists on wearing leggings with everything. (Precisely how much of this applies directly to us is something we won't be drawn on at this stage.)
In this scenario, Myleene is joined by a panel of fashion experts (which actually includes the Fug Girls, which automatically makes this must see TV for us, because we love those bitches) who will be examining the good, the bad and the ugly examples of celebrity styling, and will be using a giant video wall and CGI to attempt to correct the fashion faux pas. Our only fear in this is whether modern airbrushing is up to the collective challenge of the likes of Bai Ling and Chloe Sevigny. Either way, this is the show no catty bitch can afford to miss, so...that's all of us, then.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Sunday, March 23, 2008
I am the resurrection
Easter is a day where we remember Jesus rising from the dead / celebrate the new life of Spring Labels: BBC Three, Celebrity Wife Swap, Channel 4, Easter, Pulling, resurrection, Sinitta, TV/eat lots of chocolate and feel a bit sick. - whichever (Christian/Pagan/err, other) narrative you choose to ascribe to this festival it's all about the new life, baby. 
Tonight is the latest in the occasional series of Celebrity Wife Swap where two slightly 'eccentric' (read: barking) celebrities get to play partners. The usual narrative seems to be: place opposites together, watch the sparks fly, and let their long-suffering other halves have a really nice and relaxing week. However, our all-time favourite of these was Pete Burns and Neil Ruddock, where they refused to play ball and actually got on like a house on fire and it was all really ruddy marvellous.
Whatever your views on the format, though, you will want to join in tonight. Not so much for Bruce Jones, aka Les Battersby, but for his celebrity 'wife': SINITTA. That's S-I-N-I-T-T-A. Add the fact that he has been accused of racism to the mix, and we hope Sinitta will be dealing out some serious pwn-age. We dearly hope, though, that all the fighting and whatnot will be put aside long enough for us to get a guided tour of her walk-in fan room. She must have one, surely?
We don't want to reveal everything about what our heroines get up to in this episode, but rest assured, any sitcom that can shoehorn in side ponytails, drunken kitchen sex, watching An Inconvenient Truth whilst drunk, Soda Streams, curly straws, drunken Lithuanian sex, bizarre Fifth Element style outfits, drunken primary school sex (NOT with children, you'll be pleased to hear) and Juliet Cowan being filthy is fine by us. The only thing we are a little scared about is the presence of Paul Kaye as a recurring guest character. We still haven't forgiven him for playing that dodgy atheist former vicar bloke in EastEnders. Let's hope he makes amends for that, especially with it being the Day of Our Lord and all.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Friday, March 21, 2008
Baseball, dancing - same game
JAZZ HANDS! High School Musical 2, BBC1, 4.05pm Labels: BBC One, high school musical 2, TV
We wrote extensively about this when it premiered on the Disney Channel last year, but we can't let the arrival of High School Musical 2 on terrestrial TV pass without some kind of fanfare, so here's a quick rundown of all the very compelling reasons why you should watch it.
- The continuation and development of the complex symbolism established in the first film where the wearing of a hat is a clear indicator of homosexuality. Watch how Ryan's dad keeps trying to STRAIGHTEN OUT his son's hat, only for Ryan to reset it at the familiar jaunty angle the minute his father's back is turned.
- Speaking of which, we get to meet Sharpay and Ryan's parents this time around, and Ryan's "hi, mom!" in the middle of a yoga class is probably the best-delivered line in the entire film.
- Zac Efron's angry solo on the golf course, where he jumps around a lot and does his best to look as deep and conflicted as you can look while doing jazz hands.
- Almost everyone is quite hilariously orange this time around.
- Sharpay wears a dress that has A TAIL.
- The use of baseball terminology as a metaphor for sex gets its most blatant demonstration yet during the Ryan/Chad duet 'I Don't Dance', which is about dancing and baseball if you're under eight, and about hot gay sex to everyone else:
Unfortunately Gabriella is still a tedious drip, and we still spend the entire film hoping for Sharpay's nefarious plan to come to fruition because she's far more fun to watch, but Gabriella's easy enough to ignore if you put your mind to it. Besides, did we mention the bumming song? Best ever.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
2 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Darlings you were wonderful, you really were quite good
WEALTH! Dirty Sexy Money, Channel 4, 9.00pm Labels: Channel 4, Dirty Sexy Money, TV
It's quite brave of Channel 4 to take another punt on a US drama about a dysfunctional upper-class family, since Brothers and Sisters kind of tanked last year and appears to be returning as an E4-only extravaganza, but really, the fact that they both focus on moneyed families is where the similarities begin and end. Brothers and Sisters was soft, gentle and soapy - good qualities for, say, Imperial Leather, but not necessarily the basis of compelling television. Dirty Sexy Money, on the other hand, is brash, glitzy, swift, and just a little bit sleazy. Needless to say, we love it.
Six Feet Under's Peter Krause stars as do-gooder lawyer Nick George, whose father was essentially the bitch of the Darlings, New York's richest family. Needless to say, this led to poor Nicky having the sort of woebegone childhood where he didn't see enough of his daddy, and vowed that he would not be like him when he grew up. This, of course, has the unfortunate side effect of making him a bit of a sanctimonious old fart. However! When his dad dies in a Mysterious Plane AccidentTM, partriarch Tripp Darling makes him An Offer He Can't RefuseTM - he takes over his father's old job, and the family gives him $10 million dollars a year to do all the do-gooding deeds he could never afford when he was a bleeding heart attorney working for peanuts. It's a slightly contrived set-up, we grant you, but that's all taken care of within the first ten minutes or so, and we spend the rest of the hour meeting the many glorious fuckups that are the Darling parents and children, and that's where the fun really starts.
You might want to have a pen and paper on hand to jot down a rudimentary family tree to keep track of everyone and who they're married to/having an illicit affair with, but so far our favourites are alcoholic middle child Karen Darling, whose spacey lack of interest in her own life would be conspicuous, were she not actually one of the sanest children in the family; Episcopal priest Brian Darling, who has what we'll politely refer to as "anger management issues", and the pretty-in-a-coked-up-way Jeremy Darling, who wins a yacht off Ethan Hawke in a poker game in the first episode. It's an unusual choice for a Friday night, given that, while very funny in many places, it clearly isn't a comedy, and it lacks the slapstick throwaway element that worked for Ugly Betty in this slot, but we're quietly hopeful that it won't be completely ignored, Echo Beach-style, because on the basis of the first episode, it's going to be ace.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Karma'n over to my place
PROPERTY! I Own Britain's Best Home, Five, 8.00pm Labels: Channel 4, Five, I Own Britain's Best Home, My Name Is Earl, TV
Now we know there are a lot of you out there who like property porn (or more specifically, property porn with a bunch of foolish 'real' people and some clever and just the right side of condescending experts.... OK, property porn that features Sarah Beeny, Kirstie'n'Phil, Ann Maurice or Kevin McCloud) and we wondered if this new little show would be up your street.
However, despite I Own Britain's Best Home being trailered like crazy on Five at the moment, we couldn't find out much about it (they are adopting the Channel 4 tactic of not updating their website until after new programmes air, and stfu if you want to find out about them before they start to decide if they are worth watching).
We think the gist is that a bunch of people get to pose their houses up before the camera and we get to presumably laugh at their sumggery. We *think* there might also be some viewer vote action along the way. Sadly, we suspect the crazy house boat people from the last series of Grand Designs won't be featuring.
PRISON! My Name is Earl, Channel 4, 10.00pm
Well, this is a turn up for the books. After series two of My Name is Earl turned up a gazillion years after series one, we are quite surprised that series three has turned up so comparatively quickly. We're not complaining. We like this show a lot, and what with the writers' strike and all, there has been a dearth of US comedy on our screens, and seeing as Channel Four don't seem that inclined to show much home-grown comedy either at the moment, this is doubly welcome.
Last time we saw Earl he took Joy's place at her theft trial, and in this opening two-parter (part two next week! What sort of nonsense is this, Channel 4!), he is in jail. We presume some how he will get out next week, no doubt through a series of karma-riffic komedy kapers.
We have heard a few rumours that this opening episode isn't quite up to the usual standards of the series. We hope that a) that isn't true, or b) if it is, that it's just a blip. Thursdays have not been all that funny since Lead Balloon and Buzzcocks ended, and we could do with something to take their place.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Rag and funnybone
TRAGIC! The Curse of Steptoe, BBC Four, 9.00pm Labels: BBC Four, The Curse of Steptoe, TV
The idea of there being great sadness behind great comedy is not exactly a new one. but it does rather make you think. Will we be watching drama documentaries in twenty years time, telling us how Mitchell and Webb secretly hated each other? Behind the scenes recreations recounting how all of the sketches in Little Miss Jocelyn were created in a haze of drink and drugs? A hard-hitting documentary pointing out how Ricky Gervais really wasn't very funny, The Office aside? Actually, we'd probably quite enjoy that last one.
Anyway, in the lack of any hard factual evidence to back up any of our above assertions (although this being the internet, facts are always secondary to a good old-fashioned rumour, aren't they?), for the time being we're making do with BBC Four's series of dramas focusing on some tragic stories of comedy legends that do have a basis in reality, kicking off tonight with Steptoe and Son, exploring the fraught relationship between the show's stars in real life.
In some alarmingly good casting, Jason Isaacs is Harry H. Corbett and Phil Davis is Wilfrid Brambell, and perhaps we're just a little overtired, but there were points where we looked at the promo pictures and couldn't tell if they were from the drama or the original series. Also noteworthy in the casting department is Torchwood's Burn Gorman as Ray Galton, one half of the legendary writing partnership Galton & Simpson. Frankly, if watching the show is even half as exciting as reading the cast list, we're going to need to watch it lying in a darkened room with a chilled eye mask and some soothing music playing in the background.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Monday, March 17, 2008
Cooking up a storm
FOOD! Great British Menu, BBC Two, 6.30pm Labels: BBC Two, BBC2, Channel 4, food, Great British Menu, Hollyoaks, TV
Well, about bloody time. After all that schedule mucking about with Come Dine With Me and Masterchef, cookery finally returns to its rightful home of 6.30pm, with series three of Great British Menu. Whilst this series will never top the highlight of being a competition to prepare a feast for the Queen (and later being pwned by Her Maj on Monarchy: The Royal Family at Work), it is usually entertaining nonetheless.
The saga of Jake's descent continues tonight (remember when he was merely a loveable mother killer?) after Friday's suicide/child murder attempt. Is he dead, or like all bad horror movie villains, will he live to see another day? The horror movie angle Hollyoaks has adopted with this story has actually been quite effective, with several jumps and jolts along the way. What it has utterly failed to do, however, is treat mental illness or bereavement with any sympathy whatsoever. But this IS Hollyoaks so we don't know why we'd expect anything different.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Sunday, March 16, 2008
After skates
BOLERO! Dancing on Ice: The Final Skate-Off, ITV1, 7.00pm Labels: Dancing on Ice, ITV1, reality TV, TV
Perhaps it's just us, but it feels like this series has gone on for a few thousand years. Indeed, we're not entirely sure we can remember a time when Dancing on Ice wasn't on. It scarcely even feels like that scandalous early elimination of Sarah Greene was in the same series that we're still watching. Which is odd, because this hasn't been on any longer than, say, Strictly Come Dancing, and indeed it's been on significantly less time than your average series of The X Factor. Perhaps the issue is that on those shows, the contestants have to straddle different genres, be they of song or dance, whereas here it's just more ice dancing, every week, with a new move, or occasionally PROPS. Not that we don't enjoy it, but it gets a little samey after a while.
Nonetheless, we are excited for the final, especially since Gareth Gates fell at the final hurdle last week. We're not being unkind, and it's not that we don't like him as a person, but we always found his routines a little boring (although it was fun to watch Maria grimace every time he made a jovial comment about how well they got on together). We assumed there'd be some kind of national outrage over his unexpectedly early ouster, if only so the tabloids could nickname the whole affair "Garethgate", but if that happened, we missed it. We'd even put our necks on the line to say that we think the right three couples are in the final: plucky upstart Suzanne Shaw, hard-working but ultimately doomed Zaraah Abrahams, and presumably pre-ordained winner Chris "we're not worthy" Fountain.
Tonight there will be flying, there will be the Bolero, there will presumably be death-defiance if Suzanne has any say in the matter, and there will doubtless be floods of tears from judge Karen, who's been surprisingly restrained this series, at least in emotional outburst terms, so we can only assume she's planning to let it all out tonight. We can only hope poor Nicky Slater in the adjacent seat has remembered to bring his pac-a-mac and umbrella. And don't forget that the team over at Bitching on Ice will be covering the whole shebang in detail from start to finish.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Consuming Passions
JESUS JONES! The Passion, BBC One, 8.00pm Labels: BBC One, BBC Three, BBC1, BBC3, Gavin and Stacey, jesus, The Passion, TV
RUTH JONES! Gavin and Stacey, BBC Three, 9.00pm
We wonder if God* is somehow looking down on lowculture at the moment. With I'd Do Anything last night and the imminent return of The Apprentice, Desperate Housewives, My Name Is Earl, Pulling, Eurovision and Doctor Who, and Gavin and Stacey also returning tonight, we seem to be blessed with telly abundance. So we thought we'd return the favour and also plug Jesus' programme, The Passion.
Yet another dramatisation of the last few days of the life of Jesus may not sound like perfect LC-fare, we grant you. Especially as it has all that betrayal and blood and religion and crucifixion and whatnot in it. But it still might interest you for the following reasons: 1. It is stripped across several nights, Bleak House stylee to be played out more of a soapy-drama. 2. It is on early enough to not be the gore-fest that The Passion of the Christ was. 3. It stars Prime Minister Harriet Jones (aka Penelope Wilton) as Jesus' mum, with James Nesbitt as Pilate and Tom Ellis, Dean Lennox Kelly and Paul Nicholls among the disciples. And OK, you probably know the story and the ending, but it will be interesting to see if, and how, the Beeb can make it feel new and captivating. Of course, one member of team LC had to bring the whole thing down to a wholly unbiblical level by suggesting some of the casting might mean it is also suitable for certain unwholesome pursuits (must...resist...Palm Sunday...jokes). We suggest a few Hail Marys (Maries?) and a couple of rounds of The Lord's Prayer for that young man instead.
Now onto matters of an altogether more serious nature. We loved Gavin and Stacey well before all those bandwagon-jumping awards people. And thus we are rather chuffed to see it back. And yes it IS heartwarming, but yes it is also funny with it. So that makes it just right in our book. Since the last series, Matthew Horne, James Corden and Ruth Jones have become sort-of household names (even if everyone describes them as 'that fat one and that thin one who do Big Brother's Big Mouth and all that other stuff' and 'her who played Myfanway, you know'). Joanna Page has stayed somewhat in the sidelines, which is kind of nice, as she hasn't sullied our image of her as the sweet serial engagee, (think Darren Day but nice, And a girl. And not sleazy.) Stacey.
Last time we saw our Welsh/Essex friends, Gavin and Stacey had just married, Nessa had discovered she was pregnant with (we presume) Smithy's baby and Stacey's brother had a grudge against Uncle Bryn for something we have yet to discover. So even though the central couple got together, engaged and married during series one, there is plenty of other stuff to set up new storylines with. All the usual supporting cast are present and correct for this series: Alison Steadman, Rob Brydon, Julia Davis, Larry Lamb, who has just been cast as Archie Mitchell, dad of Samantha Janus and the other one in EastEnders, and Melanie Walters, last seen playing Elliot's slightly deranged mum with the obsession for keeping the Welsh race pure in Hollyoaks. We can't quite work out if bringing elements of their soapy alter egos' lives into this show would be a work of genius or not.
What we do know is that this double bill will be the greatest thing on BBC Three since, ooh, Raiders of the Lost Ark which precedes it.
*Or the gods, or a higher being, or the force, or fate, or, in the style of Richard Dawkins, 'nothing, you ignorant fools. And stop being happy about wasting your lives watching meaningless telly drivel while you're at it. Oh, and Nick? You'll go blind.'
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Nancy, boys
SWINDLE! I'd Do Anything, BBC One, 7.30pm Labels: Andrew Lloyd Webber, BBC One, BBC1, child labour, I'd Do Anything, TV
Saturday nights haven't been the same since Lee Mead, Daniel Boys and co got themselves a whole bunch of nice West End jobs (and Seamus got to appear in, ahem, a Michael Jackson tribute show). And whilst several LC members have enjoyed seeing the gents tread the boards, we have been missing the cruel spectacle wonderful thrill of choosing a New West End Leading Lady or Man (TM) and seeing the losers cruelly serenaded on their way out. Though 'So Long, Farewell' and 'Close Every Door' are going to take some beating, particularly the ace coat removing gesture the boys had to go through.
So naturally we were all very excited when I'd Do Anything was announced. OK, certain members of the forum were a little unimpressed that there would be no male talent to drool over, but that disappointment was quelled by the knowledge that not only would we see a group of ladies competing to be Nancy, we'd get to crush the hope of dozens of stage school brats as we chose the Olivers. When it was announced that Cameron Mackintosh would take over from orange David Ian and Betty Turpin's son as the theatre bod, Barry Humphries would join the panel and Zoe Tyler wouldn't be there, expectations grew all the higher.
Unfortunately, last week, it was revealed that the public would not have a role in voting for the children, and Andrew and Cameron would be doing all that stuff themselves. Boooo! We can't think why. After all, letting under-16s onto the recent series of The X Factor was such a spectacular success (*cough*).
The forums erupted in a blaze of fury at this announcement:
'Not only are they denying us child labour, they're now taking away our viewer vote. Do they not want tears?' - Muinimula
'Well what's the fucking point of having the Oliver quest then?' - Sparkle
'Bloody hell, weeping ten year old stage school brats was the only reason I was going to tune in. If you're not casting Oliver in Oliver, then who cares anyway?' - Jetsetwilly
Never mind, people, we're sure there'll be plenty of chance to vent your spleen and indulge in some Barrowman/Van Outen bashing in the chatroom tonight. But be warned, at times like this it can be standing room only in there...
