TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for THURSDAY. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» RUSTLING Emmerdale, ITV1, 7pm
We caught an episode of Emmerdale (sounds nasty, doesn't it?) for the first time in ages last night, and it was rather good. The Dingles have accidentally stolen a cow from Andy, and there was some hilarious comedy "business" with a stun gun. The best line, though, was when the police went into the Woolpack to ask about the missing beast and Val called through the back to Louise, who promptly appeared. "I don't know what you mean, officers," said Val, "she's not missing at all." Great stuff!
» JAZZ HANDS! When Will I Be Famous, BBC1, 7pm
New docusoap showing a year in the life of some stage school brats at the Sylvia Young Theatre School.
» TONIGHT, BRIAN, I'M GOING TO BE...! Phoenix Nights, Channel 4, 10.50pm
Last in this welcome series of repeats. It's Stars In Their Eyes night at the Phoenix, and Den Perry is determined to put a stop to the whole affair.
» Are we missing something great? Or even something rubbish – we're honestly not fussed! Click on the comment link below and tell us all about it.

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Tiny things for you to watch:

Torchwood sock puppets.

SOMEWHERE in the world, even Nicki French is popular.

Terrifying Scottish man.

Historic Hollyoaks.

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Empire's 50 Greatest TV Shows of All Time

quote open Lost is so fucking overrated. Fifth-best show of all time? I'm not even sure it's the fifth-best show on Sky One quote close

Doctor Who

quote open I really want an Adipose, especially the one who was skipping down the street. quote close

Step Up 2:
The Streets

quote open God, this was BRILLIANT! I'm off to start a crew. quote close

Hollyoaks

quote open New Elliott is not as fit as I expect a made-over geek to be. He needs to do something better with his hair quote close

Torchwood

quote open I'm glad that Jack spent 2000 years choking on soil and dying. quote close

How To Look Good Naked

quote open I get that morally it's probably better because it's all about loving yourself in the body you're in, but from a voyeuristic point of view, I'd rather have seen her have a tummy tuck. quote close




About Us

According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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La Vida Lowculture

Editor Paul has been watching Barefoot Contessa on UKTV Food: "I fucking hate her, yet I can't leave the room when she's on. Pure evil!" » not quite getting around to watching that new Futurama DVD: "Maybe at the weekend, eh?" » plotting a new member of the Lowculture family: "Nobody will have a clue what it's about, but I'm still doing it!"