Desert island risks

EMPIRE! Lost, Channel 4, 8.30 & 10.00pm
One of us is a saint. One of us is a junkie. One of us is a murderer. One of us is crying. One of us is lying, in a lonely bed, staring at the ceiling, wishing she was somewhere else instead. Only those of you who have actually been marooned on a desert island for the past six months or so can have failed to be aware of Lost, the show that, along with Desperate Housewives, revived not only everybody's faith in scripted drama, but also the fortunes of flagging network ABC. An eclectic but generally beautiful group of plane crash survivors find themselves on a mysterious island, with little in the way of food and water and absolutely no idea how they're going to get home. Not only that, but there's something decidedly sinister about the island itself. But what could it be? Well, don't anticipate finding out tonight, because we've got an entire season to go yet, and even then they'll probably want to leave us a cliffhanger so that we'll watch the second one. There's a good chance you may be slightly distracted in the initial stages of the show spotting the recognisable faces: Dominic Monaghan of Lord of the Rings fame (bonus lowculture points for all of you who remember him from back when he was in Hetty Wainthropp Investigates), Matthew Fox (Charlie from Party of Five, or "Buffy Without Monsters" as Marti Noxon probably calls it), Ian Somerhalder (from The Rules of Attraction and the short-lived homoeroticism-fest that was Young Americans)...you'll note, of course, that we didn't say "famous faces", but you'll probably have at least one "Hey! It's That Guy!" moment. Good news, however, because Channel 4 anticipated we might be too busy face-spotting to pay attention at first, so they're showing both hour-long parts of the pilot tonight, either side of Big Brother. Don't make any plans for tonight, or indeed for any Wednesday night until the end of the season. Don't say we didn't warn you.

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Tiny things for you to watch:

Torchwood sock puppets.

SOMEWHERE in the world, even Nicki French is popular.

Terrifying Scottish man.

Historic Hollyoaks.

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Empire's 50 Greatest TV Shows of All Time

quote open Lost is so fucking overrated. Fifth-best show of all time? I'm not even sure it's the fifth-best show on Sky One quote close

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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La Vida Lowculture

Editor Paul has been watching Barefoot Contessa on UKTV Food: "I fucking hate her, yet I can't leave the room when she's on. Pure evil!" » not quite getting around to watching that new Futurama DVD: "Maybe at the weekend, eh?" » plotting a new member of the Lowculture family: "Nobody will have a clue what it's about, but I'm still doing it!"