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Friday, March 14, 2008
Gail force
PERIL! Coronation Street, ITV1, 7.30 & 8.30pm Labels: Coronation Street, ITV1, TV
We've come to the conclusion that staircases in soap operas are generally only there for symbolic purposes, since the vast majority of soap houses do not appear to have anything even remotely resembling a functional upstairs floor. Therefore it is deeply, deeply foolish for a soap character to make a point of doing anything on the stairs; it demonstrates utter genre blindness, because it inevitably means they're set to fall down them at any moment. If only they watched as many soaps as we do, they'd be aware of this.
Tonight it's the turn of Gail to take a tumble earthwards, having been rumbled by David for her part in Tina's termination of her demon spawn. Given that David has been a little bit on edge, to put it mildly, ever since discovering that he was almost terminated himself back when he was a foetus, this is exactly the worst thing for the ticking teenage time bomb to find out right now, so Gail gets an unwitting but violent shove for her trouble. This is why you should always have such confrontations on a nice level and soft-carpeted part of the living room.
The news of Gail's fall rather took us by surprise, not particularly because of the accident itself, but in terms of our reaction to it; we found ourselves feeling rather sad, since we're in the extremely odd position of having grown quite fond of Gail lately. David, sadly, does not share our feelings and chooses to panic and run off, leaving his mum for dead. Tsk. It's unlikely she actually is dead, of course, because that's the sort of thing we would all have known about months in advance, but we'll be tuning in tonight to see the dramatic fallout nonetheless.
If anyone's interested, we'll be having a lowculture whip-round later, in the hope of raising enough money to buy Gail a nice bungalow. Please give generously.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Thursday, March 13, 2008
The devil makes work for Idol (stage)hands
NEW SET! American Idol, ITV2, 8.00pm Labels: American Idol, ITV2, TV
How peculiar - we'd assumed that the Idol-on-Thursdays thing was temporary, for the auditions, at first. Then we assumed it would be just while the semi-finals were on, to save trying to screen everything until the wee hours of Saturday morning. And yet, what fuckery is this? ITV2 are carrying it on right the way through to the competition proper, with the main performance show on Thursday and the results on a Friday. Not that we object to getting the main show a day sooner than we're used to, since we're usually champing at the bit by this point anyway, but it does rather play havoc with our tradition of coming back from work on a Friday night, ordering a takeaway and collapsing on the sofa for an excess of American Idol. Nonetheless, we must learn to adjust.
There are many things to be excited about on Top 12 night (which is tonight, by the way):
- After aeons of trying, the producers have finally secured the rights to the Lennon/McCartney back catalogue. Um, yay?
- There's a new set, which is apparently so elaborate that it only just fits into the studio; the hardworking tech people have done their utmost to get it in and working to a punishing deadline, and apparently are now fretting how they're going to get it out again for the Grand Finale in May, which is held elsewhere.
- Season five runner up (and lowculture favourite) Katharine McPhee is appearing on tomorrow's results show, having been somewhat snubbed last season
- Someone always forgets the lyrics at this point every year - in season five Melissa McGhee ended up singing "hope my redeliction nishes" to Stevie Wonder's 'Lately', and last year Brandon Rogers and Haley Scarnato fell victim to marblemouth disease. Where will the virus strike next?
Obviously we don't get a say in the voting, but that doesn't mean we don't get a say in who sucks and who rocks. And handily, the lovely and talented forum poster al has compiled this cut-out-and-keep* guide to the Top 12 of 2008, where we've added a few thoughts of our own:
"The auditions, the Hollywood juncture, and the ever-peculiar Top 24 episodes have been and gone, and we’re down to the live finals. And the final list has thrown up a few surprises, or more fittingly, surprise omissions. Mind you, Danny Noriega’s finger-snapping and Valley Girl cadence were never going to trigger dialling-induced RSI around the Bible Belt, whilst Asia’h Epperson frankly paid the price for displaying the revered American institution of nonsensical forename apostrophe use normally reserved for Ricki Lake guests.
So what are we left with? According to Ryan Seacrest, the most talented Top 12 in the history of American Idol. Meh. What does he know? Hey, fancy a significantly less obsequious rundown of who to put your money on..?
Ramiele Malubay
Aiming to go one better than fellow Filipina finalist Jasmine Trias (you remember her, all Hawaiian flowers and twee), Ramiele’s quite the belter, and more importantly, managed to get Simon Cowell on side early on. But then again, so did Raquelle from Hope, and it’ll be a dowdy day in Sinitta’s wardrobe before we hear from that one again.
David Cook
Pseudo-rocker whose inexplicably thick neck makes him appear deceptively fat. Having already gotten Cowell’s back up with a textbook “I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing this for America! Yeah!! U-S-A! U-S-A!” retort, it looked unlikely that David’s brand of watery McRawk would take him very far, until a surprisingly decent take on Lionel Richie’s 'Hello'. No, really. (Though he really needs to finish following Chris Daughtry's example and get rid of that awful combover by shaving his damn head altogether. - Steve)
David Hernandez
Barman and go-go boy (if the internet is to be believed – and when has it ever been unreliable?) from Arizona, it seems Middle America is experiencing a second dose of Antonella Barba Syndrome and are up in arms at the mere idea of previous nudity. Nonetheless, it’s difficult to detract from an admirable confidence and impressive vocals (though the overplucked eyebrows go some way to managing it).
Brooke White
Wholesome, virginal Disney princess with a substantial talent. As happy to bang away at a piano or strum a guitar as she is trilling like a nightingale, Brooke musically bridges the gap between Karen Carpenter and Alicia Keys. And as her in-show USP was that she’s never seen a porno, she’s got the Christian vote if nothing else. A strong contender for the Top 3. (And for what it's worth, she's my favourite contestant this year, which means that she almost certainly will not win. - Steve)
Carly Smithson
Tattoo parlour proprietor from Cork, who has had America’s gums flapping over the fact she released a major label album in 2001, a chunk of which went on to be recycled and caterwauled by Kelly Clarkson. Apparently, this also means she’s been shagging all three judges, founded freemasonry, and shot JFK. Still, ‘controversy’ aside, Carly displays the most impressive pipes in the contest. Cailín maith!
Chikezie
Serial auditionee who finally made it to a stage where anyone begins to give a crap. Powerful voice and killer stage presence are nullified by atrocious velvet suits, and that’s before you even consider Simon Cowell’s ongoing habit of calling him “Jacuzzi”. Accidentally, of course, and not for the purposes of contrived televisual hilarity.
Kristy Lee Cook
Dainty country ‘n’ western songbird with little else of note. Simon has already decreed Kristy will be hard pushed to make it beyond the Top 10, so we shouldn’t have to endure her quarter-arsed LeAnn Rimes schtick for much longer. If only the same could be said about the blubbery scutter bellowing 'Love Machine' in the Chicago Town sponsorship bumpers.
Amanda Overmyer
Somewhere between Amy Winehouse and Janis Joplin as performed by Cheryl Baker, nurse Amanda boasts a seasoned rock growl, comedy scat vocals, clumsy stage-trudging and hair like a petrified skunk. By far and away the most unique contestant, but America would be more likely to deport Oprah than crown Amanda their next Idol. (And I'm waiting for just the right occasion to crack an "Overmyer dead body!" joke. - Steve)
David Archuleta
Channelling a particularly squidgy compound of early Gareth Gates and a Labrador puppy, make way for a nation of females reaching screenwards to pinch his cheeks. In fairness, he also possesses one of the competition’s best voices, so expect a landslide victory followed by a lukewarm second album and a lengthy spell in drug rehab.
Michael Johns
While Carly flies the Irish flag, the considerably-gifted Michael Johns is the second contestant threatening to be a non-American American Idol. Hailing from Australia, Randy’s already likened him to Michael Hutchence. We’d have dismissed this as a lazy comparison relating solely to geography, though given it came off the back of a Simple Minds cover, it seems Paula’s been sharing her sweeties around the judging table.
Jason Castro
Dreadlocked muso who’s previously snuck into the spotlight as co-bumper-of-uglies with tweenage Lilith Fair fodder and MTV reality urchin, Cheyenne Kimball. Jason certainly displays a sizeable talent behind the mic, yet appears incapable of stringing a sentence together. Still, seeing Ryan Seacrest try to cope with the awkwardness of a one-word answer guarantees a few chuckles.
Syesha Mercado
Claims to be an actress, though a glimpse at her CV suggests she’s been as much of an actress as Jordan has a recording artist. Nevertheless, Florida native Syesha boasts a genial quirk, a decent pair of lungs, and one hell of a barnet. Additionally, she’s already got a hefty online army of supporters calling themselves “Faneshas”, which may well be the most gag-inducing name for a collective since “Fearne & Reggie”."
*lowculture accepts no responsibility for damage caused to your monitor or other technological equipment by foolishly attempting to cut out a page of the internet. We mean, really.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
It's a nice day for a Welsh wedding
NUPTIALS! Torchwood, BBC Two, 9.00pm
We've got to hand it to Torchwood - they've set the bar sky-high this series in terms of the guest stars they can attract. We had James Marsters in the series opener, stealing the episode right out from underneath the main cast, Alan Dale a few weeks back, Richard Briers last week, but this week we think they've hit the jackpot - Nerys Hughes as Rhys's mum. Nerys Hughes! Awesome.
Also awesome: this week's episode. It's Gwen and Rhys's wedding, and it should come as no surprise to anyone who's been following their somewhat bumpy relationship that it doesn't exactly go smoothly. In any normal TV show this might mean someone marching in to stop the wedding, or the revelation of a massive ungodly secret in the middle of the ceremony, and...well, we do get both of those, pretty much, but since this is Torchwood, there's also the small matter of Gwen being inseminated with alien spawn. Cue a very knowing scene in which Gwen protests that the alien only bit her, and Owen and Jack exchange disbelieving looks, since they know only too well Gwen's habit of banging anything with a pulse, alien or otherwise. Possibly.
In a pleasant change of pace from the dark, brooding, hanging-around-on-rooftops tone of the past couple of episodes, this one's played for laughs for the most part, and it gives Eve Myles a chance to display some impressive comic chops (her reaction when Rhys reveals that Owen's been showing him how to use Torchwood's alien artifacts is priceless), as well as Nerys Hughes referring to Jack as "an American with no sense of timing or fashion" (she's clearly been following the show very closely), Tosh being cocooned with a horny best man, and Rhys punching Jack in the face. It reminds us of Buffy's better comedy episodes (interestingly, the one it reminded us of the most was season four's 'Something Blue', and this episode is called 'Something Borrowed'. Coincidence?) - for our money, it's the most entertaining episode they've done since 'They Keep Killing Suzie', and given how much we loved that episode, that's a very hearty recommendation indeed.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Funny Business
SRALAN! Sport Relief Does The Apprentice, BBC1, 9.00pm Labels: BBC One, BBC1, charity, Sport Relief Does The Apprentice, The Apprentice, TV
We are sooooooo excited about this we can barely contain ourselves. In the name of Sport Relief (we were going to put call '0800 whatever' here, but the BBC website doesn't appear to have a number for the donation hotline on yet), ten celebrities get to play business with Sralan Sugar and get their egos well and truly deflated by Nick and Margaret in the process, before one of them, presumably during Friday night's telethon extravanganza, gets fired.
They'll have to go something to beat last year's stonking Comic Relief Does the Apprentice which featured Rupert Everett throwing a hissy fit and leaving, Trinny Woodall calling the whole world to help out, Cheryl Tweedy Cole being ruddy marvellous and Sralan struggling to only choose one to fire out of Piers Morgan and Alistair Campbell. But the format is always telly gold, so we are hoping for an early highlight of 2008 here.
The line-up this year may not be *quite* as star-studded as last, but it should still be entertaining. The boys' team consists of reality TV veterans Phil Tuffnell and Hardeep Singh Koli (who was ROBBED by Matt Dawson in Celebrity Masterchef), former Sun man Kelvin Mackenzie, slightly faded TV presenter Nick Hancock and Cheeky-Girl-lover and MP Lembit Opik.
The girls' team consists of token telly businesswoman Jacqueline Gould (we only hope Sralan will give her a bit of a ribbing over ITV's late, unlamented, begging show, Fortune), former George Clooney flame (and, er, model?) Lisa Snowdon, Claire Balding (who is always a little school-teacher ish and therefore will rule at this kind of thing) and LC faves Louise Redknapp and Kirstie Allsop (somewhat unexpected of Channel 4 to let her do this when they apparently have always refused permission for her to do Strictly Come Dancing, according to some Kirstie interview we read once. Maybe we should start a Facebook group for her or something).
Going on those team line-ups, we assume that the boys do not have a hope in hell.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Jaime (Moi Non Plus)
RAINY! Bionic Woman, ITV2, 9.00pm Labels: Bionic Woman, ITV2, TV
Trying to talk up this remake of the classic 1970s sci-fi series isn't easy, considering that by the time it arrives on our screens, it has already been cancelled by NBC in America following disappointing ratings. And given all the hype by the British media when our very own Michelle Ryan, formerly Zoe Slater in EastEnders, of course, landed the lead role, this gave a perfect opportunity for the always pro-women's lib Daily Mail to write an article implying that the entire failure of the series was Michelle Ryan's fault, without ever saying that in as many words. (We'll admit, it must take talent of a kind to write such an utterly disingenuous article as that while simultaneously repressing the urge to punch yourself in the face. Perhaps they all have bionic arms too - it would probably make such a feat easier.)
Having had a sneaky preview of the first episode, we'll admit it has its flaws, but Michelle Ryan is not one of them: she copes well with a fairly thankless lead role (prior to going bionic, Jaime Sommers displays season seven Buffy levels of sulky self-loathing), and once you've adjusted to the accent and stopped expecting her to bellow "You ain't my mum!" at Jessie Wallace in the next scene, she's a surprisingly assured leading lady. The problem is more that the show seems incredibly dated - all of the Creepy Non-Specific Scientific Institute scenes read like something out of Dark Angel, although thankfully minus the hip hop slang. And unfortunately, there really aren't many pages of the Big Book o' Sci-Fi Clichés that are left unturned - we cringed as we watched Jaime zipping through some woodland on her bionic legs while the camera cut to a precocious child in the back of a car driven by an uninterested parent, which was the cue for the old "Mommy, mommy! Look at that fast running lady!" "Now dear, what have I told you about making up stories?" exchange. (Also slightly questionable is the way the show follows this up with the moppet smiling and saying that she "just thought it was cool that a girl could do that", suggesting the show has delusions of feminist relevance.)
It's not a total write-off, mind - the last 15 minutes or so are pretty fun, as Jaime gets to grips with her bionic bits during a rooftop battle (at night, in the rain, of course - according to this show it never stops raining in San Francisco) with the first bionic woman - played by Battlestar Galactica's Katee Sackhoff, who steals every scene she's in as the unhinged prototype. There's probably not too much point in developing an attachment to the show, for obvious reasons, but it's still worth a look. At least by watching you can pretend you're sticking two fingers up at the aforementioned sneaky tabloid, which seems like reason enough to us.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Waterloo, couldn't escape if I wanted to
EDUCATION! Waterloo Road, BBC One, 8.00pm Labels: BBC One, BBC1, TV, Waterloo Road
This series of Waterloo Road has gone down rather well on the forums, so we thought it only right to give it a bit of front page space this week. Over the past trillion weeks we have seen all kinds of exciting action - Teenage marriage and divorce! Potential pregnancy! Mums WHO ARE DEAD! The wonder of Asperger's girl and the Bitch Twins! Zaarah Abrahams becoming famous for being in Dancing on Ice before her character started on the show! The dead baby skeleton story (which was really quite touching actually)! Paedophile rapist supply teachers! Neil Morrissey's son and wife turning up and going away again! The old head quitting in a scandal! The new head also being involved in a scandal! Steph and Coke Zero being awesome in the school musical! A random asylum seeker storyline last week with no build-up and presumably no follow-up! If you haven't been watching, see what amazingness you have missed! (Apart from Mika's eco-warrior plot. That was shite).
Tonight's episode centres on two characters: teaching assistant Davina, and everyone's favourite incompetent slutty French teacher, Steph Haydock. We especially love Steph because we had a slutty languages teacher just like her when we were at secondary school.
Davina's plot sees her caught in the classic love triangle between boring but stable regular cast member Tom and randomly-returning-and-also-a-bit-boring-but-fitter former head Jack. (It's hard to believe, but at the start of this third series, way back in Autumn 2007, Jack was still head of the school) Oh, and in a storyline that in no way echoes former deputy Andrew moving overseas to teach and asking Kim to go with him last series, Jack is moving overseas to teach and asks Davina to go with him. We don't know who she will choose, but seeing as they have established there isn't a lot of chemistry between her and Tom, and they have got Jason Merrels back for seemingly just this episode, we have a fair idea.
Steph's storyline is classic Steph. Funding for her upcoming language lab is withdrawn, so she goes into full-on seduction mode. We like.
Apparently next week is the last in the series, though, so expect various plots for cliffhangers to be set up this week and expect next week to go out with a bang. We're assuming the rumours about this being a possible Neighbours subsitute were unfounded, but now it's hit its stride and become Holby meets Footballer's Wives and especially now Grange Hill is no more, we wouldn't mind if they were actually true...
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Medical O'Mara-cle
ICON! Doctors, BBC One, 1.40pm Labels: BBC One, doctors, exciting guest appearances, if you only ever watch one episode of whatever programme this preview is about in your life make it this one, Kate O'Mara, medicine, TV
Kate O'Mara (!!!) is in Doctors today.
That is all.
By Nick :: Post link
:: ::
1 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Pop Idle
COMPETITION! Rock Rivals, ITV1, 9.00pm Labels: ITV1, Rock Rivals, TV
ITV1's new drama hope opens with an impressively convincing take-off of The X Factor, with one glaring omission: in around three minutes of show-within-a-show airtime, none of the contestants mention a dead parent, even once. You'd think they'd get such basic detail right, wouldn't you? Thankfully, order is quickly restored when that week's rejected contestant turns out to be a blind man singing a mediocre version of 'You Raise Me Up', though the Louis Walsh-alike (whose main act is Irish, you'll note) doesn't get a chance to say "the poor boy's blind!"
And so begins the series that we hope will fill the gaping hole in our lives that was left by the axing of Footballers' Wives. It's ballsy of ITV to risk another TV-will-eat-itself drama so soon after Moving Wallpaper and Echo Beach debuted to indifferent viewing figures, but at least this series comes with the pedigree (well, that's what we're calling it) of being from the makers of our aforementioned WAG-focusing favourite, and sets its cap squarely in the high camp arena from the word go. Case in point: one of the characters is called Jinx Jones. Another is called Sunday Gorgeous. And another is called Angel Islington. So if you ever spent any time in the company of Tanya Turner and co, however brief, you'll know what to expect from this.
