“Tuned in” to Casualty last night because The Voice has just finished and I couldn’t be bothered to change channel and WHY NOT, FRANKLY.
There was a fairly heavy A-story in which DC Summerhayes from EastEnders was pretending to be a lesbian who was beating up her girlfriend, but got her comeuppance when she got her face burned clean off.
And then there was a pretty grim B-story in which a pregnant woman brought in after a car crash turned out to have been diagnosed with colorectal cancer three months earlier, but was keeping it secret. Well I’ve actually had colorectal cancer so I’m not particularly sure how much you could really keep that under wraps but OK.
As is so often the case with Casualty, the real joy was to be found in the C-story, which saw nurse Lofty (not Lofty from EastEnders, a different Lofty) decide that the best way to get the promotion he craved was to strip FULLY NAKED in the staff room and get a spray tan off the gay receptionist.
It all turned out about as well as you might have expected, frankly, but I don’t want to be too churlish about seeing Lee Mead’s arse in widescreen on an otherwise uneventful Saturday night. Assuming it was his arse at all and not some kind of stunt arse, in which case I’m putting in a Freedom Of Information Request to the BBC to ascertain exactly how much a stunt arse costs these days.
And mark my words, I’ll be looking for that to be refunded from my licence fee.