A LITTLE TALENT GOES A NOT-VERY-LONG WAY

It's Friday, and even now, many years on, we're still a bit sad that Terry Christian and Dani Behr will not be on our telly later this evening with another excruciation edition of The Word.
Fans of the ridiculous pair can still find them on the box though – it's just a question of knowing where to look.
As we pointed out a couple of weeks ago, Terry Christian joined our beloved Rustie Lee to take part in I'm Famous And Frightened 2 on LivingTV and, at the time, we heard whispers that Dani had found work in America, presenting a dating show for the smaller contestant – The Littlest Groom.
We are, at last, able to shed more light on this intriguing piece of television, thanks to lowculture reader James Foley, who reports:
» It featured Glen, a 23-year-old, 4'5" man who was looking for love. Through a series of one-on-one dates and tasks he had to choose between five women of similar height he might be compatible with.
» In a "hilarious" twist, Glen's dating pool is expanded to include three gorgeous women of average height. Would he decide that good things only come in small packages? Or realise his true heart lay 2ft above his eye level?
» Highlights included the participants being carted off to a golf driving range (small people playing golf = funny) and a line dancing segment (small people line dancing = v. funny).
» At various points in the show, when the participants spoke, subtitles appeared onscreen – because, of course, tiny people have tiny voices.
» The critics were surprisingly kind. The Holywood Reporter, for example, said that "The Littlest Groom ... embodies wretched taste on so many levels that it's difficult to convey it fully."
Little has been written about Dani's contribution to this tasteless enterprise, but with her extensive experience of presiding over dismal freakshows (as well as The Word and the fantastically bad Ice Warriors, she has also hosted another dating show, this one for bummers, called Boy Meets Boy), we can only assume that her input was crucial.
We can tell you, however, that the show's official website describes her as a "hostess extraordinaire", which sounds just about right to us.
After The Littlest Groom, you might expect that Dani would never work again, but she's currently "linked" to a new TV drama series called Denial about "the love and working lives of eight women,who live together in two houses in Chelsea, all drawn to the bright lights of London, desperate for success and determined to get it " – a project which will, presumably, leave her little time for the Faith, Hope and Charity reunion we've been anxiously awaiting for many a long month.

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Tiny things for you to watch:

Torchwood sock puppets.

SOMEWHERE in the world, even Nicki French is popular.

Terrifying Scottish man.

Historic Hollyoaks.

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Editor Paul has been watching Barefoot Contessa on UKTV Food: "I fucking hate her, yet I can't leave the room when she's on. Pure evil!" » not quite getting around to watching that new Futurama DVD: "Maybe at the weekend, eh?" » plotting a new member of the Lowculture family: "Nobody will have a clue what it's about, but I'm still doing it!"