It gets off to a good start, although this opening perhaps isn't batshit enough for our tastes - the big set piece involves Karina (Michelle Collins, doing her best Sharon Osbourne impression but letting the side down by the fact that her face actually moves) driving husband Mal's (Sean Gallagher) prized Ferrari into his swimming pool, but it falls a little flat, to be honest, and really could have done with a crazy nurse having sex with a comatose patient in the background, or perhaps someone liberally applying fake tan to a newborn. Although there is one moment that suggests a sick brilliance to come, involving show-within-a-show contestant Bethany doing something rather drastic on live television. We won't spoil it for you, but it does suggest that the producers haven't lost their sense of watercooler moments.
Also bubbling away nicely in the background is a subplot involving a delusional gay fan of hottie contestant Luke (another reality failure: all of these people are too attractive to be on an X Factor equivalent), who sits and eats tinned spaghetti hoops while talking to a blow-up doll with Luke's face attached. Cree-pee. Oh, and for those who miss the formidable agent Hazel from Footballers' Wives, watch out for the admirable Alison Newham as Bethany's pushy stage mum.
It's early days, of course, but the initial signs here are promising. We warmed to Crazy Bethany and Fierce Sunday in the opening episode, and forgave Michelle Collins's woodenness on the grounds that at least 50% of the cast of Footballers' Wives was made of balsa at any given moment, and rather than hampering our enjoyment, it often increased it. And apparently we get to decide who wins the show-within-the-show at the end of the series, which would be cool if we weren't secretly fearful that the eventual winner might be as rubbish as Leon Jackson. Please God, never again.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Tyrant Banks
FIERCE! America's Next Top Model, Living, 8.00pm Labels: America's Next Top Model, Living, TV
WARNING: We will be discussing, at length, the elimination from last night's episode of America's Next Top Model, so if you haven't seen it yet, or were planning to watch tonight and don't wish to be spoiled, don't read beyond this paragraph because we're going to give everything away. Okay? Don't say we didn't warn you. But do make sure you come back and read once you've seen the episode, because we're about to get on our soapbox about this and it will be a matter of great importance.
Ready? Okay.
So, if you're still reading, we'll assume that you watched last night, and you saw Top Model history in the making, where despite being the girl in the bottom two who got given a "fo-to" and a chance to continue, poor doomed Ebony told Tyra to shove her stupid-ass modelling competition sideways (okay, perhaps not quite in those terms, but wouldn't that have been great?) and for her trouble found herself on the receiving end of a ferocious Tyrade of the kind not seen since that time in cycle four when Tiffany had the bare-faced cheek not to cry when she got eliminated.
You want to see that again, right? Of course you do:
If there was one thing we learned from that clip, it's that Tyra does not like it when anyone implies that winning America's Next Top Model may not be the most important thing in the world, so perhaps Ebony shouldn't have been surprised by Tyra's reaction. It's interesting that in a season where the show fell over itself to appear understanding and sympathetic towards Heather and her Asperger's, they decided to completely ignore Ebony's obvious body image and self-esteem issues, and chalked them up to a "stank attitude" that needed a "high-fashion ass-whoopin'."
Indeed, you might argue that a girl with obvious self-image problems is probably better off not trying to be a model, and you'd have a point, which is probably why Ebony decided she'd be better off leaving the show. But Tyra disagreed: "I don't think this is about modelling," she snipped. "You know what I think? I think this is about you not being able to handle criticism. This is about you not liking it when people aren't telling you you're pretty. And the most unattractive thing in the world to me is a quitter. So with that, you can go." So presumably we can look forward to some kind of female empowerment special on Tyra's car-crash of a talk show, where she explains that it's far better to stick at something that is potentially psychologically damaging, than to leave while you still have your head together, and be that most satanic of all peoples: a Quitter. We've got to say: our love for this show has led us to handwave some seriously iffy mixed messages while it's been on the air, but this one was a step too far.
(Also, were we alone in noticing the irony of Tyra yelling at Ebony that she "can't handle criticism" when Tyra's meltdown seemed to be prompted purely by Ebony noting that Tyra's beloved show might be kind of stupid?)
The funny thing is, we weren't even especially big fans of Ebony (it's Jenah ftw, as far as we're concerned). We just felt the need to stand up for someone who was getting such a hatchet job at the hands of the show's editors, because seriously? That little montage at the end, showing Ebony's audition video, presumably in the hope of filling the audience with a righteous fury that this ungrateful girl dared to trick Tyra into letting her on the show when she didn't really want to be a model? All that made us feel was that this show needs a reality check. Guys, she quit. She didn't die. Enough with the morbid montage. We're not that easily led.
And seriously: when lowculture, of all sites, is telling you that you've officially crossed the boundary into being unforgivably tacky and crass, that probably means you have a serious problem. Maybe someone needs an inTyravention. (Sorry.)
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
2 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Monday, March 03, 2008
Textual identity
WORD! Murder Most Famous, BBC Two, 1.30pm Labels: BBC Three, BBC Two, Mrs In-Betweeny, murder, Murder Most Famous, transsexuals, TV
BIRD! Mrs In-Betweeny, BBC Three, 9.00pm
'They' say that everyone has a book inside them, and celebrities are apparently no exception. BBC Two gives its daytime schedule a bit of a shake every day this week with Murder Most Famous, in which "queen of the psychological thriller" (thanks Wikipedia, and wherever you got it from!) Minette Walters tutors six celebrities in the art of writing a crime fiction novel. The celebs complete daily writing assignments, research the police procedures (paperwork) behind the investigations and meet with "real criminals and victims" (presumably, if we're talking about murder, they mean the victims' families) along the way, and Minette uses her expert knowledge of the methods of murder to quite literally (not literally!) "bump off" the most mediocre writer at the end of each show.
As a species, it's fair to say that celebrities know as much about the tormented psyche and complicated psychological states of a potential murderer as anyone, so it'll be interesting to see how this plays out. How many of them will create heroes with exactly the same personality traits, haunted by the memories of the same adolescent traumas, and of exactly the same physical type (or basically the same but two inches taller) as themselves? And how many of these heroes will have names just two vowels and a consonant away from their own? The hopeful-writer roster includes Sherrie 'Soap and chat' Hewson, Angela 'Soap and Postman Pat' Griffin, Matt 'Rogue Traders and leather' Allwright, Brendan 'Strictly Come Dancing' Cole, Diarmuid 'Gardens!' Gavin and Kelvin 'Twat, former Sun editor and no stranger to creating fiction' MacKenzie, with the most promising writer at the end of the week having the opportunity for their crime novel to be published by PanMacmillan as a 'Quick Read' (don't pull that face, they're busy people) for World Book Day. Authorly good!
Over on BBC Three (future! modern!) there's another one of those hour-long drama pilots that may or may not spawn a series - we simply DO NOT KNOW - with ridiculously talented TV goddess Amelia 'Coronation Street, Brass Eye, Big Train, Jam, I'm Alan Partridge and State of Play, amongst many others, and currently doing a very good job as Alex Drake's mother in Ashes to Ashes as well, thank you very much for asking' Bullmore starring as the uncle-turned-aunt-turned-saviour of the recently-orphaned Winslow children as they struggle to cope with the remnants of their embarrassing family in the aftermath of their parents' deaths.
The initial signs for Mrs In-Betweeny look promising, with other welcome and female names in the cast list including Rebekah 'Pulling' Staton, Adjoa 'Oooh, lots of things, but mainly Casualty and Doctor Who' Andoh and Lisa 'We still haven't forgotten she was in Grange Hill' Hammond. Most thrillingly of all, it's written by Caleb Ranson, creator of ITV's wonderful, hugely-underrated and ill-fated soaptacular gem Night and Day. Obviously by those standards this would appear to be pretty normal fare, but when you've had a lengthy spell working with ghosts, Geishas, time-stopping strangers and virginity fairies, sometimes gender realignment, cosmetically-enhanced grannies and death by falling frozen urine are as good as a rest.
By Nick :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Mad for it
DRAMA! Mad Men, BBC Four, 10.00pm
Last week we mentioned that ITV1 is doing its darnedest to earn itself a name as the go-to spot for the most desirable US imports. We're not about to retract that (we may change our minds about things quite often, but perhaps not as often as that), but it's also worth mentioning that BBC Four has carved out quite the reputation for itself as a home for top quality, if slightly more niche, international imports. In 2006 we sang the praises of superlative Gallic police drama Spiral, and last year we got all excited about Flight of the Conchords, so this year we're all set to get thoroughly hot under the collar about Mad Men.
It's from one of the writers of The Sopranos, which will no doubt excite devotees of that show. On a more personal level, we never really took to that show, but we're liking the sound of this one nonetheless - it's set in the high-powered world of a Madison Avenue advertising agency in the 1960s, a land where the man with the slogan was king, and where the role of women was to sit at typewriters and look sexy, occasionally breaking from this routine to fetch someone a coffee. Though, obviously, looking at such a scenario through a lens of the impossibly liberal 21st century, the show will be taking an in-depth look at such obvious misogyny and its roots and effects, just in case you thought you might be able to get away without feeling any bourgeois guilt while watching.
It should be a bit more of a challenging watch than the usual Sunday diet of the likes of Dancing on Ice and Lark Rise to Candleford, but don't let that put you off - BBC Four has never let us down with an import yet. (Alternatively, if you are without digital TV, or prefer to keep your Sunday night viewing strictly crinoline-based, it's also being shown on BBC2 on Tuesday at 11.20pm.)
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Daydream believers
CHEERFUL! Hollyoaks Omnibus, Channel 4, 10.00am
CHOONFUL! Hollyoaks Special: Summer's Got a Secret, Channel 4, 2.05pm
So, Hollyoaks finally said goodbye to Summer and OB this week, and just in case you missed the episodes, we heartily commend this omnibus to you as something rather delightful. Don't believe us? Check out these user opinions:
'Today's episode was the most amazing, feel good TV ever. OB got the kind of ending that poor old Mandy deserved. It's not often a soap, especially such a shit one, makes me happy in such a simple way.' - Xenomaniac
'It was still very touching and I may have cried a bit. I also quite liked the manly hugging at the end.' - Sparkle
'Max and OB's Big Goodbye is LOVE.' - Joel
'Awww, that was proper lovely. Such a fitting sendoff for OB. Even the Birdseye Botherer managed not to be annoying'. - Steven
What we are saying is that you will regret it if you don't watch it NOW (or on channel 4+1 at 11.00, seeing as we are writing this rather late in the day). Thursday and Friday's episodes are less good (warning: Valentines! Boob theft anger! Rubbish Tranny! Silly drugz Plot! Jake and Nancy! Swimbint being self-righteous!) but they contain glimmers of the immense Barnesey/Plankton/Micksy love triangle so are not all bad.
And Channel 4 are spoiling us this afternoon with Summer's Got a Secret which follows LC fave Summer Strallen as she moves from the soap to star in The Sound of Music. Best of all, it doesn't even clash with Come Dine With Me today, as that is on later than usual (4.00pm, More4). The publicity shots even promise added Auntie Bonnie Langford! Result!
CHOC-FULL!Willie's Wonky Chocolate Factory, Channel 4, 9.00pm
Now, this is a curious one. Willie's Wonky Chocolate Factory follows entrepreneur (isn't everyone one of those these days?) Willie Harcourt-Cooze, who wants to launch his own chocolate business. Only this business isn't just any old chocolate business - he wants to own the first company since Cadbury's to grow its own chocolate as well as to manufacture and promote it.
Naturally, we are expecting thrills and spills along the way in a Trouble at the Top kind of way, and the title was too good a pun for Channel 4 to miss. We are expecting characters, challenges and all the usual stuff you get in these kind of one-off docs.
But wait a cocoa-bean-picking-minute! This isn't a one-off doc, it's a four-parter. That must mean the footage was so entertaining they couldn't contain it within just one hour. Whether it will stretch to four hours' worth of material remains to be seen, but we reckon it'll be worth giving a whirl anyway.
Labels: Channel 4, Hollyoaks, TV, Willie's Wonky Chocolate Factory
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
2 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Friday, February 29, 2008
Ice ice baby
BRAVERY! Ice Road Truckers, Five, 8.00pm Labels: Five, Ice Road Truckers, TV
If you're looking for something to watch on TV tonight, the first question we should be asking you is why are you not attending the great lowculture meet-up of 2008, eh? Although we suppose there are some acceptable reasons why you might not be there, such as being under house arrest, attending your own wedding, or possibly just living a little bit too far outside London for it to be a realistic possibility. If that's the case: sorry. Maybe next time, eh?
So, those of you unable to attend may need some form of televisual entertainment for tonight after all, in which case we'd like to recommend this: a quirkly little ob-doc that's made the transfer from the History Channel. We realise that sort of talk has probably already got a certain section of the audience running for the hills, but stick with us, because it's a good'un: the truckers in question transit supplies to diamond mines over deeply dodgy terrain, on what basically amounts to frozen lakes, which are supposed to support the weight of fucking great lorries. These people have got serious fucking balls, we don't mind telling you.
Obviously, any show of this nature stands and falls on the strength of its characters, and as you might expect, the sort of people who undertake a job of this nature tend to be a little on the idiosyncratic side. But they're very watchable, they tell it like it is, and they swear and rant with the same sort of ferocity as we do whenever we sit through one of Hollyoaks current drugs hell scenes (though sadly in an edited and censored pre-watershed sort of way). We can give it no heartier recommendation.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Barrack O-drama
MILITARY! Army Wives, Living, 8.00pm Labels: Army Wives, Drew Fuller, Living, TV
Before you get too excited, this isn't the near-mythical ITV series from the makers of Footballers' Wives set on an army base and starring Zoe Lucker and Jeremy Sheffield. Though the two series may have shared a working title at some point, the ITV one eventually got titled Bombshell and mired itself in some kind of broadcast limbo where it looks unlikely to ever be shown in the UK. So, is this alternative semi-namesake a similar sort of guilty pleasure bonkbuster? Well, it seems unlikely, since it originates from America's Lifetime network, most widely known for moving stories of people coming to terms with terminal illnesses. So why is it on our front page? Well, simple. Drew Fuller's in it.
Wait, who? You might well ask. Certain members of the lowculture team (okay, fine, it's just me, but I'm writing this entry and am embarrassing no one but myself, right?) have been maybe a little bit obsessed with Mr Fuller ever since he appeared on season six of Charmed as Piper's suspiciously swishy son from the future, Chris. And what started as a joke where we bought DVDs of any of the terrible B-movies we could find that he'd appeared in is now perhaps less of a joke and more of the sort of weird fixation that's been raising eyebrows left, right and centre (for those with untweezed monobrows, obviously).
Anyway, this is one of those projects where he's lamentably not playing a oft-shirtless teenager of questionable sexual orientation (seriously, you must see Voodoo Academy, it's hilariously awful), but we're sure it'll still be worth watching. It must be doing something right, after all - it was LIfetime's highest rating season premiere in history, and has been picked up for a second series. Other actors of note over whom we are fractionally less obsessed appearing in the show include NYPD Blue's Kim Delaney and Sterling K. Brown, aka Supernatural's batshit crazy vampire hunter Gordon. And while we probably can't expect anybody's boobs to catch fire or any babies to be smothered to death in fake tan, it might well end up being a guilty pleasure in a fluffy Grey's Anatomy, Oprah-recommended sort of a way.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
2 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
It doesn't get any tougher than this...
POSSIBLE SWIZZ! Masterchef Final, BBC Two, 8.00pm Labels: BBC Two, BBC2, food, Masterchef, TV
Oh Masterchef, we love you very much. We love the calamitous chocolate fondants. We love the wacky chefs who combine turnips with popping candy (we may exaggerate, but only a touch). We love the way Gregg makes that 'oooarrrgh' noise when he tastes a good pudding. We don't love the voiceover, but we'll let that pass for now. However, we have a very rocky relationship with your finals. We don't like to criticise; after all, you provide us with eight weeks of quality lead-up every year. But the climax of these eight weeks is, shall we say, a little less than satisfying.
Basically, John and Gregg always pick the WRONG PERSON, leaving such worthy contenders such as The Lovely Dean and The Lovely Hannah by the wayside in favour of the 'least likely to' out of the three finalists. Don't believe us? Check out the amount of complaints there were to the BBC (well, a few people wrote to Points of View, anyway) after the travesty of the 2006 final. And don't get us started on Matt Dawson smugging his way to winning Celebrity Masterchef that year. We don't forgive easily, so we approach tonight's final with a great deal of trepidation.
After a week of watching them mostly be a bit rubbish and occasionally be a bit awesome at various catering tasks, tonight our three finalists will be going to France in the first half, to work in 'some of the best restaurants in the world', then no doubt retuning to the Masterchef kitchen 'for one final challenge'. The decision, we can be sure John and Gregg will tell us, will be tougher than ever.
So who will win? For the uninitiated, Emily (aka 'Mud Pie Girl') is clearly the star of the show. She is cute, bubbly and creates all kinds of mad but tasty food. Gregg and John think she is awesome. She won't win. We like her, she is young, she is a woman and she has been fairly competent throughout. This will all count against her. (We know a woman allegedly won in 2005, but we didn't see that series, so we refuse to believe it).
Then we have James (aka 'Sideshow Bob'). We took an instant dislike to him in the first two rounds he was in, because he was so smug and smarmy (In later rounds he has actually proved to be quite a nice bloke but let's not let that get in the way of our initial snap judgements, eh?). We predicted from the start he'd probably win, but will he? We doubt it. He has been mostly competent and capable all the way through, and as we all know, it's the people that mess up all the way through and have a good final that win.
Our final, er, finalist is Johnny (aka 'Johnny'). A nice bloke, who has had the odd flash of genius, Johnny has still managed to make more mistakes than the others, receive less praise from Gregg and John in the early rounds than the others, but he is a bit older, he is a bloke and he has no doubt been on a 'journey'. Therefore, we predict Johnny will win.
Unless he attempts a chocolate fondant.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Dex appeal
SPLATTER! Dexter, ITV1, 10.35pm
We've got to hand it to ITV1 - when they set out to reposition themselves in the marketplace, they don't do things by halves. Admittedly, perhaps the first phase of the plan didn't go so brilliantly, since none of The Palace, Honest, Echo Beach or Moving Wallpaper are really doing the business, ratings-wise. Phase II, however, where they steal the crown that's been variously held by Five, Channel 4, Sky One and Living over the years as home of the best US imports, might just be more successful - and to prove they mean business, they've bought Dexter.
It's not an obvious choice for ITV1 - while it's not like they shy away from grim 'n' gory television, as anyone who watches Trial and Retribution, Cold Blood or any of their ilk will attest, but this show is another matter entirely. Even lowculture's normally cast-iron constitution was shaken up during the opening sequence in which the eponymous hero - oh, by the way, he just happens to be a serial killer - calmly murders a paedophile. Seriously folks: we know that it's not uncommon for US imports to end up in graveyard slots like this, but on this occasion there's a very good reason this show is on well after the watershed. It is not for the faint of heart.
And yet, even though there is quite the selection of scenes here that you may end up watching through your fingers, we still heartily recommend it after watching tonight's opening episode. Dexter makes for an astoundingly amiable sociopath - whenever he hasn't got his murderous game face on, he's nerdily spinning around in his office chair (he works, brilliantly, as a forensics expert specialising in blood splatter analysis) and bringing his colleagues donuts with a smile. And since he limits his serial killing to those who truly deserve it, it's not difficult to root for him. The moment that really set the scene for us was the point during one of his opening voiceovers where he explains that both of his parents are dead (though he has no apparent desire to apply for The X Factor, weirdly), before quickly adding irritably "no, I didn't kill them", as though thoroughly used to answering that question to the people who habitually sit in on his innermost thoughts.
We're big fans of the supporting cast in this show, too. Angel's Julie Benz is almost unrecognisable as Dexter's emotionally fragile girlfriend Rita, and our absolute favourite character thus far is Sergeant Doakes, who, as Dexter puts it, "in a building full of cops, all of whom supposedly have an insight into the human soul, is the only one who gets the creeps from me." And he's not especially reticent about showing it, either. Dude is awesome.
It's a great watch, but make sure you've got the stomach for it. And if this all sounds a little full-on for you, don't worry: Pushing Daisies was also on their shopping list. That's also awesome, and not quite so much with the gore. Just pies.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
An immaculate concept(ion)
EUREKA! American Inventor, Virgin 1, 9.00pm Labels: American Inventor, TV, Virgin 1
Last week we made the somewhat bold claim that Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles would revolutionise Virgin 1 and finally make it a must-watch channel. We're not planning to make quite such grand claims about this particular American import, but if you're a Dragon's Den fan who finds the series just lacks that necessary cutthroat competitive edge, perhaps this could be the show for you. Yes, you. With the hair.
Essentially the idea here is that a number of would-be inventors are selected by a panel of judges, including the always lean, always mean, occasional fat reducing grilling machine George Foreman and former Dragon Peter Jones, who also acts as producer - and just for the sake of chronology, this series originally hit the air long before the ill-fated Tycoon - and each gets $50,000 to work on their inventions in the hope of becoming a finalist. There were two series of this, and each one played out slightly differently, though we believe this is in fact the second series, so there will be six finalists, later whittled down to three. We're working off a very scanty billing here, though, so don't blame us if that turns out to be wrong.
It's from the producers of American Idol, so we'd advise you to expect similar amounts of hyperbole and bombast, but probably significantly less singing. Although you never know, do you? Also, the fact that we don't recall a UK-based spinoff called British Inventor suggests to us that this probably wasn't that brilliant. Unless Tycoon was to this as The X Factor is to American Idol, in which case you might be better off just switching your TV off for an hour and staring at the blank screen instead. Don't say we never give you options.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Monday, February 25, 2008
Mistery thriller
REBORN! The Mr Men Show, Five, Mon-Fri 7.30am Labels: animation, Five, rebrand, The Mr Men Show, TV
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Is it a dream, a parallel universe or another planet? Is it a bold new re-imagining or a parade of distorted foetuses flaunting their personality quirks in the name of entertainment? Or is it just another rebrand? Yes, that sounds a bit nicer, let's go with that.
So! This week marks the UK premier of the brand new re-imagined TV rebrand of the perenially popular Mr Men and the slightly less perenially popular Little Miss in The Mr Men Show (not to be confused with Mr Men, Little Miss - later broadcast together as Little Miss and Mr Men - or Mr Men and Little Miss, also shown on Five back in those crazy 'Channel 5' salad days). What it basically means for you, the viewer, is that around 56% of everything you thought you knew about the Mr Men and the Little Miss has been quite literally THROWN OUT OF THE WINDOW, with the morality tales of yore replaced by a sketch-show format, the temperament-based locations (inconsistently switched with the occasional and possibly metaphorical setting of Misterland) replaced by a Kosovoesque Brand New Country Or Place called Dillydale, and the vast, sprawling, repetitive original cast pared down to a tidy twenty-five key figures. Some have been renamed, many redesigned, a couple have had their gender reassigned and one or two have been plucked out of thin air and apparently created to enhance and complement their friends and colleagues.
While old favourites such as Mr Bump, Mr Grumpy, Little Miss Sunshine and (obviously) Mr Happy have survived the transition unscathed, others have been subtly modified. Mr Tickle's long arms are now retractable! Mr Strong's arms are massive, as is his big, sexy, V-shaped back! Little Miss Naughty has candyflossy hair! And the changes don't end there. Mr Lazy is now green, not pink! Mr Quiet is now light blue, not light brown! And he's doing yoga! Mr Nosey doesn't have a long nose any more! And he's fat! And he's got bad posture and a little tie that makes him look like a character from Top Cat! And he's gay, and living in an observatory with Mr Small for no apparent reason! And Mr Small's orange! And wearing a very tall top hat! And then there's the accents: Geordie for Mr Nosey, West Country for Little Miss Naughty, French for Mr Rude (hmmm) and retarded for Mr I'm-not-a-woman-anymore Scatterbrain. The whole cast, and their sordid/exciting exploits - including the pretty astonishing sight of Mr Strong flexing and kissing his mighty biceps - can be seen on the official site.
The Mr Men Show has already been airing on Cartoon Network in America for several weeks, and was almost entirely redubbed from American into English for a UK audience. The British voice-over artists include such luminaries as Simon 'Michael from I'm Alan Partridge' Greenall, Jo 'Natella from Bromwell High' Wyatt and Tim 'Angelo from Mike and Angelo' Whitnall, although the class-factor is enhanced considerably by the presence of Simon Phillip Hugh Callow CBE, who steps into Arthur Lowe's shoes as the narrator. Each episode features a particular theme (this morning it was Going To The Hospital To Have A Carrot Removed), and it's on every weekday morning, so there's no excuse for not having a look (unless you really just can't be arsed, or always found the Mr Men a bit frightening). Welcome back!
By Nick :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Libbin' it up
RETURNING! Neighbours, Five, 1.45pm, 5.30pm, 5.10am, Five Life, 7.00pm Labels: Five, Five Life, Libby Kennedy, neighbours, TV
One of the great things about Neighbours is that whenever a favourite character leaves, there is always a good chance you'll see them again. Even if they die. (See also: Home and Away, EastEnders, Emmerdale).
Tonight sees the return of an old favourite, Libby Kennedy. Libby comes back to support mum Susan through her trial and her still-a-mystery-but-not-for-much-longer illness. It's a good job someone in the family cares. Mal and Billy are both too busy being overseas, and Carytyre is too busy going out with Paul McClain to actually give a damn. Seriously, they could at least phone.
We're not sure what kind of job Libby will have, what with Riley being the new resident journalist and 'Fitzy' the new teacher, but there's still a doctor's position going, so maybe she'll have had yet another career change. However, all is not well in Libby-land. She and Ben (worryingly, he is played by the brother of the actor who plays Mickey, we thought we ought to warn you) are back, but where is Darren?
What this all means is that not only is Libby back, she's back with a bang, as the Kennedy-Smith-Kennedy-Smith-Kinski-Kennedy clan enter into some of their biggest storylines to date. Following on from this, can we have Lucy, Gail and RobRob back now please?
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Use the Forsyth
CELEBRATION! Happy Birthday Brucie, BBC One, 6.35pm Labels: BBC One, Happy Birthday Brucie, TV
It must be nice to still have an influence over the nation on your eightieth birthday. Even if the influence you have is the sort to make us wipe our eyes in disbelief and stare at the screen while watching Strictly Come Dancing, not quite able to come to terms with the fact that you just broke into a quick burst of 'Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?' Nonetheless, the fact that you can still command an audience of around 10 million every Saturday night (with the help of a younger, sexier female sidekick, but then that's television for you) at such an age is no mean feat.
And while Bruce Forsyth's birthday hasn't been declared a national holiday (yet), the Beeb has at least commissioned a televised shindig to celebrate the fact that Brucie has turned 80 this week. The celebration is an all-star special, which sounds to us like a kind of slimmed down Royal Variety Performance, featuring turns from Jools Holland, Paul O'Grady, and our personal favourite, Miss Piggy. Also on hand are some of Bruce's celebrity chums from Strictly Come Dancing, including friend of lowculture (well, she was on the banner for a few weeks, at least) Alesha Dixon. The fact that the programme has been scheduled directly opposite ITV's Dancing on Ice is, we're sure, entirely coincidental.
We admit, we do snark on him a bit during the winter season, but it's all done with the utmost of affection, and we can't imagine Strictly without him. So, with that: many happy returns, Mr Forsyth!
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
2 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Friday, February 22, 2008
They're the Kids in America
WARBLE! American Idol, ITV2, 9.00pm, 10.00pm Labels: American Idol, ITV2, TV
This week American Idol moves from the audition stages to the 'final 24' stage. We realise this stage actually started last night, but the front page was pretty chocka yesterday. The 'final 24' stage of this show always strikes us as a bit bizarre: it's not the official public voting stage, yet the singers perform and the public vote. Maybe we are a little dense, but we don't fully get its purpose. We never fully got the audience voting rounds in Pop Idol either, to be honest. Still, it's nice to actually get to see some of the good singers in action before the very last stage, unlike in certain shows we can mention, X Factor.
It's probably too early to pick favourite contestants at this stage of the game because you run a very serious risk of having your heart broken, but certain people are already standing out for users of the forum including 'Proud Mary' (Danny) and Carly.
We wouldn't be so foolish as to predict winners and losers at this stage of the game, but let's just say there are way too many Daves and Davids that got through to the final 24, so we don't expect all of them to make the cut.
We don't know yet whether this will be a classic series. Certainly there have been a lot of good people that got through, but we're not sure anyone truly spectacular stood out. Perhaps that is the problem with this show in a way. There are so many good singers that it can sometimes be hard to find those who could be stars. Discuss.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Thursday, February 21, 2008
The Man-Machines
SKETCHY! That Mitchell and Webb Look, BBC Two, 9.00pm Labels: BBC Two, comedy, Mac, PC, That Mitchell and Webb Look, TV
And they're back! Home computers Rob'n'Dave return for a second series of their much-loved TV sketch show, except of course it's the third Mitchell and Webb TV sketch show really, and the fourth if you count the Mitchell and Webb-heavy Bruiser, and actually their seventh sketch show overall if you throw Radio 4's That Mitchell and Webb Sound into the mix as well. Obviously that's quite a lot of PC-level heavy-duty mathematics to wrap our heads around (not sure the Mac could cope with it, to be honest, though it could probably turn it into a pretty pie chart or something), but that's Mitchell and Webb all over, you see: very funny and very intelligent men who also make you THINK (a little bit, even if it's just about how ridiculous numbers sound out of sequence or which computer you'd rather buy).
In a refreshing move that's almost unheard of in the sketch show world, they've defragmented their hard drives, restored their factory settings and chucked out pretty much every single character and concept from the first series (bar one or two, including the natural next step in the Numberwang! story), thus creating a blank comedy slate on which to start doodling with their hilarity chalk pencils all over again.
The previews we've seen so far have been excellent, including the bawdy Carry On-style hospital where one inadvertently-offensive doctor can't quite get the hang of innuendo, the over-excited TV sports announcer, and a lovely sketch where Rob persuades Dave to pretend to be gay for entirely selfish reasons. Rebooterrific!
By Nick :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
She'll be back. Every week, presumably.
SPINOFF! Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Virgin 1, 10.00pm Labels: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, TV, Virgin 1
We're always, naturally, very excited by the unveiling of a new TV channel since it generally proposes a whole new selection of content for us to preview, mull over, and perhaps snark upon a little. That said, there's been something awfully low-key about Virgin 1 ever since its launch. While it had The Riches on its opening slate, which we quite enjoyed when we remembered to watch it, it didn't really have much else to shout about, unless you count aeons-old reruns of Star Trek or The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. We suspect, however, that Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles might be the one to put it on the map. Or the EPG, whatever.
Fret not if you've never seen the movies, or if you saw them long ago and haven't really had cause to revisit them, since as long as you remember the basic premise (Sarah Connor is a slightly unhinged badass, John Connor is the saviour of mankind, there are a lot of evil machines and a handful of good ones), you'll be fine here. The series is set after the second movie, with Sarah and John trying to stay off the radar in order to stay alive, and finding it unsurprisingly difficult.
Apparently there were quite a lot of disparaging comments made in the press when the series debuted in America regarding the female leads' suitability for battle - Lena Headey, as Sarah, being fairly slim built, and Summer Glau, as John's futuristic protector, being roughly the same, but we thought they both acquitted themselves excellently with all the gun-totin' and severe violence, in this opening episode at least. (There was one moment where if you pause it Summer Glau kind of looks like a murderous Bratz doll, but then we challenge you to find us anyone who continuously and without fail looks flawless in a freeze frame). Thomas Dekker, fresh from allegedly departing Heroes under something of a cloud relating to his character's sexual orientation, and that's the absolute most we're saying on the matter without a lawyer present, is also excellent as John, so the casting director probably deserves to have a big celebratory muffin for his or her fine work. And maybe an extra-large cappuccino.
Given that we wouldn't particularly list "action" as our all-time favourite genre, we were surprised by how much we enjoyed the opening episode. What helps rather a lot is that it's thoroughly well-made in just about every important aspect, with the possible exception of one or two marginally iffy effects (but the strike rate of really good ones to slightly iffy ones is very high). Oh, and those of you who've read The Time Traveler's Wife (which is probably a good 98% of you by now, surely) and who remember one of the unfortunate side effects of time travelling will know what to look forward to near the end of the episode.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Doctorin' the Hub
MARTH! Torchwood, BBC Two, 9.00pm
MIRTH? Freezing, BBC Two, 10.00pm
Exciting times for viewers in the 'worthless' demographic tonight, as iPlayerphobes and those outside the 25- to 34-year-old age bracket (now banned from watching future modern modern! BBC Three) finally get a look at [officially a] Doctor Martha Jones' first crossover appearance in this week's Torchwood - a typically snappy tale of pharmaceutical research, eyeball injections, alien surgical implements, shocks, surprises, sexual tension, low-wattage light bulbs and, as ever, the Welsh.
And what a crossover appearance! Martha's beatific presence shines light into every corner and crevice of the dingy Torchwood Hub: Owen 'warms up' towards Tosh, Ianto lets slip a few details about his off-duty moments with Jack (incidentally, initial concerns about having two unrelated characters in the same programme with the same surname proved unfounded, as Martha and Ianto are easily distinguishable from one another when sharing screen time), and even Gwen cracks a smile once or twice.
Such is the extent of Martha's divine ethereality, in fact, that her super-refined immune system turns out to be just the incubator Jim Robinson needs to boost his sinister experiments into the development of an all-purpose remedy for human illness, and, yes, that may sound rather a lot like a straightforward lift from a couple of old Neighbours episodes, but it's actually very different. There's also another joyful reunion as Jim catches up with his always-amazing former neighbour Dorothy Burke, now working as a parasitic alien mayfly in deepest Cardiff. Reuniorrific! 
BBC Two follows an established series about a bunch of people who are supposed to be doing secret stuff without anybody really noticing despite everyone apparently knowing all about them with a new series about a couple of people who really want people to notice them but in whom nobody seems very interested any more. (Seamless!) 'Urban comedy' Freezing (they're not 'hot' any more, do you see?) follows the disappointments and frustrations of a decreasingly successful fortysomething publisher (Hugh 'Bumbles' Bonneville) and his decreasingly successful fortysomething American actress wife (Elizabeth McGovern) as they attempt to cling to celebrity and garner recognition at an age where new opportunities, credibility and glamour elude them and watching BBC Three carries a mandatory prison sentence.
With a supporting cast of people who seem to be doing rather well for themselves despite being on the verge of, around, or beyond that very age, including Tom 'Bumbles' Hollander, Tim 'Bumbles' McInnerny, Anthony 'Bumbles' Head, Ben 'Trainee Bumbles' Miles, Joely Richardson, Fenella Woolgar, James Woods and Alex 'Bumbles' Kingston, Freezing certainly sounds as if it should be alright, but you might want to ask yourself why it's being rushed out on three consecutive evenings if it's actually that special. There could be a very good reason. We don't know. And THAT'S the magic and mystery of television, RIGHT THERE.
By Nick :: Post link
:: ::
1 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
More meaningless industry back-patting
AWARDS! The Brit Awards 2008, ITV1, 8.00pm Labels: ITV1, The Brit Awards, TV
We're not suggesting for a minute that you should ignore the arrival of the marvellous Martha Jones in tonight's episode of Torchwood, and with it, the best episode of the series so far, but the annual airing of the British music industry's favourite excuse to give itself a big ol' hug at least deserves a mention of some kind, however muted.
As usual, the shortlist was greeted with the usual amount of scoffing and raised eyebrows (including one memorable lambasting from the Daily Telegraph's rock critic, which, as jobs go, would appear to have all the cachet of being Realism Advisor on Hollyoaks), the scandal this year being the unexpected selection of pop-themed nominations. Which basically means Leona Lewis and Mika are up for everything, and Girls Aloud got a surprise nod. Just think if they won: the plummeting shares in the guitar industry! Well, we can dream...
The event will be hosted by Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne, and recent tabloid reports have suggested the latter is threatening to strip naked, because he's wild and unconventional like that, and also it's possibly still 2002. But there's bound to be the odd talking point or two, given the event's history. Unless of course the invasion of pop kills the rock 'n' roll atmosphere and the most exciting headline turns out to be "Leona Lewis spills apple juice on expensive handbag", which is clearly what all the "serious music" fans are afraid of. Rock on everybody!
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Spot the difference
PARANORMAL! Moonlight, Living, 10.00pm
Picture the scene: there's this private detective, right? And he also happens to be a vampire. You're picturing Angel, aren't you? Nope, guess again. If you happen to be reading this site from Canada (hi there!), you might be thinking of Blood Ties. But nope, not that one either. Indeed, the vampire/PI genre is sufficiently well-populated to keep us guessing here all day (and really, who saw that coming?), so we'll cut to the chase: there's a new entry into the canon: Moonlight.
In this particular instance, the handsome and dashing (it says here) Mick St. John uses his supernatural abilities to help the mortals with their own variety of troublesome problems. He's accompanied in this enterprise by his bride and sire Coraline (played by Shannyn "A Knight's Tale" Sossamon, mischievous Josef (Jason "Veronica Mars" Dohring) and his new love interest, Beth Turner (Sophia "that episode of Doctor Who" Myles). And then every so often, there'll be a crossover episode with Buff - oh, wait, wrong show again. Damn.
Initial signs for the show weren't good, since three of the four main parts were recast between the original pilot and the full series, there were major creative changes, and the showrunner upped and left. TV history generally dictates that such action indicates a show is not long for this world, but it's held up surprisingly well with viewers in the US, so it might be worth a look. Just don't be surprised if you get a déjà vu...
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Monday, February 18, 2008
Three-er factor
FEARSOME! Being Human, BBC Three, 9.00pm Labels: BBC iPlayer, BBC Three, Being Human, future, idents, internet, modern, Russell Tovey's arse, TV
PIONEERSOME! Being Human, BBC Three Live Arena, 9.00pm
FINAL FRONTIERSOME! Being Human, BBC iPlayer, a bit later
It's been nearly a week since BBC Three was thrillingly reborn with a pink new logo, a handful of youth-friendly new idents and a YouTubey new BBC Three website as "the first non-news BBC channel to transform from a linear service to a fully joined-up, multi-platform venture – combining television and the web into a single, integrated offering". Obviously this means our lives are now better, but how are they better? What does new BBC Three mean for YOU, 25- to 34-year-old?*
Future future modern internet! BBC Three embraces the internet - that is to say, the futuriest bits of the internet based on the very futuriest concepts known to man - with Find Three, linking the viewer to such futurey activities as looking at photographs, watching clips of programmes and communicating with other human beings. Modern future modern modern future interactivity! BBC Three gives YOU, the viewer, the chance to appear as a continuity person with Be On TV, the exciting portion of the website where you can watch a video of a girl telling you how to get to the section of the website where you can watch a video of a girl telling you how to get to the section of the website where you can watch a video of a girl telling you how to get to the section of the website where you can watch a video of a girl telling you how to get to that section of the website and frankly it's not unlike the theoretical loop of infinity from Crime Traveller. Future modern future programmes! BBC Three's website has a Live Arena where you can watch programmes as they're broadcast! Simply place your TV next to your computer and move your head between the two during transmission hours for a heady simultaneous screenblast of future living. And then stream it on iPlayer and watch space and time quite literally fall at your feet in awe of your futuriness. Future modern modern future graphics! BBC Three thinks outside the box and adorns its website with crazy images of pears growing on stalks (yes, really!) and twisty cables and microphones and things that are mechanical but also organic and natural, because that's the world we're heading towards, as well as lots of tubes of pink stuff, because pink is also the future. Future future modern!
What it also means is a new! season of new! drama, new! comedy and new! comedy-drama, such as last week's Phoo Action, which wasn't very dramatic or very funny, or tonight's Being Human, which will hopefully be a bit more of both. Two young men - one a 120-year-old vampire, the other a werewolf - move in together, only to find their new home is haunted by the agoraphobic spirit of a previous tenant who died in dodgy circumstances. Writer Toby Whithouse draws on his previous experience blending comedy and drama with a supernatural twist and a creeping sense of menace and horror in episodes of Doctor Who, Torchwood and Where The Heart Is, while lowculture favourite Russell Tovey aka George aka the werewolf draws on his experience of being extremely fit and bares his arse on a number of occasions, including a particularly pause-and-rewatchable rear shot in this promotional clip from BBC Three's trailblazingly modern website. Best of all, they've stuck the important bit right at the start so you get to see it before the iPlayer stream strangles itself and the whole site goes into stasis. Welcome to the future!
*Over 34? Are you sure you shouldn't be dead?
By Nick :: Post link
:: ::
2 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Love thy Enemy
THRILLS! The Last Enemy, BBC One, 9.00pm Labels: BBC One, BBC1, The Last Enemy, TV
The Last Enemy might look like yet another crime thriller, we know, but don't yawn and wander off in search of a teen flick on Sky Movies just yet. We honestly think this crime thriller might be good.
It's set in the near future in a more 'surveillance' age. A man called Stephen comes back to London from a mysterious place the BBC website describes as 'abroad' to attend the funeral of his brother, and tries to find out what happened, finding himself caught up in a 'conspiracy' along the way. And whilst that may sound a little ho-hum, bear with us.
The reason we think this one might be good is the pretty awesome cast. Benedict Cumberbatch (whose career seems to have suddenly ballooned in the past year or so) takes the lead, which we like, because he is an unusual presence, particularly in this kind of genre. Robert Carlyle also stars (although after seeing 28 Weeks Later the other week, we are not sure his presence always means 'quality' any more), along with David Harewood, Max Beesley, and the wonderful Geraldine James.
In short, we are banking our hopes on the cast, rather than the plot. But there's not a lot else on at this time on a Sunday, so you may as well give it a go, eh? After all, Damages has shown that there is life in the crime thriller genre yet, and how wonderful would it be if there were great dramas on two nights in a row? Pretty darn wonderful, we think.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Comedy of (potentially fatal) errors
CAUTIONARY! Bizarre ER, BBC Three, 10.30pm Labels: BBC3, Bizarre ER, medicine, pratfalls, TV
BBC Three continues its trailblazing foray into high-quality multi-platform televisual goodness tonight with this not necessarily supposed to be funny (it's BBC Three; who knows) documentary series in which Crossroads star Freema Agyeman talks us through some of "the most extraordinary and eye-watering cases to come through the doors of a busy British A&E department". This first episode features pratfalls galore, with a poledancer who's fallen off her pole and a man who's fallen into an industrial cement mixer. Sounds bizarre? That's Bizarre ER! There's also a golfer who's smashed a golf ball into his girlfriend's teeth! Sounds bizarre? That's Bizarre ER! Then there's the student who's trapped his testicles under a sixty kilogram gearbox! Ooof! Sounds bizarre? That's Bizarre ER! A man with a bucket on his head! Sounds bizarre? That's Bizarre ER! An alcoholic who gets her thumb caught in the neck of a wine bottle, then gets drunk and forgets about it, goes to do her recycling a bit later, throws it into a bottle bank, smashes the bottle - thus releasing her thumb - but accidentally slashes open her wrist AND gets her arm stuck in the bottle bank at the same time! Sounds bizarre? That's Bizarre ER! An uninsured farmer who accidentally loses both arms and the best part of a foot when he tries to rescue a kitten from the thresher, thus completely destroying his livelihood! Also, the kitten doesn't survive either! Meowch! Sounds bizarre? That's Bizarre ER! A lollipop lady who gets caught up in a multi-vehicle pile-up involving - bizarrely! - a lorry containing a large quantity of lollipops, which goes on to explode right next to a petrol station, erupting in a ball of flame, blasting twisted metal and debris in all directions and impaling a number of passers-by and amateur heroes on wheel axles and shards of glass. There's blood everywhere - I mean, everywhere, right - and in amongst the pools of fire and dismembered limbs and general devastation one of the paramedics gets a nasty bump on the head from a 'MIND YOUR HEAD' sign! Whoops! Sounds bizarre? That's Bizarre ER! A ballerina who almost drowns and is pecked half to death when she stumbles into a 'Swan Lake'! Yikes! Sounds bizarre? That's Bizarre ER! A cleaner who falls into a vat of bleach! Sounds bizarre? That's Bizarre ER! Well, you get the general idea.
By Nick :: Post link
:: ::
1 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Lowculture vs. Cuoco, Round 2
"REALITY"! Big Brother US, E4, 9.00pm Labels: 30Rock, Big Brother US, Channel 4, e4, Five, our nemesis Kaley Cuoco, The Big Bang Theory, TV
We can't say we felt especially upset about the lack of Celebrity Big Brother this year - even the Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack on E4 left us feeling utterly uninspired, considering that by the time the finale was being promoted, we'd forgotten it was even on. And while the USA's Big Brother has always been the rather poor relation of its UK, erm, big brother, the phrase "any port in a storm" springs to mind. You may note that it seems to be on a little early this year - another side-effect of the writers' strike (which is now over, hooray!), causing network heads to scrabble for any non-scripted programme to put out rather than end up with a schedule full of dead air.
And since our chums across the pond are no less prone to tampering with an established working formula than we are, this year's competition is all about coupling up, so each contestant will be paired with a house "soulmate" (the show's subtitle is 'Til Death Do You Part', in a splendidly macabre sort of way). They stand for Head of House together, get evicted together, go to the toilet together (probably) - everything. And best of all, one of the couples is a set of gays! How very awesome. Even better, one of them "slept with his sister's cheerleading coach - ruining her cheering career." We bet she was S-A-D sad about that. So, excellent idea or transparent tokenism? Probably the latter, but we're sufficiently intrigued to tune in and find out.
"COMEDY"! The Big Bang Theory, Channel 4, 10.00pm
One of our crowning memories of bizarreness here at lowculture was the time when we previewed season eight of Charmed and found ourselves having to defend our opinions against a particularly zealous defender of bleached blonde talent vortex Kaley Cuoco. Anyway, we've sharped our claws and prepared for battle again, since our arch-nemesis has returned in a new sitcom about a hot girl befriending some nerds. Oh yeah, we can see how this one's going to go.
In fairness to Cuoco (ugh, we feel dirty just writing that), she started out in sitcoms and was generally agreeable on 8 Simple Rules, although we get the impression that her role as an airhead didn't require a whole lot of acting. So she's playing to her strengths, such as they are, because in this show she's cast as a beautiful bimbo (the producers claim the character is not an idiot; they are fooling no one but themselves) who moves in next door to a couple of geeks, the variety of which only ever exist on television or occasionally in movies, because they have no dress sense and talk about science fiction all the time. Hilarious, huh?
It's not doing too badly in the States, but its relative popularity is a mystery to us - we've watched a fair few clips of it on the internet and just don't see the funny, and it saddens us greatly that the lovely Johnny Galecki has been reduced to appearing in this show. And knowing the way our luck runs, it will almost certainly rate higher than...
TRAGEDY! 30 Rock, Five, 11.45pm
Our current favourite show ends tonight, and is bowing out with very little fanfare. It hasn't really done the business for Five, ratings-wise, and has been punished by being given the dreaded double-bill treatment (though this was an extra treat for fans of the show, when you think about it) and pushed later and later into the night, up to the point where only insomniacs and the truly devoted are likely to be watching. This show deserves so much better, and if The Big Bang Theory ends up becoming a smash hit over here, we may have to go around whacking the offending viewers with sticks until they see sense.
So, final episode, and things are not currently looking up for ol' Liz Lemon. Floyd's moved to Cleveland and she's attempting to maintain a long-distance relationship. Tracy Jordan is currently missing in action (this sounds like a job for the marvellous Dr Leo Spaceman), and Jack's set to get married to hollow-boned possibly fake British chippie Phoebe. Oh, and his sassy old broad of a mother is back in town.
We've loved this show dearly, and it truly saddens us that, much as in America, it hasn't had the viewing figures it deserves. But by the hammer of Thor, let's just hope we at least get to see season two at some point, rather than just getting left in limbo like we were with Big Love. Don't think we've forgotten about that, Five.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Alright, still?
CHAT! Lily Allen and Friends, BBC3, 10.30pm Labels: BBC3, Lily Allen and Friends, TV
So, today's the day that the BBC3 relaunch starts in earnest, with two of its much-hyped new commissions airing tonight: kooky drama pilot Phoo Action at 9pm, and Lily Allen's very own chat show at 10.30pm. Obviously we're very slightly wary of popstars being given their own TV shows, since we're still psychologically scared from The Charlotte Church Show. Hopefully, Lily was taking notes while that was on, and will not at any point in this show have seemingly unending segments that are included for the specific purpose of saying how great Welsh people are and that the rest of the UK smells, or storm onto the stage with her musical guests and proceed to sing right over them in a fashion that's embarrassing for absolutely everyone involved, including the viewers.
Admittedly at the moment, there is the worrying sign that there have been pre-transmission tabloid reports that the show just isn't very good. Since the same thing happened with Charlotte's show, we're feeling a little wary at this stage. Although, there is also the fact that said report comes from the Daily Mail, and said publication may just generally be horrified at the idea that young women can go out and host chat shows when they should be at home doing the dishes.
So we're going to do the decent thing and withhold judgement unti the first episode has actually aired, but in the meantime, what can we expect? Well, apparently there will be features on web celebs, just to prove how achingly on-the-pulse this show is, and slots devoted to up-and-coming new bands. Also tonight in the we-really-hope-you-know-what-you've-let-yourself-in-for stakes is the lovely David Mitchell as an interview guest. So, fingers crossed then, because we actually don't want this to be a disaster, since Lily's already had a bit of a rough year, hasn't she? Positive thoughts, everyone!
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
3 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Monday, February 11, 2008
Teenage schticks
BACK! Skins, E4, 10.00pm
We hope E4 realises they've spoiled a perfectly good lowculture meme by moving Skins to Mondays. Don't they know that it is supposed to be on THURSDAYS at 10PM? We're going to have to swap our entire plan for the week now. We had banked on it being on Thursdays, for crying out loud. If we hadn't been studying the Radio Times religiously, we'd have ended up watching Big Brother US, and that would never have done.
Anyway, scheduling issues aside, tonight is a good night for hedonism aficionados and admirers of celebrity parent cameos alike, as we welcome series two of Skins back to our screens. We had a love/hate relationship with series one, since we avoided watching it due to our general annoyance at the way E4 tried to tattoo the trailer onto the insides of our eyelids, but we caught the odd episode here and there and...sometimes it was good, and sometimes it was pants. Which happens quite a lot with the first series of anything, so we're willing to overlook that, but by gum if it doesn't pull its socks up this time around, there's going to be serious trouble, you mark our words.
So, series one had the immense feelgood ending involving Tony being hit by a bus, Mean Girls-style, but he's not dead, of course, because he has that weird protagonist immortality that's so common in TV shows. But instead, he's a changed man (well, manchild) which is set to cause serious reverberations amongst the other characters, particularly Sid. And meanwhile, Maxxie is a dancer - he loves to dance! - and is seriously clashing with his dad. Given that his dad is Bill Bailey, you'd think he'd be accepting of Maxxie's showbiz aspirations, but perhaps this is that reality/fiction distinction people say we have so much trouble with.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
1 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Ash Thursday
RETRO! Ashes to Ashes, BBC One, 9.00pm Labels: Ashes to Ashes, BBC1, TV
It may not be 1973, it may not be nearly dinner time, and Gene Hunt may not be 'avin' 'oops, but otherwise things are all looking decidedly familiar for DI Alex Drake, who wakes up in the past - in a brothel, no less - after being shot while escaping from a wrong'un who kidnapped her and her daughter. Yes, this is the eagerly-anticipated sequel to Life on Mars, which we know is going to be better than the original because this one is named after a Bowie song that was later sampled by Samantha Mumba, whereas 'Life On Mars' was not. It's as simple as that.
In truth, we worried a bit about the concept behind this, since when it was first announced it sounded like a bit of a half-arsed attempt to carry on the series without John Simm, and with a bit of gender reversal thrown in. However, now that we know more about it, we're genuinely excited, for reasons such as the fact that Alex Drake is being played by Keeley Hawes, and the fact that the writers have chucked in some Scream-esque genre-savviness by having Alex be fully aware of what happened to Sam Tyler (apparently she was his psychologist, no less), and even trying to use what she can recall from his notes to get home within the first episode, only to discover that things are going to work differently for her. Such self-awareness bodes well for the series, we feel.
And of course there are many other things that we're excited about: the return of the inimitable Gene Hunt, now living in 1981 and having transferred to the Met; Ray Carling having a perm; the car of the piece being an Audi Quattro; Keeley Hawes's fabulous hair; the probable New Romantic soundtrack; the creepy test-card girl being replaced by George and Zippy from Rainbow; and the slight-but-not-impossible prospect of this lowculture correspondent being born in the background if they happen to be in the Truro area at the end of March. With this much potential, how can it fail to be brilliant? (Let's hope there aren't lots of people in the comment box at 10pm telling us precisely how.)
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Monday, February 04, 2008
So, when's series 2 then?
RAUCOUS! Pulling, BBC2, 10pm
Regular readers will notice that several of your front page team (well, Steve and Rad mainly) have a slight obsession with Pulling, or, to be more precise, trying to find out when the fabled second series is going to start (we have heard there is going to be one, just no details of when). But perhaps its first showing on BBC2 indicates series 2 is one step closer. We can dream, anyway.
For those of you foolish enough to miss this on BBC3, you must tune in to it this time around. Alongside Gavin and Stacey it proves that the channel is still capable of churning out great quality comedy with loveable characters (Unlike the sweet Gavin and Stacey though, the humour of Pulling is pitch black throughout). Or at least that it was. We are utterly terrified by the prospect of the channel's revamp, as everything we have seen in the trailers looks rubbish.
Pulling centres around the love lives and other antics of three friends: Donna, the 'heart' of the show, played by Sharon Horgan, who dumps boyfriend Carl at the start of the series; Louise, played by Rebekah Staton, who initially seems to be the 'spare part' (see also Louise in Two Pints.... What IS it with that name?) but is actually very funny and may well be your favourite by the end of the series; and the 'real' star of the show, Karen, played by Tanya Franks (Renie in EastEnders). Karen is our kind of character: bold, brash, lewd, irresponsible, cutting and very funny.
We can pretty much guarantee they will be your new telly best friends within a couple of episodes, and that, like us, you will soon be clamouring for the fabled series 2....
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
1 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Tyriffic
SMOKY EYE! America's Next Top Model, Living, 9.00pm Labels: America's Next Top Model, Living, TV
If there's one thing we admire about Tyra Banks, it's her vast collection of wigs her impressive talent for self-promotion the way she screamed at Tiffany in cycle four her dogged determination that through this show, she will uncover a world-class modelling talent, despite eight seasons worth of evidence to the contrary. Unless we missed Jaslene's Vogue cover, or Naima becoming the face of Gucci. Anyway, Tyra's never been one to let repeated failure stand in her way (unless you count her abortive attempt at a pop career), so here she is with a ninth "cycle" of crazy bitches all competing to be Tyra's biggest kissass.
Tyra's experimenting a little with the audition format this year, as instead of holding them in a grotty-looking hotel in LA, this time Tyra's taking the 33 semi-finalists on a cruise ship, for high fashion on the high seas, or something to that effect. They're then forced to parade in front of Tyra, Ms J and Mr Jay, selling their dignity to the highest bidder, revealing all manner of X Factor-style personal traumas. Brilliantly, one of this year's hopefuls is named Spontaniouse. We're not even kidding. We won't tell you if she makes the shortlist or not, but damn. If nothing else, this show never fails in its bid to redefine what qualifies as an acceptable name for a person.
There's plenty of bitchery afoot even in the first episode, as Ebony tries to start drama by asking which of the girls has an eating disorder, and red-weaved Bianca from Queens picks a fight with anyone who stands still long enough. (In a later episode, she comes up with the best ANTM insult since "first of all, I didn't even know you were a bitch" by casually referring to another girl as "borderline plus-sized" in the middle of an argument.) Our big criticism, however, is that we guessed who the winner would be after watching the first episode, and we turned out to be right, so don't go expecting any big surprises. Unless you count a number of deeply dubious eliminations along the way - with episode six having the most distasteful elimination since...well, this:
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Lost and found
ISLANDY! Lost, Sky One, 9.00pm
DRUGGY! Weeds, Sky One, 10.00pm
At last, those who've been waiting what feels like aeons for a solution to that big cliffhanger from last season can finally breathe a sigh of relief: yes, Weeds is back! Finally, we get to see if Nancy gets away from the mobsters who were all set to shoot her in the last episode! Oh, and apparently some show set on an island is back as well, but nobody cares about that, do they?
We'll freely admit that we lost all interest in Lost after about eight episodes, but we know that there are many, many people whose opinions we deeply value who are completely hooked on it, so we shall retain an air of professional balance and not say anything disparaging. The producers have actually promised to start revealing the answers soon, especially now that the series has a definite end date in sight, so fingers crossed everything will start to slot into place in the very near future. We do, of course, know after last season's finale that Jack and Kate survive to get off the island, but we don't know how, and we don't know if anyone else managed it. Apparently more flash-forwards are promised for season four, though, so look out for those. (Beware for season four to be slightly truncated, by the way, since it's one of the many shows affected by the WGA strike at the moment, and last time we checked, just under half the season had been completed. Although if recent reports are true and a resolution to the strike is imminent, it could be one of the few scripted shows to manage its full complement of episodes in the 2007/08 season - wouldn't that be something?)
And afterwards there's a show that we prefer, but which doesn't have quite the same amount of exposure: Weeds, following the (mis)adventures of housewife and small-time pot dealer Nancy. As we mentioned above, she was in a rather sticky situation at the end of last season, so we're anxious to see how she manages to charm her way out of that one. There's a double bill of this tonight, and the second episode is a particular highpoint, when an unsavoury type gets one of his bitches to try to bang the gay out of poor Sanjay. That's on our shortlist for TV highlight of the year.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Sitting pretties
HOT! Vanity Lair, Channel 4, 12.45pm Labels: Channel 4, TV, Vanity Lair
Some time ago, we asked on the messageboards "Why does Alexa Chung keep getting presenting work?" We've still not received a satisfactory response to this, but whatever voodoo she's been working to continually convince commissioners that she isn't an annoying bint with no presence or charisma whatsoever, it must be working - not only is she still on our screens, she was also featured in Broadcast magazine's Hot 100 recently. We did laugh when we spotted that she was only two places higher than the little girl from Outnumbered. (The aforementioned little girl was robbed, by the way, being far more charming and talented than Alexa Chung is ever likely to be.)
Not content with killing Popworld, appearing next to the increasingly irrelevant Ben Elton in the dreadful Get A Grip, and proving to all those who thought that the presenting talent for Freshly Squeezed couldn't possibly get worse than Sarah Hendy that they were in fact very wrong indeed, our nemesis is back, since those high-up at C4 have inexplicably seen fit to give Alexa yet another show - this time, a sort of Big Brother for people with really big egos. Well, bigger egos than the usual contestants, anyway. Scary thought.
The premise here is that a set of self-confessed beautiful people live together in a kickass mansion, and every week they invite an outsider whom they just to be suitably attractive to join them, at the expense of one of the current residents who is then evicted, with the person agreed as the most beautiful winning £10,000 at the end. The show claims to be examining what it really means to be beautiful, and we can only assume that in her role as presenter, Alexa will be examining what it really means to be loud, smug and pointless.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Saturday, February 02, 2008
The bleak Miss Winters
SHOCK! Casualty, BBC1, 8.20pm Labels: BBC1, Casualty, Georgia Taylor is completely amazing, medicine, TV
In a world of vastly depleted natural resources, Casualty doesn't usually match the recycling targets of The Bill (or indeed Holby City) for sheer volume of recognisable people (‘actors’, if you will) who were pretend people (‘characters') in other things but are now pretend people ('characters') in this thing, but there’s always a little room (‘cubicle’) in Holby City Hospital’s emergency department for recognisable people (‘actors’) from other long-running serial dramas (‘seridrams’) to find a new home. Slightly worryingly, it’s a Brookside-heavy cast at the moment, with old hand Suzanne Packer recently joined by fellow former Brookie babes/Liver birds/Scouse skirt etc Sunetra Sarker and Gillian Kearney. So if the lead goes missing from the hospital roof, you know which lockers to check first. (Sorry!)
However, queen of the current Casualty soap graduates is, of course, frosty Brand New Doctor Ruth Winters, played by the phenomenally talented and hugely sympathetic Georgia Taylor, aka Our Toyah Battersby from Coronation Street. During her initial shifts, her main function seemed to be to make endearingly hapless fellow Brand New Doctor Toby look even more useless, with Ruth effortlessly breezing through advanced brain surgery and transfiguration while Toby struggled to thread a needle and operate double doors. But after twenty-four weeks (twenty-four weeks!), Toby’s confidence has grown and his colleagues have taken him to their collective bosom, while Ruth’s offhand manner and relentless ambition have left her on the periphery of the team alongside the warm corpses, lab rats and MRSA.
But naturally Ruth's aloof for a reason. Her drunken father hit her! Her depressed mother killed herself! Charlie Fairhead snapped at her on her first day! Only last week, a Banksyesque graffiti artist painted a big, beautiful mural of the Holby staff, but depicted Ruth without a face! And every so often she slips up badly and goes to great lengths to conceal her mistakes. Which she usually manages to do, but not tonight. So Ruth goes on to do something rather extreme and not entirely expected, and the world quite literally (not literally, obviously) falls apart.
Basically, after twenty-one years (twenty-one years!), including at least ten years in the doldrums with generally draggy plots and irritating characters, Casualty is really, properly good again, and Georgia Taylor is a major force in this resurgence of goodness. And the mediseridram continues to entice and impress next week, with the ridiculously hot Rhys Thomas from Star Stories guest starring as the team look back over events leading up to tonight's 'thing', while Harry Harper leafs through Ruth's diary and, presumably, furrows his brow a lot. Hindsightastic! And very sad.
By Nick :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Friday, February 01, 2008
Box of Delights
The life of being a previewer for your favourite website is not easy, you know. Sometimes we look at the next week's TV listings, full of despair because there is nothing good to talk about that we haven't already previewed. And yet like buses, the law seems to be that you wait for ages for something exciting to come along, then it all comes along at once. Tonight sees such a ridiculous embarrassment of riches on the box that Steve and Rad needed to collaborate together (in a move that hasn't been seen since, oooh, Christmas) to get it all in. So get a cup of tea and a biccy and plan your evening with us.... Labels: Alan Carr's Celebrity Ding Dong, BBC1, BBC2, Channel 4, EastEnders, Hey Paula, ITV2, jam and jerusalem, Later..., Myleene Klass, Paula Abdul, The Choir, The Law of the Playground, TV
RETURNING! EastEnders, BBC1, 8pm
It's good to see that Gemma Bissix's lucrative career of playing scheming bitches called Clare didn't end when she finally bowed out from Hollyoaks last year (and boy, does the show miss her. It's never the same without a good villain, and no, Jake Dean certainly does not count), as she reappears tonight in the TV alter ego we all knew before Clare Devine ever set foot in Chester: Clare Bates (née Tyler), in EastEnders on BBC1 at 8.00pm. Having been last seen as a rosy-cheeked schoolgirl heading off to Scotland with adoptive dad Nigel, she makes her entrance tonight in fine style - being thrown out of a car while wearing a skimpy dress and not looking not wholly unlike archetypal soap bitch-with-a-soft-centre Izzy Hoyland. Clare quickly reconnects with Dot, who's in dire need of a project at the moment, and then sets her sights on Ian, as everyone in the Square eventually does. Seriously, even the gays are going to be after him in a couple of weeks. When will this madness end?
ENDING! Jam and Jerusalem, BBC1, 8:30pm
We know that this series is never going to go down in the comedy annals in the same way that Absolutely Fabulous or The Vicar of Dibley have. However, we still love it, and it's a darn sight better than recent episodes of French and Saunders. This gentle, warm and still pretty darn funny series ends tonight when we see whether Tash will marry Spike. We'd like to see a Jam and Jerusalem wedding, so let's hope she says yes, eh?
SINGING! The Choir: Boys Don't Sing, BBC2, 9pm
We loved The Choir last year and we're very pleased to see it back. For the uninitiated amongst you, the series featured loveable, geeky and slightly hot choirmaster Gareth Malone (who has a touch of the Tennant about him, we think) in his attempts to transform a bunch of inner-city 'yoofs' into a choir to sing at the World Choir Olympics (if only they would integrate that into the ACTUAL Olympics, we would be so into that). This year, he's trying to repeat the same trick, only the 2008 twist is that it's an all-boys choir and they're competing in something at the Albert Hall instead. So there's a few echoes of The History Boys there, too. Only, we hope, without all the slightly creepy sexual undertones. This is your standard life-affirming fare, but none the worse for it.
JAW-DROPPING! Hey Paula!, ITV2, 10pm
Someone over at ITV2 has clearly broken into our top-secret personal diary, the one where we write our topmost secret telly wishes. While they couldn't quite see fit to give us "The Paula Abdul and Janice Dickinson Crazy Medicated Bitch Channel", they've done the next best thing, and got hold of Paula's very own reality show Hey Paula! to play directly after American Idol at 10.00pm. It doesn't take a genius to guess that the Paula in this show is Idol Paula, with the car-crash level upped by a factor of 20, so it will either be the greatest programme ever or the absolute worst. Possibly it will somehow manage to be both at once, thereby snapping the space-time continuum cleanly in two and killing us all where we stand. But let's hope not, eh?
COMPETING! Alan Carr's Celebrity Ding Dong, Channel 4, 10pm
If you're not a Paula Abdul fan, get the hell out of here and never come back. Sorry, that should read: "why not try Alan Carr's Celebrity Ding Dong on Channel 4 at 10.00pm instead?" - our mistake. We've read an interview with Alan Carr, seen a few trailers and looked at the listings, and yet we're still not really sure how on earth this show works, except that it pits celebrities versus civilians (no doubt inspired by Liz Hurley's famous clanger about the vast chasm between the two species) in a series of zany questions. It's got legs, certainly, but we'll wait until after the first episode before our final judgement.
REMINISCING! The Law of the Playground, Channel 4, 10:30pm
There was a time at the end of the last decade and the start of this one when you couldn't turn on your telly without a bunch of talking heads babbling on about the wonders of growing up in the 70s and 80s. Which was fine, because we all know that any conversation between 20 or 30 somethings always turns to the things of our childhood in the end. But there are only so many conversations you can have about all things retro before you get all meta and starthaving retrospectives of the retrospectives and the aforementioned space-time continuum comes and gets us. So what we are trying to say is that we are quite surprised to seeThe Law of the Playground returning for a second series. Perhaps Channel 4 decided it had been long enough without a nostalgia-fest that they could get away with it (or perhaps they were just desperate for some cheap filler whilst they wait for new episodes of Ugly Betty). The usual suspects are here: Justin Lee Collins, Vic Reeves, and, ooh, look who it is! Myleene Klass! Who'da thunk it, eh?
JAMMING! Later...200, BBC2, 11:35pm
The institution that is Later... With Jools Holland returns for a new series, and kicks off with its 200th episode. Although there is often a bit too much boogie-woogie jamming for our liking, the series is always guaranteed to pull off a few corkers from established artsists and is renowned for launching some great talent to boot. Tonight the big draw is a set from Radiohead, but there are other goodies to be had as well, including Cat Power, Dionne Warwick, Mary J Blige and Feist, a booking that will make at least one lowculture user very happy indeed.
So there you have it. Phew. We're going for a nice lie down now.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Thursday, January 31, 2008
One is such a lonely number
Labels: BBC1, EastEnders, Soap, TV
MONOLOGUE! EastEnders, BBC1, 7:30pm
It seems only, ooh, a couple of weeks ago, that there was a thread on the forum named 'Cancel EastEnders'. Oh, and another one called 'EastEnders: How can it stop being shit?' The show hasn't quite shown the mammoth turn around in quality it might want you to think it has, but it's certainly improved from a few months ago at any rate.
Even the most casual viewers and those who have long since deserted it will want to be tuning in for the next couple of nights, though. In fact, these next two episodes of EastEnders are so (potentially) momentous that we are featuring the soap on our front page two days in a row. We can't remember whether that has ever happened before, and we doubt whether it will happen again.
Tonight's episode has been promoted for two or three months now. It is the soap's first single-hander, and it is only fitting that it should go to Dot, a character we actually care about (and note to the scriptwriters, if you EVER try this trick with Phil Mitchell or Max Branning, we will never watch again).
The storyline centres around Dot recording a message for Jim, recovering from a stroke (as actor John Bardon recuperates from the same). We love Dot and Jim together, even if the show has kind of glossed over the fact that they both have a bit of a dodgy racist past, and we also love June Brown's portrayal of Dot. She manages to inject real heart into what could be a tedious series of storylines (a seemingly endless cycle of being religious, loving wayward son, being done over by wayward son, being mugged/terrorised/robbed, seeing loved one die, losing faith in God, regaining faith, loving wayward son etc).
We imagine this one will be a bit of a tearjerker, but at least there's a range of shows at 8 to cheer you up (schedulers take note: we like Waterloo Road, Masterchef, Jamie at Home AND American Idol. Would it hurt to spread the love out a bit?). Grab a box of tissues, and we'll see you tomorrow for a bumper box of Friday TV goodies, including more EE.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Monday, January 28, 2008
Taking the "fun" out of "funeral"
SENDOFF! Coronation Street, ITV1, 7.30/8.30pm Labels: Coronation Street, ITV1, soap death, TV
We know it's probably felt a bit like Vera overload on here over the week and a half, as a nation has cried and hugged and shared and learned and steadily tried to come to terms with its loss. And we make no apologies for this: we are, after all, dealing with a national treasure here. And if the Daily Express can still put Diana on the cover when she's been dead for over ten years, we think we're perfectly entitled to feature Vera for a few posthumous weeks.
There is, however, one final rite of passage for us all to get past, and that is, of course, the funeral. We can hear someone sniffling at the back already; there's a box of tissues here by the front, come and help yourself. Take some for later, if you like. It's time for the residents of Weatherfield, and in some cases Furtherafield, to gather together and give Our Vera the sendoff she deserves.
The death scene itself reduced countless fully-grown adults to tears, us amongst them, and while we may have got the bulk of our emotion out by now, we daresay there'll still be a few damp eyes as Jack and his close friends send Vera on to her final resting place (which we hope bears a striking resemblance to Blackpool - it feels only right somehow). And of course, this is the cue for prodigal son Terry to emerge from skulking in the shadows. Feel free to boo and hiss. We certainly won't be holding back.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Brothers in harms
WINCHESTERS! Supernatural, ITV2, 9.15pm Labels: ITV2, Supernatural, TV
We almost missed the return of our favourite hot-brothers-hunting-demons series (a list of the other series in this genre is available upon request*) because ITV seems to have been running the same generic "coming soon" trail for ages without really specifying what they mean by "soon". Unless they've replaced it with a more definite trail recently and we've just not seen it, in which case: sorry for unnecessarily besmirching your reputation, ITV. But we do watch your channel a lot, so if we didn't see it, lots of other people won't have, so just think about that, eh?
Anyway, Sam and Dean Winchester are back for a third (albeit somewhat brief, due to the US writers' strike) season, despite having solved their ultimate quest at the end of last season. To the surprise of everyone who thought this arc was going to go until the very end of the show, the dashing brothers Winchester managed to slay the Yellow-Eyed Demon that killed their mother (and also Sam's girlfriend, and also, indirectly, their father), but not before it managed to open the very literal gates of Hell and unleash all many of nasty-looking demons. So their work isn't quite over yet, because they've got to clean up the mess they made. Oh, and also, there's the slightly thorny issue of Dean only having a year to live, because Sam was a doofus and got stabbed in the back and died and Dean got teary in a manly sort of way and made a deal with a Crossroads Demon (who has nothing to do with Jane Asher, just so we're all on the same page), who agreed to revive Sam as long as Dean agrees to carp it in a year's time. Crappy deal, admittedly, but still probably better terms than most mortgages right now, so we can understand Dean's willingness to sign up.
Dean's dealing with his fate in very much the way you'd expect Dean would - by getting laid as often as possible. Disapproving Sammy is disapproving, obviously, and is secretly looking for some kind of loophole that will get Dean out of his deal with the Devil's lackey, because he doesn't want his big brother to die. Awww. Unfortunately, this first episode is not really up to the high standards this show set itself in season two - it's a bit plodding and obvious and a bit (dare we say it) Charmed. There's also the appearance of a stridently annoying girl with a magic knife at the end of the episode, who's obviously going to be very important this season. (Don't hate her too much, though; she gets significantly awesomer in a few episodes' time.) So ride this one out, because things improve significantly by around episode three, and episode five is fucking great. In the meantime, sit back and enjoy the pretty.
*No it isn't.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Ice to see you, to see you...
COLD! Dancing on Ice: Make Me a Star, ITV1, 8.30pm Labels: Dancing on Ice, ITV1, TV
We won't take too long over this since we're still full of merriment from lowculture's fifth birthday (look how we've grown! Our clothes don't even fit any more! Only another thirteen years and we'll be old enough to vote!), but that doesn't mean we can neglect our duties in terms of pointing out the various televisual masterpieces we think are worthy of your viewing hours today.
Perhaps "masterpiece" is stretching it in this case, but this is a fine idea nonetheless: since Saturday night is just all wrong without some kind of big competitive shiny floor show (you'll note here that we're completely ignoring the existence of The One and Only, which we think is best for everyone), ITV have decided that, in lieu of the actual Dancing on Ice show, which is now on Sundays, there will be a spinoff, which will be equal parts behind-the-scenes preview and competition for amateur skaters to take part in next year's show. (Note: the second Strictly Come Dancing does any kind of stunt like this, we are so there.)
How exciting! But how will it all work? And what will they actually do? Buggered if we know, but we daresay we'll be tuning in to find out...
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Friday, January 25, 2008
The Spice is Right
GIRL POWER! Spice World: The Movie, BBC Four, 8.30pm Labels: BBC4, Spice Girls, TV
There are those, such as F Dunkin Wedd, recipient of this week's Letter of the Week in the Radio Times, who think that BBC Four is descending into some kind of populist hell of late, and will probably view its decision to screen Spice World: The Movieas part of its pop music season as a sign of the apocalypse, but we'd like to stand up and applaud such a decision, because in our humble opinion, there is always a need for a channel that's as willing to screen a silly but brilliant pop movie as it is to screen Victoria Coren's History of Corners (even if the latter was just a BBC Four spoof included in Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe, but let's be honest, it was completely on the nose as spoofs go). It shows a very healthy open mind and lack of pretension, to our way of thinking. Also, the fact that they're choosing to screen such a movie on lowculture's fifth birthday cannot be a coincidence - it's obviously some kind of loving tribute to us, which we wholeheartedly appreciate.
It's easy to poke fun at this film, of course, but there's also much in it that's worthy of approval: Victoria Beckham emerging as a surprise comic talent, the girls' willingness to send up absolutely everything about themselves, Torchwood's Naoko Mori in a random bit-part as their heavily-pregnant friend, and of course some brilliant pop music piped in at regular intervals. It's hardly Citizen Kane, of course, but then it was never meant to be, and we do have to ask who the bigger fool is here: the person who goes to see Spice World expecting to some harmless fun, or the person who goes to see Spice World to point out the many reasons why it will never win an Academy Award for Best Picture. (We once spoke to someone who grouched that the scene where the girls are attempting to jump over Tower Bridge in the Spice bus, only for the shot to be changed to a deliberately crude and childish model shot made out of loo rolls with the toy bus being pulled on a piece of string, was "obviously cheap and fake", thereby missing the entire point. And seriously: if you're too dumb to understand this film, what's to become of you?)
Besides, it's easy enough to paint this as a cinematic masterpiece if you want to. It was a brave directorial decision to cast such obviously unskilled actors in the main roles. The wanton jettisoning of all known conventions of plot, storylining and continuity are extremely bold and daring. And the final concert scene at the Royal Albert Hall is a masterful flight of fancy. But we don't need to be ironic about it, because we know this movie is great, and the fact that it's being screened on a "clever channel" like BBC Four, on our birthday, no less, is obviously a complete validation of our viewpoint. Hooray!
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Dressed for success?
Labels: BBC1, Fairytales, TV
FASHION! Fairy Tales: The Empress' New Clothes, BBC1, 9pm
Now the updated Fairytales have passed under our radar a bit, despite us loving The Canterbury Tales and Shakespeare Re-told. However, the buzz on the forum is that they have been quite good fun.
Tonight's sees Denise Van Outen and Liz White (from Life on Mars and, indeed, Teachers) starring in a rehash of The Emperor's New Clothes.
The spin on this is that Denise plays a model, Michaela, who competes with her rival to get some hot new designers to make her catwalk outfits. Liz playes her friend, Shannon. However, apparently these new designer clothes are market stall clobber, so we will be spared half an hour of Denise wandering around nude and lots of terrible jokes about bangers, melons and the like. Phew.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Rock on
LATE! 30 Rock, Five, 11.05pm
We've grown used to the fact that shows we adore will, more often than not, turn out to be fairly unpopular among the public at large and disappear from our screens lamentably early (see also: Night & Day, Crossroads, Veronica Mars, etc), and we've been nursing a suspicion for some time that 30 Rock was set to join their ranks. For starters, 10.40pm on a Thursday was never really a prime slot to launch a sitcom (especially not on Five), and then it started getting pushed later, and now it's come to double bills, which are seldom a good sign. Oh dear.
It's disappointing, because 30 Rock has a higher laugh-per-minute ratio than any other show we can think of right now. We still dissolve into fits of giggles every time we think about Jenna's appearance on The View ("Your father Werner was a burger server in suburban Santa Barbara when he spurned your mother Verna for a curly-haired surfer named Roberta. Did that hurt her?"), or Tracy trying to act as much like a stereotype as possible in order to embarrass Jack at the golf course, or Liz making a list of reasons to dump her boyfriend ("Pro: Jack likes him. Con: Jack likes him."), or Jack's frequent accidental double entendres ("I'll be your bottom, Kenneth, and I want you to ride me as hard as you can.") But then, it is very US-TV in-jokey, so we can see why it might not be to some people's tastes. Especially if they haven't completely rotted their brains from over-exposure to American television in the way we have.
Tonight: it's time for the renegotiations of the staff contracts, with Jenna anxious to make up for some unfortunate comments she made in an interview (only to go on TV and get Barack Obama confused with Osama bin Laden) and in the second episode, Liz is anxious to prove she isn't racist. We're fairly certain there will be hilarious misunderstandings of epic proportions, and we can't wait.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Difficult by Design
Labels: Channel 4, Grand Designs, TV
SPECTACLE! Grand Designs, Channel 4, 9pm
The new series of Grand Designs actually started last week, but we had important information on Cardiff's finest bisexual not-so-secret-agents to impart, so it passed us by.
Anyway, tonight's episode features a man with a £1.3 million budget to build his dream home, something the Radio Times describes as 'a cross between a garden centre cafe and a very chic contemporary prison camp', which is fairly intriguing.
Anyway, you know the plot. Ambitious person comes up with bizarre plan, Kevin McCloud doesn't approve, lots of setbacks ensue, thing gets built, Kev either relents and gives it a thumbs up, if it has used loads of exciting 'processes' he can talk about, or he tells us he was right and they were wrong all along.
But, as with Property Ladder, we don't watch this for the forumla, we watch it for those kerrazy properties. And tonight's episode show us what happened when the build and the summer floods coincided. Which should be interesting in a 'glad it's not me' voyeuristic kind of way.
What we are really hoping to find later in the series is a revisit to the bonkers boat people from last series, though. Let's hope Channel 4 can fix that one for us.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Reaping the rewards
NEW! Reaper, E4, 9.00pm
This year we attempted to be well-prepared for the annual onslaught of glossy US imports by tracking down the pilot episodes of all the big new shows on the networks and giving them the all-important lowculture once-over. We got all of our opinions in order, ready for the shows to go on air over here...and then the Writers Guild of America went on strike, which meant that one by one the shows fell off the airwaves, and the UK broadcasters found themselves with only partially-completed series. Which meant that a lot of them have held back the debut dates for the new shows indefinitely, until they know exactly what they're dealing with, but thankfully E4 is being brave and showing off its new jewel, about a slacker who discovers that his parents sold his soul to Satan and he's now the devil's lackey, in the usual January slot.
It's a shame, then, that Reaper wasn't our top pick of the new shows. That's not to say that we didn't like it, because we did, but it didn't grab us in the same way that Pushing Daisies or Gossip Girl (both of which were snapped up by ITV, coincidentally, and are yet to be given a confirmed start date) did. But since this one's here now, let's focus on the things we did like about it: it's fantastically silly, and deliberately so. After the increase in earnest, po-faced sci-fi dramas, it's nice to see a show that gleefully doesn't take itself all that seriously. Bret Harrison is appealing in the lead role, and it stars Valarie Rae Millar, of Original Cindy in Dark Angel fame, and we're very happy to see her working again.
On the downside, we found the sidekick kind of annoying, in that Jack Black sort of a way. One Jack Black in the world is quite enough, we have no real need for another. It's not a dealbreaker though, and your reaction to him will probably depend on the sort of esteem in which you hold the famous original version.
Once the premise of this show gets set up, it becomes a lot of fun, in an undemanding sort of way. It's worth a look, and we're planning to catch the rest of the episodes to see how it develops, but we're waiting more anxiously for the geek-turns-secret-agent drama Chuck to turn up on Virgin 1, which was more our cup of tea.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Baby baby, be mine
PATERNITY! Hollyoaks, Channel 4, 6:30pm
Now, we have noticed that, of late, Hollyoaks has been even more rubbish than usual, with its dreadful plots about drugz and surrogacy. However, even if you have given up on it recently, you must tune in to tonight's epiosde, as it's a corker.
Firstly, we see the possibility of JP getting some new boy action with someone that isn't the wretched, whiny, self-obsessed Craig. We approve. Secondly, we see some development in the Carmel police plot, which we actually like, despite it sounding like the maddest thing ever on paper.
(There is also some nonsense with Nancy-Boy (Newt) and My Bloody Valentine / Goth 'n' Spell (Lauren) giving the Birdseye Botherer (Tom) an emo makeover, but let's skip that).
But the best thing ever is that, finally, after over a year of it being dragged out, the show remembers that there is a dispute over Charlie's paternity. Things arise when Charlie is taken to hospital with leukaemia. Jake(ass) has been such a nasty piece of work for ages that we hope it turn out the baby is Justin's. We also hope it splits Nancy and Jake up and she can remember that she used to be fierce, a long, long time ago.
As they are finally looking like they might resolve this one, can we suggest they continue this theme by getting the McQueens to remember Carmel's boob theft?
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Monday, January 21, 2008
Law and disorder
HARMAN! City of Vice, Channel 4, 9pm Labels: BBC1, Channel 4, city of vice, Damages, gay, Glenn Close, nigel harman, TV
City of Vice actually started last week, but passed us by a bit as we had other things to preview, starring Jane Asher. In fact, it's on at the same time as The Palace, so really you'll need to record it or watch it on C4+1 or 4OD.
The series is based in London, just prior to the development of the Metropolitan Police and stars Ian McDermid and Iain Glenn as the crime-fighting Fielding brothers. Tonight's episode also features the enticing (well, for some, we never really got the appeal) prospect of Nigel Harman gaying it up. He plays a transvestite rent boy and we see a glimpse of the gay scene in a time where you needed to hide your sexuality for fear of death. Although we make no promises of accuracy.
From the publicity shots of frocks and whatnot, however, we're guessing, that the show will emphasise the camp and melodramatic rather than the serious business of people being killed for who they fancy. Or maybe we're just a bit cynical.
Anyway, it's Channel 4 post-watershed, and they've been trailing the whole series as being full of sex and violence (ie a bit like a period Torchwood), so at the very least you're pretty much guaranteed lots of shots of young men with their tops of. Not that we'd suggest your average lowculture viewer has one thing in mind, or anything....
CHANGING! Damages, BBC1, 10:35pm
We know we only previewed Damages a fortnight ago, but we needed to bring it to your attention today because it has suddenly moved from a Sunday to a Monday.
By Rad :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Friday, January 18, 2008
Vera ache
Labels: Coronation Street, ITV1, soap death, TV
WEATHERFIELD GAZETTE DEATH NOTICES
DUCKWORTH
On 18th January 2008, suddenly at home, Veronica (Vera) Duckworth, aged 69 years, of 9 Coronation St, Weatherfield. Beloved wife of Jack, mother of Terence. Also missed by grandchildren Paul, Tommy and Brad, second cousin once-removed HM The Queen and family, Tyrone and Molly. Also missed by friends and neighbours. Funeral Service to be announced later. No flowers.
WEATHERFIELD GAZETTE CLASSIFIEDS
FOR SALE
Massage chair. One previous owner. Good for aches, pains. Other benefits included. May require a little rewiring depending on what happens tonight. Tel: 0161 715 8436
David
My formative years coincided with Vera's classic tight perm and nylon tabard phase of the 1980s, so inevitably during that time she became something of a second mother to me. Whether deciding on a tasteful façade for the home, dealing with wayward menfolk and their video dating tomfoolery, or overseeing the sale of grandchildren, Vera has been a constant source of inspiration. She even made stitching denim in a borderline-sweatshop seem fun. So in tribute I'll be spending Friday wearing a headscarf, clockwatching and gossiping non-stop. Vera, peace be with you on your journey to the Baldwin's Casuals factory in the sky and enjoy an eternity of nattering with Ivy.
Kellie
Far be it from me to sully the good name of Veronica Duckworth by bringing petty crime into the equation, but my abiding memory of Vera will always be the time when, during a period of severe poverty, she attempted to steal some desperately-needed nappies from Bettabuys by hiding them in the bottom of little Tommy's pram. She was stopped before leaving the store by friend, neighbour and supermarket manager Curly Watts, who promptly found himself in trouble for not waiting until she had left the store and actually stolen the nappies, and instead accosting her at the checkout when all they could do was accuse her of intending to steal. An unpleasant story, perhaps, but I think it speaks volumes about the high esteem in which everyone held Vera, that people would be willing to jeopardise their jobs, their careers even, to protect her from coming to any harm. It's a shame no one could do anything to save her from whatever fate she is set to suffer tonight. May her soul rest in peace.
Steve
The Great Illumination sleeps
The best that Blackpool never had
In Weatherfield, the pigeons weep
For walls of blue and yellow clad
Her spirit lit up every scene
As denim-stitch or publican
As bastard cousin of the Queen
Or keeper of Roy's frying pan
O Vera! Hear the pigeons roar
The kettle hiss and barrel thunder
Ascending to God's factory floor
Of light and love and Northern wonder
These cobbled streets have lost a great 'un
But know this as your train departs:
Your kidney lives on in Paul Clayton
As you live on in all our hearts.
Nick
By Nick :: Post link
:: ::
1 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Idol pursuits
TALENT? American Idol, ITV2, 9.00/11.00pm Labels: American Idol, ITV2, TVFinally. Let's banish the unpleasant spectre of The X Factor and that whimpering chap who won it for good (or at the very least, until the end of August) and get back to where it's really at: the granddaddy of them all, American Idol. No groups. No over-30s. No judges doubling as mentors. And best of all, absolutely no Louis Walsh. No wonder this is the singing contest we can watch without developing stress lesions.
Last year's Idol was memorable, but for perhaps a lot of the wrong reasons. Unlike most years, where there are one or two extremely strong contestants who are always a shoo-in for the victory, last year's Top 12 was a mixed bag, most of which were above average but few of which were exceptional, leaving the race to victory wide open until fairly late on. And there were the controversies, of course: those sordid pictures of Antonella Barba leaking onto the internet. Sanjaya Malakar's hair. The most hilarious lovers' tiff yet between Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest (including Seacrest memorably snapping "don't call me sweetheart. We don't have that kind of a relationship."). Ashley Ferl, the crying girl. Sanjaya Malakar turning to Teflon and sticking to the competition longer than anyone thought possible. The moment when Chris Richardson and Blake Lewis were in the bottom two together, leading to the most tearjerking goodbye of the season, and also the gayest moment in six years of an already highly-gay show. Early favourite Melinda Doolittle bowing out in the semi-final. Eventual winner Jordin Sparks's album being the lowest-selling debut from an Idol winner ever. See, that's not even scratching the surface, and even like that it's already a zillion times more exciting than The X Factor.
So, it's a new year, and these are things we hold true: there will be many, many auditionees. There are 24 studio-singing places to be filled by the various hopefuls. At least one good singer will get kicked off unexpectedly early. At least one bad singer will still be here long after the joke has ceased to be funny. Paula Abdul will make at least one surprisingly coherent comment. Randy Jackson will continue to use the non-word "pitchy" to describe any vocal that is out of tune, and will call all the contestants "dawg", regardless of gender. Simon Cowell will get booed every time he phrases a comment in such a way as not to be pure, unsullied praise. Ryan Seacrest will wear a lot of expensive suits. And we will get completely hooked, and start scouring the internet for places where we might find MP3s of our favourite performances, because we are absolutely that lame. This...is American Idol.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Prime(val) suspect
META! Harry Hill's TV Burp, ITV1, 6.30pm Labels: Harry Hill's TV Burp, ITV1, Primeval, TV
Christmas can be a traumatic time in many ways, but by far the worst experience we had to endure over the festive season was getting back to London only to find our TiFaux had steadfastly refused to record almost everything we'd asked it to - including the seasonal special of Harry Hill's TV Burp. To be looking forward to something for so long, and then to be denied, it's...well, it's not very nice, let's put it that way.
In light of which, we're extremely grateful to the sympathetic types at ITV who've seen fit to start the new series today, so at least we have new episodes to watch. Hooray! As well as all of the regular features we've come to know and love, including the pre-ad break "FIGHT!", the TV Highlight of the Week, and the random TV personality coming on at the end to sing a song, we gather we can expect a look over TV not just from the past week, but since the end of last series. Quite how they're planning to squeeze that into 30 minutes without having some kind of early-90s type moment where it's all played at lightning speed for us to rewatch later using a freeze-frame function, we're not sure. Either way, we can't wait to see what he made of The X Factor. Welcome back, Harry. Please never leave us again.
DINOSAURS! Primeval, ITV1, 7.00pm
People may be cock-a-hoop wherever you look on the internet right now over the return of Torchwood later this week, but we're just as excited about the return of slightly wonky but entirely loveable ITV sci-fi effort Primeval, which was most notable in its first series for endless gratuitous sequences of Hannah Spearritt dancing around in her underwear, and the general sense you got as a viewer that perhaps the show's "anomalies" (rips in the fabric of time) were meant to represent the gigantic plot holes that cropped up at least once per episode.
We started off sneering at it, admittedly, but we grew quite fond of it as the series went on. Sure, it had its flaws (and let's be honest, here: show us a genre series that doesn't), but it had a properly good yarn at the centre of it, which counts for more than you might think. We were left on a cliffhanger where dashing team leader Nick Cutter emerged from one of the anomalies only to discover that the world he was returning to had changed, perhaps forever. Presumably we'll be picking that thread up where it dropped off, and revisiting the time-honoured themes of dinosaurs rampaging in heavily urbanised areas, and sexy scientists toting large amounts of weaponry. Ahh, good times.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
1 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Stir of Echoes
SOAP! Moving Wallpaper/Echo Beach, ITV1, 9.00/9.30pm Labels: Echo Beach, ITV1, Moving Wallpaper, Soap, TV
It is no exaggeration when we say we have been excited about these shows FOREVER. Okay, maybe it's a little bit of an exaggeration, but we've been excited about them since they were first announced, which feels like a lifetime. It had better have been worth the wait. Echo Beach is supposed to be ITV's new soap, although the fact that the initial run is only 12 episodes somewhat belies that. Soapy drama, possibly, but there's no fun in having a soap with a set end point, if you ask us.
Anyway, it's so high-concept it almost hurts: Moving Wallpaper is set behind-the-scenes of a show called Echo Beach, following the exploits of a fictional production team lead by Ben Miller, who are all busting their figurative balls to create the best soap in town (geek fact: it's all based on Tony Jordan's real life experience of working on EastEnders). We then get to see the result in Echo Beach, presented in a programme in its own right, immediately afterwards. From what we gather, you can watch the latter without the former and things will still make sense, but to get any joy out of the former you really need to watch the latter. A bold move, and demanding a certain amount of viewer loyalty, but we admire their bravery.
When we first heard about it, Moving Wallpaper was planned as an ITV2 companion-type show, so the fact that it's now on the main channel and serving as a lead-in suggests ITV have got a lot of faith in this concept, which pleases us. We also love high-concept soap operas, and have never quite recovered from the loss of Night and Day, so we should be squarely in the target audience for this, and we really, really want it to work. Even if Martine McCutcheon is in it. But then again, Susie Amy is in both shows, playing herself as a casting-couch straddling strumpet (as "Suzie Amy", apparently) in Moving Wallpaper, which sounds a lot of fun. Please, gods of television. Let this be as amazing as we dreamed it would be.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
We've had our Phil
HOUSING! Relocation, Relocation, Channel 4, 8.00pm Labels: Channel 4, Honest, ITV1, Relocation Relocation, TV
As painful as this is to admit, the appeal of all of these property formats is starting to wear thin, since we've calculated that the price of the average house these days means we're unlikely to set foot on the property ladder until approximately 2034, and that's assuming the prices don't go up in the meantime. So forgive us if we're not all that excited by the prospect of watching a bunch of gratingly wealthy bastards look for a four bedroom detached house with a small forest out back for the children to play in and at least fifty miles away from any traffic noise. We'd almost rather watch ITV2 rerun the most allegedly lolworthy auditions from The X Factor for the ninety billionth time since Christmas. Almost.
Anyway, no matter how angry we may be at the housing market, we will always hold a soft spot for the eternally put-upon Phil and Kirstie, who have to spend a lot more time watching these people scratch their chins over precisely where to spend their £500k than we'll ever have to. True to form, tonight's show involves a couple who are looking to relocate to Devon, having both got new jobs and sold their previous home for a tidy profit. We will probably spend the majority of the show screaming "fuck off!" and throwing cream buns at the television, unless these people turn out to be particularly likeable. Which might actually make things worse.
CROOKS! Honest, ITV1, 9.00pm
This is not, we are almost certain, a TV adaptation of the 2000 film starring three-quarters of All Saints, directed by Dave Stewart, although it reminded us of it sufficiently to make us add it to our list on lovefilm to see if it really was as bad as everyone said it was (and before anyone asks, no we're not getting paid to link to that site. Honest). Instead it stars ITV's go-to matriarch Amanda Redman as the head of a family of crooks attempting to go straight. Hilarity ensues, we assume.
It'll be interesting to see how this one pans out, actually. Somewhat predictably, our heads have gone straight to At Home With The Braithwaites, and if it's as cheerfully deranged as that was, we'll probably love it. If it's all earnest and gritty, we might not. But we'll see how the first episode goes, and take it from there. Come back and ask us again in a couple of weeks, at which point it'll either be our new favourite programme, or we'll have forgotten it ever existed.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
2 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Affairs to remember
LADIES! Mistresses, BBC1, 9.00pm Labels: BBC1, Mistresses, TV
Invoking the spectre of Sex and the City is one of the quickest ways to start an argument at lowculture towers, since there are those of us who consider it a classic, genre-defining series that has forever left a dildo-shaped hole in the TV schedules, and there are those of us who thought it was an overrated piece of wishy-washy claptrap that set the feminist agenda back by about 20 years. For the sake of privacy, we won't reveal who was in which court, but let's just say the discussion has never yet been settled without all of us screaming at each other and storming out in a sulk.
Of course, you can't talk about a show starring four women of a certain age without mentioning The Show That Should Not Be Named, which does tend to make things rather difficult. To save another argument getting in the way of things, we're going to move past that and instead focus on the important thing here, which is that this new show stars Sarah Parish. And we'll watch anything if it's got Sarah Parish in it. Even if the show was just Sarah Parish watching paint dry while reading aloud from the phone book, we'd still probably make it our pick of the day.
The BBC website describes this as "a sexy, sophisticated and bold take on the lives of four women and their involvement in an array of illicit and complex relationships", which sounds as though it ought to be delightfully sordid, although this is probably going to have an "aspirational" tone to it, so we can all sit watching it while devouring a big bar of chocolate and wondering why watching other people endure moral dilemmas is always far more fun than having moral dilemmas of your own. Those of you wanting to play along at home during the show, award yourself points for spotting which one is the Carrie, the Samantha, the Miranda, etc.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Monday, January 07, 2008
The kids (shows) are all right
CHILD SPY! MI High, BBC1, 5.00pm
If daytime is the new peaktime, as the TV industry press would have us believe, then we reckon children's TV is the new new peaktime. Or the new daytime, or however it's supposed to work. After the amazingness that was The Sarah Jane Adventures, which managed to be warmer and more compelling and more likeable than quite a lot of primetime television, we no longer feel any shame in admitting when a kids' show is great, so we're sound the fanfare for the return of MI High to CBBC.
For those of you who didn't catch the first series (which would be those who are still at work at 5pm, and those who don't watch the CBBC channel at weekends, which we assume is quite a lot of people), it's basically Spooks in a school, albeit with the emphasis slightly less on global politics and more on leather-clad heroics, with a bunch of improbably good-looking teenagers routinely saving the world, as improbably good-looking teenagers often do on television. We caught a few episodes of the previous series, and were pleasantly surprised at the complexity of the plots and the high production values. Given our general affection for teen-oriented American television, take our work for it when we say it stands up to the glossy US shows admirably.
Today's opening episode involves a plot to kidnap the President of the United States of America, which we assume will be suitably foiled by our hardworking heroes, but not before 25 minutes of twists and turns. We recommend setting the video, or the PVR, or even claiming that you have an urgent dental appointment in order to sneak out of work early. We're normally firm advocates of telling the truth, but making it clear that you have to run home to watch a children's programme may invite some suspicious and unwanted questions. If you think you can handle that, mind, more power to you.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
No strings attached
ARE GO! Thunderbirds Night, BBC4, from 7.00pm Labels: BBC4, Thunderbirds, TV
First of all, lowculture would like to wish everyone a very happy New Year, and we hope that you all saw 2008 arrive in suitably debauched fashion. If, like us, you awoke yesterday morning with a defiant headache and wondered precisely what you'd done the night before to make the vision in your left eye go so blurry, you're probably hoping that the holiday spirit would last a few days longer, to give you a bit more time to settle back into your normal routine. Happily, it would seem that BBC4 agrees with you, since tonight they have forsaken their usual erudite documentaries in favour of something far more lowculture-friendly - a whole evening of programmes about Thunderbirds. Hooray!
Obviously there is a documentary in the middle of all of this - at 9.10pm, focusing on everything one could possibly want to know about the show and Gerry Anderson - and the BBC archives have provided an edition of Mastermind where the show was one of the specialist subjects to serve as a coda to the evening, but around these there's puppetry aplenty, all presented in glorious Supermarionation. (And just to clarify, that's not the latest Mario game due to arrive on the Nintendo Wii.)
There's a double bill of the show in question to kick off at 7pm, followed by an episode of Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons, and as an added bonus, a previously unseen episode of Stingray at 10.10pm. It might seem a little quaint by our modern tastes, but at least being able to see the strings helps us to understand why the acting is so wooden, which is something that we still have trouble explaining when we watch Hollyoaks. (Nothing like a cheap, wholly predictable and slightly unfair joke to get the year started as we mean to go on, eh?)
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Saturday, December 29, 2007
House and country
OUTLAW! Robin Hood, BBC1, 6.00pm Labels: BBC1, Hallmark, House, Robin Hood, TV
While having lunch with a friend of ours yesterday, we were debating the condition of modern light entertainment, as is often the case with us. The conversation turned to the subject of Robin Hood, with our friend opining that while she couldn't bear to watch a single second of the first series, she'd rather enjoyed series two. The reason? The producers had clearly realised when they were onto a good thing, and had taken every possible opportunity to get Richard Armitage to take his shirt off. Because essentially, while we like to think we're a very sophisticated audience, it's surprising how quickly we can be won over with some utterly gratuitous but well-deployed shirtlessness. (The same can be said of season two of Heroes; even when the plot was hopelessly off-course, an episode could be instantly saved by the inclusion of shirtless Peter Petrelli.)
The second series has been doing a fair job of holding up the ratings in a thankless slot against The X Factor (perhaps if Robin spent more time talking about his dead parents, he might have managed a more sizeable audience), and some quite nifty guest stars including Charlie Brooks and Josie Lawrence. Tonight's series-closing double bill includes a guest appearance from Konnie Huq, our second-favourite Blue Peter presenter (after Gethin, natch), and hopefully twice the amount of shirtless Guy of Gisborne. If it ain't broke, after all...
MEDICAL! House weekend, Hallmark, from 10.00am
Although we were surprisingly unscathed by our downgrading from cable TV to Freeview a year ago, one thing we do miss from time to time is when the niche channels decided to boost their ratings by running a marathon of their top shows for an entire weekend, so you could just sit there and gorge yourself on quality (or otherwise) television without even needing to worry if the remote control was within arm's reach. We still miss the Living Charmed weekends, and we're more than a little disappointed that we won't be able to catch Hallmark showing the entirety of season two of House back-to-back. But we're still charitable enough to mention it to you guys, to make sure you know it's happening.
So, if your eyes and your bottom are up to it, look forward to LL Cool J, romantic entanglements, sex being a very dangerous thing, and that kickass finale episode with its alarmingly loose grip on reality, amongst other things. You'll have to wait until tomorrow for that one, though, so be sure to get some exercise in the meantime. We only want what's best for you.
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Friday, December 28, 2007
Right Back Where We Started From
JIVE! The Strictly Come Dancing Story, BBC1, 7.00pm Labels: Flight of the Conchords, Strictly Come Dancing, TV
LIVE! Flight of the Conchords Special, BBC4, 2.10am 
Has the recent loss of certain brilliant shows left life seeming empty and pointless? Fret no longer, because the BBC understands and is tonight filling your televisual abyss with a couple of tasty retrospective treats.
For those of you in the early stages of Strictly Come Dancing withdrawal, there’s a history of ballroom dancing at the BBC hosted by original Come Dancing presenter, Angela Rippon, which leads us to ponder why Rippon (and her lovely legs as revealed by Morecambe and Wise) isn’t the one co-hosting SCD with Brucie. Surely that would be completely great?
If you’re missing New Zealand’s “formerly fourth most popular guitar-based digi-bongo acapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo,” or if indeed you missed the entire series of Flight of the Conchords , it’s worth rousing yourself from your post-Christmas carbohydrate coma, lifting the remote before your muscles entirely atrophy and turning to BBC4 to watch the repeat of their Live Special tonight (OK, technically very early Saturday morning). It’s preceded by some Screenwipe action to boot!
Fans of the series will recall that there was little in the way of actual on-screen gigage, so this your chance to witness the Conchords in their full live glory. The live act was in fact what led to them getting a proper telly show, so it’s an interesting introduction for those new to the lads, as well as an exciting historical artifact for existing fans.
If anything, the Conchords’ songs are even funnier out-with the context of the TV show and their employment of about 20 different musical genres and sub-genres back-to-back appears even more impressive. It’s a largely acoustic set, which lends a pleasingly ridiculous quality to their rap number. There’s no Murray or Dave, Brett is beard-free and Jemaine’s amazing wardrobe doesn’t get much of an airing, but the brilliance of the chortlesome twosome more than makes up for it. If you did miss the series when it was on, no doubt after watching this you’ll be rushing out to spend that record token you got for Christmas from your auntie on the DVDs.
By Kellie :: Post link
:: ::
1 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Dancing - with tears in their eyes?
FINALE! Strictly Come Dancing, BBC1, 5.50pm and 9.25pm Labels: BBC1, Strictly Come Dancing, TV
Gah, we've only just got over the excitement disappointment of this year's X Factor final, and now it's time for the final showdown in the Saturday night show that we actually gave a toss about this year: Strictly Come Dancing. It's been a thrilling series with more than its fair share of controversial moments, but Alesha Dixon and Matt Di Angelo have made it to the final and only one of them can win. Who will it be? We don't know, obviously, but let's have a quick(ish) look back over the highs and lows of the series:
First to get the boot was Brian "Richard Hillman" Capron, possibly as a result of Gail getting on the phone and furiously voting for all the other contestants. He was partnered with Karen Hardy, and we were a bit relieved to see her go out first - it's not that we're vindictive, because we like Karen a lot, but she's far less scary as a pundit on It Takes Two than she is as a contestant. There was lowculture-based outrage in week two when the iconic Stephanie Beacham was dismissed by the judges after the dance-off in favour of Letitia Dean, despite having clearly performed better. Could this, gasped the tinhat-wearing internet conspiracy theorists, have anything to do with the fact that Letitia had just signed on for the live tour, whereas Stephanie had not? We'll never know, but in all fairness Stephanie seemed grateful for the chance to put her feet up so soon, and Letitia went on to get a lot better, so really it was a win-win.
Week three was the calm before the storm, when Willie Thorne was ejected in favour of John Barnes (who, you may not have noticed, is a SPORTSMAN and dances LIKE A BLOKE - just putting that out there), but week four was when the shit hit the fan, as Gabby Logan and Penny Lancaster-Stewart were in the bottom two. Cries of "wtf?" were heard around the country, since nobody had expected either of them to go out so early. The judges elected to save Penny, and Gabby did an impressive gracious loser face, though it became apparent later that even several weeks after the fact, she still hasn't quite managed to see the funny side of it. This was also a massive smack in the face to those of us who assumed that Gabby and James would be the obvious victors in the contrived battle of the houses of Logan and Jordan.
Next to be sent home was Dominic Littlewood, who also proved himself to be a poor sportsman, especially when faced against John Barnes in the dance-off, considering that John Barnes is an actual SPORTSMAN, so we lost him and with him the lovely Lilia. The following week, Penny's luck ran out as she was up against the unexpectedly unpopular (that week, at least) Matt in the bottom two. He got saved by the judges, and Penny turned out to be one of those few but fortunate people who can still look incredibly pretty while crying.
John and Nicole were in the dance-off again the next week, and were joined by Kate Garraway and Anton du Beke, who had been living on borrowed time for quite a while. We would like, however, to take this opportunity to congratulate Kate for being a fantastic sport about the whole thing, and to wonder why people always single her out as the worst in the competition when Kenny Logan was no better. Anyway, John had also been dancing on the edge for some time and met his match the following week when up against Kelly Brook in the dance-off (Kelly having delivered an uninspiring samba due to having barely rehearsed that week, which we later learned was due to her dad being very ill).
Kelly then chose to withdraw from the competition following the death of her dad, leaving the top five as Alesha, Matt, Letitia, Kenny and Gethin Jones. One of those names does not belong, you may have spotted it: yep, Kenny was eliminated that week despite his lifting prowess, and not a moment too soon. Which not only meant that for the first time in two years, the show would definitely not be won by a SPORTSMAN, but that we realised we actually liked everyone in the top four, which seldom happens. Also this week, Gethin finally got over his well-documented "intimacy issues" and learned to shake what his mama gave him. Girls and gay boys countrywide were delighted with the results.
Still reading? Well done, we're nearly there. The quarter-final brought surprises aplenty as Matt forgot his steps twice and was bottom of the leaderboard with the judges, but was hastily saved by the voting public, leaving Alesha and Letitia to fight it out for the last spot in the semi-final. Letitia lost out, but bowed out of the competition with complete grace, so good on her. The semi-final brought even more surprises as Alesha delivered a beautiful Quickstep and Matt's Waltz got the competition's first perfect score, which had the unfortunate side effect of kicking Gethin out at the very last stage, in a decision that was not exactly approved of by all.
So here we are: Alesha and Matthew versus Matt and Flavia, and it could still go either way. They've both done amazing performances: Alesha's Cha Cha Cha and Waltz, Matt's Waltz and Salsa. As we said above, we liked everyone in the top four this year (and a few who weren't), so we're not going to be too disappointed whoever wins. We do have our favourite, but we're not saying who it is because we've learned from experience that doing so tends to jinx that person, so we'll just say: hurrah, both of you!
Don't forget that the results show is on the same night this week only, and Carrie will be doing a live blog of the evening's events over on Strictly Come Bitching. And, since this is probably the last time we'll get to use this for some while, we'll end by saying:
By Steve :: Post link
:: ::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard